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My Unexpected Spiraling Life

Novel By: FyresydeHerbalyst

Sidonie is trying to restart her life after she lost the only man she ever loved. Now she is packing up her seven kids and moving to Vegas where she has a new job at an ad agency. Her life is thrown a new twist after she plays a part in a TV prank show and meets six men that turn her world upside down. View table of contents...


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Submitted:Apr 10, 2012    Reads: 32    Comments: 2    Likes: 2   

Laura looked up at me with tears in her eyes. I could see the second guess starting to form before her eyes and she tried so hard to shrug it off. "Momma, I don't know what to do, I love her so much and I want only what's best for her, but I'm not sure if I can give her up. I love you Momma, but I don't even think I could give her up to you."

I smiled and nodded. "How about you give it a try and see how you do, I will help you when you need it and if you still feel like this in about two months, then she will still be yours. If it is overwhelming to you, then you can hand her over until you are ready or until you are sure you want me to keep her. I told you I am not going to keep her from you. I do need to talk to you though and I want you to give me the benefit of the doubt and hear me out like I did you all those months ago, okay?"

She nodded to me and held her daughter close to her heart and rubbed her head. "Today I went to check out a house, it is still in the kids' school district so it won't be another adjustment period, but it would mean you each get your own room, even you and Claudia. Andrew has asked us to take care of the house while he is gone and to stay with them when they get back from deployment. It is a very, very big house with more than enough room for everyone, including the six guys, but there is something else. The guys also want to help us get the money that is owed to us by the government, that way we are well cared for, but there is a catch."

She looked at me for a moment until comprehension dawned in her eyes. "You would have to marry one of them to get the compensation."

I nodded. I handed her the letter that Andrew had written to me and waited until she had read it over. She handed Claudia to me for cuddles as she read and reread the letter until I thought her eyes would bleed. She looked at me and took a deep breath. "Momma, what are you going to do? He is pretty much saying he will even stay in his room and away from you, all you have to do is say yes."

I looked at her in shock and raised my eyebrow at her. "I want to know exactly what you are thinking Laura. Do you want me to say yes, do you think I should say yes, or are you just stating the obvious? You know that I value your opinion, but I feel that there is another problem in the mix. I have been feeling things I shouldn't be feeling, but not for the person that wrote that letter."

She looked at me confused. "Mom you have always told me things, why are you being cryptic now? I can understand that you don't love Andrew, but what is going on in that head of yours?"

I thought for a moment. "Honestly I don't know. I have started to feel something with one of them. I don't know what it is, but when he presses me against him, even when he hugs me, my body catches fire. I shouldn't feel like this though, Harley meant the world to me and still does, but I am starting to become attracted to someone, and I don't know what to do about it."

Laura looked at me for a minute before she burst out laughing. "Oh Momma it sounds like you have a crush on someone. Maybe you should talk to him about it and see where things go. Don't rush into anything Momma, that is all I can say. I mean you have talked to him and he told you that if it isn't him then you can choose one of the others. So take your time."

I nodded at her, kissed Claudia and handed her back. "I love you and thank you for giving me something to think about. I need to go home and get some rest, I actually have to go in to work tomorrow for a staff meeting. If you need me at anytime just call alright?"

She nodded and hugged me tight. "I love you momma and thank you so much for being there for me. It means more than you will ever know."

I smiled at her and walked to the door. "I will always be there for you love, no matter what. Now make sure you let that baby get some rest Momma bear. Good night."

I walked out of the room and out the doors to the car. I felt myself smile as I looked up at the sky and talked to Harvey. "I am doing the right thing aren't I? Giving her the chance to be the mother she should be? I wish I had a bit of your advice right now love."

I got into my van and smiled as I put my key in the ignition. My phone beeped and I looked at the message that I missed and started to involuntarily smiled.

*Have another layover, will be able to call you in the morning if you would like me to. P*

I felt my heart thump in my chest at his initial and hit reply.

*Would like that. I need to talk to you about something. Be safe soldier. S*

I tuned the key and started the van. I put it in gear and hoped that I would make it home soon enough to see my children before they went to bed. As I got to the door I could hear some giggles and laughter coming from behind the door. I looked at my watch as a smile played across my lips. I quickly opened the door and rushed in, automatically I got run into by Celeste and Aleria. They giggled and rushed at me hugging me tight.

I reached down and hugged them to me and squeezed until they squeaked. I smiled and laughed as they ran across the apartment. I chased them down one by one and plopped them on the couch. By the time I was done I was laughing and breathless as I held them tight to me. My life didn't feel complete but so much better as I huddled up with my kids. I looked at all of them and smiled as I rubbed my hands together. "I have something to tell you guys, and I want your opinion before I decide what I am going to do."

They all looked at me and the older children nodded. "Mr. Andrew gave me a chance to move us into a bigger place, a place where all of you will have your own room, a big back yard to play in and a pool that you can use whenever you like. I won't tell him yes unless we all agree to it. So does anyone want to skip school and go with me there tomorrow?"

I was met with a chorus of cheers and I giggled. "Alright, well then why don't we get ready for bed because tomorrow is going to be a busy day and it is going to take all of us together to get it done. Now let's tuck up and get some rest."

I herded them all upstairs and tucked them in one by one. As I got to Aleria she looked at me and I smiled. "Momma, is Laura alright? She hasn't been home all day and I am scared that something is wrong with her or the baby."

I nodded. "Baby they are just fine, they just needed some rest and with Claudia being early. They will both be fine. Laura will be home in a couple of days and Claudia in about a week or so. I will take you to see them some time tomorrow, for now just rest my love." I kissed her head and hugged her tight. As I walked out of the room I heard her roll over and I smiled to myself.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out and looked at the number. I felt a smile cross my face as I answered.

Me* Hello

Parker* Hey, you said we needed to talk. How is everything?

I sighed but quickly pulled myself together.

Me* I found the letter about Andrew and the house, I want your opinion on everything.

Parker* Well, I think you guys moving in would be a good thing. It would be wonderful for us to be able to protect you. As for Andrew's proposal, I know he won't force you into something that you don't want to do. If you accept and then find that you don't love him, you don't have to stay with him. None of us would ever force anything on you.

Me* Parker, I am feeling things for someone that I thought I would never feel again and I am scared that if I do this and the person doesn't like me back then things would get odd. I don't want to come in between anyone, I don't want to do one thing and regret it later on.

Parker* Sid I understand, but you have to think it over and decide what is best for you. We don't want you to suffer in silence if there is something wrong. Talk to us, we will always be there.

Me* I just want to know if he feels the same way, it would make my decision so much easier. I just don't know how to ask him if he likes me the way that I like him.

I heard Parker sigh.

Parker* It is one of us isn't it. You are scared that you will come between us. Sid whatever choice you make, as long as it makes you happy, then we will be behind you.

Me* Parker, tell me. Please tell me you like me as more than a friend. Tell me that you feel something more for me than just friendship.

He was quiet for a minute and I started to panic.

Parker* Sid, you are still healing and we want you to fully heal. Give yourself time to go through all the stages of healing. We all want to make sure that you are clear headed no matter how long it takes, and where that path may lead you.

I felt the tears in my eyes at his words and nodded, trying hard to clear my voice of the pain I felt at his obvious rejection.

Me* Thanks Parker, I appreciate the help. I have to get some things together to take to the hospital for Laura and Claudia. Make sure you and the others stay safe Soldier and don't forget to write.

Parker* You take care too Sid and kiss those kids of yours for us.

I heard the sound of the phone click and I placed my phone back in my pocket, wiped the tears from my eyes and started to text Andrew.

**Getting our things together to move in, the answer to your question is Y.E.S. We will talk about it more later. Stay safe soldier.**

I put my phone back and started to gather the things for Laura and Claudia and then packed up my things. It was still long before sunrise and I couldn't sleep so I started to pack up the kitchen and everything else that we would need. The nanny rubbed her eyes and looked at me.

"You seem a bit confused with some things. Are you alright Sid?" She put her hand on my shoulder and I shook my head.

"No, not alright, but I will be. I will do whatever it takes to make sure that my children know they are the only things in my life. My heart doesn't matter anymore and I think that I have had my happiness and now it is my time to go all out for my children and make their lives as full as Harley made mine. It may not be fair that we lost Harley, but I will make damn sure that I am the best mom that I can be to all of those kids. I don't want them to feel like the leftovers that their families didn't want, that is what Harley and I strove for. The one person that I start to feel things for tells me that it is the depression talking and I am not ready. He didn't even give me the chance to find out if what I was feeling was real or not, he just told me no chance."

She held me tight as my chest started to feel like it was caving in. I thought back to memories of my Harley and how I had the same feelings for him the day I met him in High School, how it was love at first sight and withstood years of us being apart. Now that was he was gone from my life forever I couldn't figure out if I was trying to replace it with someone new or if I truly felt for Parker what I thought I was feeling. Part of him reminded me of Harley, his dark brooding nature, his quiet but helpful side along with his soft touch that made me forget myself so quickly. The more I thought about it the more I thought he might be right. I would go along with my plan until I knew for sure where I stood in my own life.

"I guess that he may be right, but it doesn't make the pain any less from his words. I guess that there still are a few more things that I need to get my head around." I laughed at my comment. "I guess I need to get my head around my whole life. I have just been skating by and you have showed me that. The kids smile so much when you are around, they are like their old selves again and it makes me so happy to hear the laughter that has been missing from all our lives. I think them getting their own space and live going back to a semi-normalcy will do us all a world of good."

She nodded at me. "Well you know that you have me for as long as you need me and I know that you have been busting your butt with two jobs, school and now eight children. Goodness knows that sometimes you do too much and your head spins around like the exorcist and you looked like you are about to explode. I won't abandon you or the kids for any reason Sid. Now why don't you try to get some rest and I will do some of this for you."

I shook my head and started to get back to it to get most of the things together before the kids awoke and I wasn't able to. I looked at her and smiled as I put my hand on her shoulder. She nodded her head and put on a pot of coffee as her and I got back to work. I smiled as I moved around the apartment. I docked my Zune and put it on quietly as Lana and I packed up everything. I started to dance around to Nickelback and each word hit me to the core as I lost myself in the music.

Nickelback - Lullaby

I know the feelin

Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge

And there ain't no healin

From cutting yourself with the jagged edge

I'm telling you that, it's never that bad

Take it from someone who knows where you're at

Laid out on the floor

And you're not sure you can take this anymore

So just give it one more try to a lullaby

And turn this up on the radio

If you can hear me now

I'm reaching out

To let you know that you're not alone

And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell

Cause I can't get you on the telephone

So just close your eyes

Oh, honey here comes a lullaby

Your very own lullaby

Please let me take you

Out of the darkness and into the light

Cause I have faith in you

That you're gonna make it through another night

Stop thinking about the easy way out

There's no need to go and blow the candle out

Because you're not done

You're far too young

And the best is yet to come

So just give it one more try to a lullaby

And turn this up on the radio

If you can hear me now

I'm reaching out

To let you know that you're not alone

And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell

Cause I can't get you on the telephone

So just close your eyes

Oh, honey here comes a lullaby

Your very own lullaby

Well, everybody's hit the bottom

Everybody's been forgotten

When everybody's tired of being alone

Yea, everybody's been abandoned

And left a little empty handed

So if you're out there barely hanging on

Just give it one more try to a lullaby

And turn this up on the radio

If you can hear me now

I'm reaching out

To let you know that you're not alone

And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell

Cause I can't get you on the telephone

So just close your eyes

Oh, honey here comes a lullaby

Your very own lullaby

Oh, honey here comes a lullaby

Your very own lullaby


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