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My Unexpected Spiraling Life

Novel By: FyresydeHerbalyst

Sidonie is trying to restart her life after she lost the only man she ever loved. Now she is packing up her seven kids and moving to Vegas where she has a new job at an ad agency. Her life is thrown a new twist after she plays a part in a TV prank show and meets six men that turn her world upside down. View table of contents...


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Submitted:Oct 12, 2012    Reads: 24    Comments: 1    Likes: 0   

As I got home Aleria rushed from the van and into the house before I could even get out. She screamed the house down as she worked to get everyone ready to go out to dinner. Laura looked at me and smiled her great smile. Mommyhood was doing wonders for her.

"What is Aleria screaming about?" She looked wonderful walking around with Claudia in her arms.

I rubbed Claudia's head. "How about you get a diaper bag ready so I can take you guys out to dinner. We haven't done much together and today I found out how much I am letting you down."

Laura shook her head. "No Momma you aren't letting us down, you are trying to be there for us the best you can while trying to support us and be both parents at once. Some of us may try to be stronger than they truly are and it hurts sometimes but it isn't because you aren't a good mother."

I raised my eyebrow. "Laura, Aleria thought I was going to send her away if she was sad. She was scared I was going to send her back to her mother if she got in my way. I have let you guys down if that is what even one of MY children thinks. I don't know what to do Laura, I really don't."

She looked at me shocked. "Mom, Aleria loves you, don't ever doubt that. Each of us has problems coping sometimes. There are times that Reese will cry at night, but it doesn't mean he loves you any less. He doesn't know how to let you know these things, of course we all deal with it in our own way."

I nodded. "Well from now on I think that I am going to be paying more attention, not working too much and I am also not going any further in my degree. I am going to do so much more than I have been for you guys. I felt horrible after hearing that Aleria thought that I was going to send her away just because she thought she was in the way. Laura, I don't ever want ANY of you to feel that way."

She looked at me for a second before she nodded and went to get her things together. I quickly went upstairs and changed out of my work clothes, left a message for my boss and then pulled my long hair back into a loose braid and slipped on a comfortable pair of white sandles with a small heel and smiled at myself in the mirror before I went into the bathroom to take off my professional face and put on one I was more relaxed with. I quickly walked down stairs and saw all the kids were already changed and assembled and waiting.

I laughed as we walked out of the house and into the van. I was excited tonight and I was bound and determined to make the changes in my life that needed to be done. It didn't take us long to get to a large cheesy diner not too far off the strip. We piled out of van and into the diner and I helped Laura get her diaper bag and we walked inside and the cool blast of air felt wonderful. It wasn't long before we were seated and checking out the menu. I ordered the milkshakes I knew each kid wanted and set Claudia's carseat on a high chair between Laura and myself.

I started to hum along with the music that came dimly through the speakers and smiled to myself. It took us five minutes to order everything the way it had to be for each kid but then we all looked at each other and smiled. I kept humming with the songs as they came on oblivious to the fact that I was doing it. I heard one of my favorite songs come on and I started to sing it lightly but as I moved into the song I started to belt it from the top of my lungs.

Pink - Sober
I don't wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest
Or the girl who never wants to be alone
I don't wanna be that call at four o'clock in the mornin'
'Cause I'm the only one you know in the world that won't be home

Ah, the sun is blindin'
I stayed up again
Oh, I am findin'
That's not the way I want my story to end

I'm safe up high, nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain inside, you're my protection
But how do I feel this good sober?

I don't wanna be the girl that has to fill the silence
The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth
Please don't tell me that we had that conversation
'Cause I won't remember, save your breath
'Cause what's the use?

Ah, the night is callin'
And it whispers to me softly, "Come and play"
But I, I am fallin'
And if I let myself go I'm the only one to blame

I'm safe up high, nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain inside, you're like perfection
But how do I feel this good sober?

Comin' down, comin' down, comin' down
Spinnin' 'round, spinnin' 'round, spinnin' 'round
I'm lookin' for myself, sober

Comin' down, comin' down, comin' down
Spinnin' 'round, spinnin' 'round, spinnin' 'round
Lookin' for myself, sober

When it's good, then it's good, it's so good 'til it goes bad
'Til you're trying to find the you that you once had
I have heard myself cry 'never again'
Broken down in agony, just tryin' find a friend, oh, oh

I'm safe up high, nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain inside, you're like perfection
But how do I feel this good sober?

I'm safe up high, nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain inside, you're like perfection
But how do I feel this good sober?

As the song ended I heard clapping from all around and started to blush. I looked at my sides to see both Laura and Aleria beside me, I heard their voices jump in somewhere in the middle of the song. I didn't even remember standing up but I sat down quickly and put my face in my hands. It felt strange to sing again after so long. The waitress came over to us with a man in a suit and I swore they were going to tell us to leave.

The manager looked at us with shock on his face. "That was amazing, absolutely amazing. How do you three sing like that, you sounded like angels?"

Laura looked at him and smiled. Since I was still speechless she answered for me. "Well mom has always sung, sometimes we join her, others we don't. Every now and then a song just hits us. Of course that isn't the one my mom is best at. She used to sing a song while our Dad was deployed and they actually had her do it on base the day they came back from an extended deployment. It was the most beautiful thing I ever heard."

The manager looked at me and I took my head out of my hands and looked at Laura. "How did you know about that? That was before you came to us?"

She smiled at me. "Daddy showed it to me, he said he was so proud of you for that." She looked over to the manager. "You know if you ask her enough she just might sing it. It is the most beautiful song I have ever heard."

The manager looked between me and Laura and then got down on his knees beside my chair. I was so embarrased, but it was amazing to know that my children supported me no matter what I did.

"Ma'am please. I would love to hear that song. Your voice is amazing and I know the other patrons enjoyed it too. Would you sing for us one more time."

I looked at him and sighed. The song was painful, Harley's favorite to hear after a long deployment. I looked at each of my kids in turn and they all nodded to me and I smiled. I looked at the manager and nodded. He looked at the waitress and had her rush back to turn the radio off.

I stood up and cleared my throat, each word rolled through my head as a stabbing memory, but my voice rang clear.

Theory of A Deadman - Wait For Me
You are not alone tonight
Imagine me there by your side
It's so hard to be here so far away from you
I'm counting the days till
I'm finally done
I'm counting them down, yeah, one by one
It feels like forever till I return to you
But it helps me on those lonely nights
It's that one thing that keeps me alive

Knowing that you wait for me
Ever so patiently

No one else knows the feeling inside
We hang up the phone without saying goodnight
Because it's the sound of your voice that brings me home
It's never been easy to say
But it's easier when I've gone away

Knowing that you wait for me
Ever so patiently
Yeah, you're everything I've ever dreamed of having and
It's everything I need from you just knowing that you wait for me

What I'd give
What I'd do
Knowing I'm not there for you
Makes it so hard to leave
What I'd give
What I'd do
Anything to get me home to you
And this time I'll stay

And you wait for me
Ever so patiently
Yeah, you're everything I've ever dreamed of having and
It's everything I need from you just knowing that you wait for me

As I finished I looked at my wonderful children and saw the tears in their eyes. It was a part of mourning and we all had to go through it. I put my hand to my face and felt the trails of tears that had leaked down my face and sung. I sat down and all of the kids gathered around me in a mess of hugs, tears and kisses just to feel the closeness they needed.

I looked over the mass to the manager and his eyes were wide and there were tears running down his face too. "That was amazing, just stunning. So much pain in that song, why is there so much pain with that song?"

I held his gaze. "My husband Harley was in the Army and on his last deployment he came home covered with a flag. We burried him three days later and moved here to start over. Things have been rough, but I have such a wonderful family that I couldn't ask for more."

The manager was shocked. "For that awesome performance, your dinner is on us tonight and bless you for everything you have done and do. It's amazing. We will let you enjoy your dinner now, thank you so much for letting us be a part of something, your voice is astounding and so powerful."

I nodded and he walked away. I held the kids tighter to me until the food came and then ushered them back to their seats. As we all ate I looked at them.

"Alright guys I need to talk to you. Tomorrow Andrew's mother Madi would like us to meet her in the park for a picnic and to meet all of us since I am marrying him. I know that it seems very soon for Mommy to remarry, but there are reasons. I want you to be on your best, and I mean BEST behavior tomorrow. I have every confidence that you won't act like the heathens that you really are."

I heard a laugh around the table and smiled to myself. I knew they were going to try something so I had to be ready for anything.


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