He was dead. It hadn't hit me hard until I stared at myself in the mirror, getting ready for the funeral. Funeral, I have never been to one of those. My first funeral, was for my best friend. A funeral, for the heart broken, for the loving, for the caring, and for my best friend Atren. Atren was the only person that treated me like I was more than who I am. Like I was this thing that not a person can touch or hurt, not even look towards. He made me feel perfect, special, something nobody that I know could do. Atren was always there and will still be here. Atren, why did you have to go? As I sit in the car waiting for Kale to walk out I stare out the window. Thinking, Kale is the closest thing to Atren I have. They have shared things that I might never get to hear, I have shared thing that Kale might never get to hear. Atren was special. As Kale gets into the car he tells my mother thanks for the ride and sits next to me. He looks at me and puts his hand on my leg and smile. I look at his hand, but refused to look at him, I was scared to look at him. The whole ride there was quiet and as soon as we arrived, everything hit me. We walk up the stair into the room where his body will be held. We walk in, I see his family and others that I haven't met, crying.
" Are you going tolook at the body?" Kale asks into my ear. I look at him, not realizing, we have to pass the body on our way to a seat. I stare at him and stare forward. I don't want to see his dead body.
" No, I don't want to see it, please Kale, don't let me see it," I say. I hide my face into his chest as he hold my head down. Atren's dead body is in this room, I don't want to see it, please, I don't want to see it. We get closer as I keep hiding in Kale's chest.
We get closer. We stop.
" Don't look," Kale says. I knew we are right next to the body. After a few seconds, we begin to walk. Wait, no, I want to see it. Never mind, I want to see it. This is the last time I will ever see Atren again in person. No, I have to see it. I rush back over to the dead body and my face drops everything. I stare, he's flushed. His face is flushed, his hands are on his stomach, his body still. I begin to cry as someone behind my holds me up. He is gone, he's really gone. I know that he is dead, but I can swear on everything that I know, that he was smiling in his sleep. His dead body was smiling, I could see it! An hour goes by. After a few things here and there, some of his family members and friends said some things.
" Would anyone else like to say a few things?" Asks Atren's uncle. I met him before. I knew most of Atren's family. Atrenhas so many cousins and aunts, I'm suprise I recognized them when they said hello to me. Do I want to say something? No, don't embarrass yourself, if Atren were here, he'd probably laugh so much as my nerves, but I want to say something.
" I do!" I say as I burst up, Kale looks up at me and everyone turns. I walk to the front and begin to shake. I put my hand on my head.
" Go ahead," Someone says nicely, smiling at me. I didn't recognize the face, but it helped me out.
" Hello. Um, I'm not really good at these things, matter of fact I've never been to a funeral before, so, kind of help me out. Uh, what do I say? Atren was my best friend. I shared everything with him, even food. I knew him for like, all my life, ever since we were 6. He told me that we would grow up together and live close by, no matter where life takes us. Atren was daring, he would always do things he wasn't suppose to, like flip off of things and break his back. If it wasn't for Atren, I would have never really met my best friend Kale! Atren was the best, I wish I could bring him back. My last words to him were I love you, but I never knew he was gong to leave me. I never got to say goodbye. And I beg for him to come back, but he doesn't show up. Now I'm here, speaking on hisbehalf, I never would expect this. He was such a good friend, I loved him. I really did. I remember when he told me he loved me. I remember when he first kiss me, I remember everything. His death has changed everything. In me, in others, in life, where will I go from here? He was the reason I moved in the morning. Where will I sleep when I get pissed at my parents? Who will I go to when I get sad about nothing? Who will hear me cry? I just, I just want to say goodbye and that I never meant to break your heart. So, goodbye best friend. Best friend that I will ever have. Bye." I step down, eyes still watering, cheeks soaking, throat dry. Everyone began to clap gently and I sat back down next to Kale. He stares into my eyes with shame and sadness. He shakes his head and grabs my face. He kisses me, forgetting where we are. He kisses me and out lips press gently. After that he gives me the same stare.
" Please, don't ever leave me," Kale broke down to me.
" I won't," I say hugging him. Hugging him hard, as if he were going to leave, I will never let him go. I won't ever.