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A Rockstar's Heart

By: IceBreaker

Chapter 12,

Chapter 12: Dinner and a kiss

We walked into a restaurant called Finns. It had golden carpet and burgundy walls. The tables were covered with gold table cloths. The chairs were cherry wood. I smiled as we all sat down at a table with four chairs. Lance pulled up a chair and sat next to me. “This is great.” Alicia said. Andy smiled at her and then kissed her. Logan looked at me. “You look really beautiful tonight.” He said. I blushed and he leaned over and kissed my cheek.

I was wearing a dark blue strapless dress with black heels. I had on a long black bead necklace and small bead earrings. My hair fell loosely over my shoulders. I had on a little eyeliner and strawberry lip gloss. Okay. Enough with the details.

I ordered a plate of chicken Alfredo and a glass of lemonade. Lance ordered the same but with a coke. Logan ordered a steak with french-fries and a beer. Him ordering the beer kind of made me upset but I didn’t say anything about it. Alicia ordered a chicken salad with water and Andy ordered a coke with a plate of pasta.

“Lance, why the hell did you get the chicken Alfredo? You know you don’t eat that shit.” Andy said. Lance glanced at me and then looked to him. “Shut the hell up.” He said. He reached in his pockets and grabbed a pack of cigarettes and took one out.

“Excuse me sir, you can’t smoke in here.” Said a tall blonde waitress.  Lance sighed and placed the cigarette on the table.

“Relax man. What do you need to smoke for anyway?” Andy asked.

“I always smoke when I need to think.”

“What do you need to think about?” Logan asked taking a sip of his beer.

“A lot of things.” He answered.

“Thinking about a song?” I asked. His eyes went to mine. “As a matter of fact, yes. That is partially it.” I smiled. “What’s it going to be about?”

“Love.” He answered sincerely. He kept his eyes on mine and I looked down at my food. I grabbed the fork and twirled it around on my fork.

“Me and Andy decided that once we have kids, we’re going to name the boy A.J. Andy Jr. and the girl’s name will be Andilicia.” Alicia said

“Andi- what?” Logan asked.

“A combination of Andy and Alicia.”

“Sounds like a disease.” Logan said laughing.

“You are a disease.” Alicia said.

“Andilicia is beautiful.” I said. She smiled and then playfully glared at Logan.

“What about you two? What would you name your kids?” Andy asked eating a bite of his pasta. I looked at Logan. “I always wanted to name my son, Dylan.” Logan said. I smiled at him and he smiled back at me.

“For a girl, I was thinking of Valerie.” I said.

“Dylan and Valerie. Very nice.” Andy said.

Lance got up and took his cigarettes with him. We all looked after him. Logan sighed. “Leave it to him to make a dramatic exit.” He said as he stood up.

“I’ll go. The last thing he needs is his half-drunk best friend lecturing him.” I said getting up. Logan sat down. “I am not half drunk.” He said weakly. I rolled my eyes and started walking towards the exit.

I got outside and Lance was leaning against the building smoking a cigarette. “Hey.” I said. He looked over at me and smiled slightly. “Hey, Beth.”

“What’s wrong? You walked out like you were mad.” I said. He sighed and closed his eyes for a second.

“I’m okay. Thanks for being concerned.” He blew out some smoke from his mouth. I nodded. “You’re my friend. Of course I’d be concerned.”

Lance kept his eyes on mine. “You really do look beautiful tonight.” He said. I smiled. “Thank you.” I said. He smiled and took a couple of steps closer to me and I became nervous. He took a strand of my hair and brushed it back.

“We should get back.” I said about to turn around. Lance softly grabbed my arm. I turned and looked at him. He stared into my eyes. I swallowed hard as he slowly leaned and pressed his lips against mine. I didn’t know what was happening right now. I couldn’t move. I was completely frozen in place. This wasn’t happening. Lance pulled back and looked at me. He saw the shock on my face and he sighed. “I’m sorry. I just…..I wanted to do that since the first time I saw you.” He admitted. I shook my head.

“What? How could you want…….?”

“It’s hard to not want you. You’re beautiful. You’re smart. Your voice is amazing. When you blush, it’s……it’s the most amazing thing in the world to look at.”

“Lance…….stop.” I said. He shook his head. “No. You need to hear the truth, Bethany.”

“No. I don’t. I don’t want to hear any of it.” I said as I walked back into the restaurant. I went back to the table and sat down.

“Was he okay?” Logan asked. I nodded. “Yeah, He’s fine.” I replied.

“Are you okay? You look nervous.” He said. I nodded. “I’m fine. Just kind of tired.” I was half telling the truth.

“You ready to go?” He asked. I nodded.

“I’m ready,” Andy said drinking the rest of his coke. He looked over at Alicia as he sat his glass down. “Going home or are you coming home with me?” He asked. Alicia frowned. “Going home. I have to study for this test I have at school tomorrow.” She said. Andy nodded and dug in his pocket. He sat two twenty dollar bills on the table. “That’s our part. Come on, babe.” He said. Alicia smiled as she got up. “Bye Beth. See you in school tomorrow.”

“Bye.” I said weakly.

Andy grabbed Alicia’s hand and they walked out of the restaurant. Logan grabbed my hand. “You okay?” He asked. I nodded. “Yes. I’m fine. I just want to go.” I said. He stroked my cheek and nodded. “Okay. We’ll go.” He took a wallet out of his pocket and dug out a fifty dollar bill and placed it on the table. He placed it back in his pocket and led me outside into the parking lot.

We took Lance’s car so I knew it’d be awkward to be in the car with him. He had to drive Logan home and then me. Logan and Lance were trying to figure out a chorus for some new song they came up with. I sat in the backseat staying quiet. Still in shock from what happened.

When Lance pulled up in front of Logan’s house, Logan looked back at me. “Can we talk?” He asked. I hesitated slightly before nodding.

“I have a curfew so make it quick.” Lance said. I slowly got out and went to Logan’s side. He got out of the car and shut it.

“Can you tell me what’s wrong? Ever since you got back from talking to Lance earlier, you’ve been kind of…….off.”

“I’m fine. I promise.” I said. He nodded. “Okay. I’ll pick you up from school tomorrow.” I nodded. He ran his fingers through my hair and leaned in to kiss me. He pressed me against Lance’s car and kissed me as hard as possible. I sighed into his mouth. When he pulled back, he looked into my eyes. “You sure you can’t stay tonight?” He asked. I nodded. “School.” I said. He smiled and grabbed my hand. “I love you.” He whispered. I felt bad. I needed to tell him that Lance kissed me. Wouldn’t he be angry?

“I love you too.” I said. He smiled and then let go of my hand as he walked up his driveway. I turned and got back into the backseat of Lance’s car. He pulled into the driveway across the street and then pulled out to turn around.

I kept quiet because of the nervousness and shame I felt. “I’m sorry, Beth.”

“Sorry for what?” I asked.

“Kissing you. I’m sorry for kissing you.”

“You are not sorry, Lance. You told me you wanted to do that the day you saw me. I just think its messed up how you could do this to Logan.”

“Logan always takes my girlfriends.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“Logan isn’t as perfect as you think. To you he’s probably prince fucking charming but really……that dude is something else.”

“Lance….just stop.”

“I’m trying to save you from getting your heart broken, Beth because believe it or not, I care about you.”

“Logan is not going to break my heart. He loves me. He said so.”

“Just because he says so does not mean he really does.”

“Just stop the car, I’ll fucking walk.” I said. He didn’t stop the car.

“I’m not stopping the car. I need you to believe me. Logan needs help. He cannot be with anyone because he’s fucked up in the head. That’s why no girl is with him more than a year.”

“Maybe I can break the record.” I muttered.

“You can’t. Beth you’re the last kind of girl he needs to be with.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You’re confident. You can go through shit with him. But he doesn’t deserve you.”

“I know I’m confident and he does deserve me.”

“No. Anyone with a rock star’s heart does not.”

“Anyone with a what?” I asked.

He stopped the car in front of my house and turned the car off. He looked back at me. “A while ago, I made up this thing in my head. Someone who has a rock star’s heart is a person who tries to show everyone around him that he loves his life. His career. His girl. But really he is a depressed person and sometimes is even suicidal. This happens to a lot of Rock stars. Kurt Cobain for an example.”

“I’m still confused.”

“A person who is passionate or believe who is passionate about their music and their friends but are really fucked up on the inside has a Rock star’s heart.”

“Logan is not fucked up in the head.”

“If you don’t know that then you don’t really know him.”

“I know him better than you think. Goodbye, Lance.” I said as I pulled the handle and opened the door. When I got out, he was already by me. “I care about you, Beth. That’s why I want to protect you.”

“Protect me from my own boyfriend? I don’t need protection from him. I need protection from you.”

“I’m no threat to you. I’m not scared to admit that I have feelings for you.”

“Well I don’t want you to.”

“You don’t want me to have feelings for you or you just don’t want me to admit it?”

“Both! Lance, I want to stay your friend. Only your friend. Okay? I love Logan and he’s the guy I want.” I said. Lance looked down into the grass and nodded. “Okay.” He answered. I smiled at him apologetically. “I’m sorry.” I whispered. He nodded. “It’s okay.” He said as he turned and got back into his car. I watched him as he sped off without another glance at me.


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