Chapter 18: Can't be the rebound guy
I lit up a cigarette as I’m sitting on the porch with my brother. “I’m proud of you.” I said.
“About what?” He asked. I just smiled. “I don’t know. I guess because you’re doing something with your life. I’m stuck here in this house with mom. Looking for a band.”
“Why? I thought you were in with the Dumbstocks.” Jake said laughing.
“The Daredevils, asshole.” I said. He smiled and nodded. “I know. I’m just trying to make you mad. Sorry bro. What happened anyway?” He asked as he took the cigarette from me and places it between his lips. “I kissed the lead singer’s girl.” I said.
Jake nodded. “Nice. Was the kiss good? Did it get further than that?”
I shook my head. “It was only a kiss. She didn’t even kiss me back. But I don’t blame her. I had no business kissing her in the first place.”
“So why did you? Jake asked.
“…………Because I love her.” As soon as the words slipped out of my mouth, I knew they were true.
“You? You never love anyone.”
“That’s not true. I love you and mom.” I said. He shrugged. “That doesn’t count little bro. I’m talking about all the girlfriends you’ve had, you never loved.”
“That’s because all of them ended up in Logan’s bed.”
“Who is that?” He asked. I sighed. “The lead singer.”
“He fucked your girlfriends?”
“Yeah. Every girl who I’ve ever slept has also slept with Logan. Even the girl who took my virginity.”
“Allie Williams? She’s……fat.” Jake said.
“Like he cares. He’ll fuck anything that has a pussy. He’s taken advantage of every girl he’s ever been with because he’s an alcoholic. And he’s taken advantage of Beth.”
“That chick you kissed?” He asked. I nodded.
“And now he’s leaving and she’s pregnant with his baby.”
“Is he aware of the baby?” Jake asked. I nodded. “Fucking prick.” He muttered. “Tell me about it. I mean I understand that his whole dream is to be a rock star but now he has a fucking responsibility. I have never met a more selfish prick than him.”
“Damn. You are pissed.” Jake said giving my cigarette back to me.
“I’m sorry. It’s just that Beth doesn’t deserve that shit. She doesn’t. She’s a good girl and he just had to walk in her life.” I put the cigarette between my lips. My phone rang and I reached into my pocket. And looked at the caller id. It was unknown.
I pressed the send button and then held the phone to my ear.
“If this is a bill collector, fuck off.” I said handing the cigarette back to my brother as he laughed.
“Lance?” Asked a small voice and my entire mood changed. I actually felt my heart beat quicken from just hearing her voice. “Beth?” I asked. She sounded like she was crying. I got up from the porch stairs and paced back and forth in the yard. “Can you pick me up? I hate to ask because its dark outside and I’ve been so mean to you but I’m alone out here.” She whispered.
“I’m getting in my car right now.” I said as I grabbed my keys from the porch.
“Yeah bro Get your girl!” Jake called after me as I walked to my car. I smiled at him and then got into the car.
“You’re at a pay phone?” Lance asked starting up the car.
“Yeah the one on Acre street.” I said. Lance was quiet. “‘The hell are you doing there, Beth? That street is dangerous.”
“I know but I couldn’t take being in the car with Logan another second.” I said leaning against the wall of the phone booth.
“I’m almost there, Beth. Just around the corner.” He said.
“Okay.” I whispered. I hung up the phone and waited. Soon enough, Lance’s white car pulled up. I opened the door and went to his car. I opened the door and got in. “Thank you.” I said. He smiled. “It’s not a problem, Beth. So what happen with you and Logan?”
“He told me he liked Alicia.”
“Of course. He jumps from girl to girl. A guy like Logan Nadilin is not supposed to have a girlfriend. All of his relationships failed and they will continue to fail as long as he keeps being an asshole.”
“I thought he loved me. He defended me that day he punched you. Why did he do that if he really didn’t care?”
Lance scoffed. “To make it look like he cared,” He answered. “That idiot never liked me anyway. I had it coming rather I kissed you or not.”
“I can’t believe he turned out to be such a prick.”
“I can’t believe you fell for his nice guy act.” Lance said.
“It’s not my fault, it was something about him.”
“Isn’t that every girl’s excuse?”
“Prick.” I said. He looked at me with a smirk on his face.
“Where do you want me to take you?” He asked. I laid my head back. “Home. Don’t really feel like being around a lot of people now.” I admitted.
“You do know I’ll be here whenever you need me though, right?” He asked. I nodded. “I know that, Lance. Thank you.” I said. He parked the car in my driveway.
“Thanks for giving me a ride.” I said. Lance nodded. “You’re not mad?” I asked. His eyebrows pulled together. “What about?” He asked.
“I’m pregnant with Logan’s baby.” I said. Lance let out a sigh. “How could I have stopped that from happening, Bethany?”
“You couldn’t.” I said shaking my head.
“Exactly. I couldn’t stop you and Logan from having sex.”
Lance nodded. “Planning on crying your eyes out when you get in the house?” He asked. He tried to make it sound like a joke but under it, I can hear the seriousness.
“Maybe.” I said smiling at him. I could feel the tears on the inside. I guess I didn’t want to cry in front of Lance.
“You do know that you can cry in front of me, right? I won’t call you a whiny little bitch unless you were Andy or my brother.”
I sighed and leaned my head against the passenger window. “I’ll feel better about crying alone. But thanks.” I said. A tear slowly slipped down my cheek.
“Looks like the water works are starting already.” He said smiling apologetically. I nodded and wiped my tears away. “I’m going…..I’m going to go.” My voice was breaking and squeaking. I grabbed the handle of the door and pushed it open. I waved to him and closed the door. He waved back to me and started the car up. I slowly turned and walked to my door. Grabbed my keys, opened the door and walked in. I slammed the door shut and ran upstairs to my room. I closed the door and pushed my white chair against my door. My lock was broke and I didn’t want to be disturbed. I slid my jean jacket off and turned off my light. I just laid on the bed and closed my eyes. I heard the rumble of thunder and that’s how my heart sounded. Abnormal. Not right. I turned to my side and looked out my window. The rain splattered against my window and my eyes began burning when I felt more tears slide down. I started to cry into my pillow. But I couldn’t stay quiet enough because I heard a knock on my door. “Beth?” Asked my mom trying to push the door open.
“Leave me alone.” I cried. The sheets were bunched up in my fist and my eyes were shut tight. I loved Logan and he probably never loved me. Maybe it was all an act. Why did I ever trust him? He’s just going to leave even after I told him that I was carrying his child. I thought he was better than that. I guess not. Every time he told me he loved me, was it true or just bullshit like our relationship? My heart was broken and the last thing I wanted to do was make Lance the rebound guy. He deserves better than me. Because he is better than me.
Logan’s gone and life will go on……..I hope.