Chapter 23: Getting back together
I hung up the phone and quickly got out of bed. I grabbed a pair of white shorts and a white sweater and my black flip flops and rushed downstairs. I opened the door and closed it as I walked out. Logan was leaning against his red car as he was looking at me. I slowly walked over to him.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“I came back realizing that I need to help take care of my child.”
“You shouldn’t have come back. I’m getting an abortion today.”
“What?” He asked.
“Oh so now you care?” I asked. He stepped away from his car.
“You are not getting an abortion.”
“It’s my baby so I can do what I want with it. I hate this too. I hate having to kill it but I don’t have my life together at all so I can’t take care of it and I’ll be damned if I have it and then give it to you.”
“I can’t believe you.” He said shaking his head.
“I can’t believe you either. You’re not Mr. fucking perfect.”
“I know that. It’s your fault for assuming that I was.” Logan said. I glared at him. He glanced over at Lance’s car and then looked back at me. “I see it didn’t take you long to let him into your bed.”
“No. He’d be a way better father than you’d ever be.” I said harshly. Logan grabbed my arm and squeezed it tight to the point where it hurts. “Watch what you say to me, Beth.” He said.
“Let go of me.” I said. He didn’t listen. “Let. Go. Of. Me.” I said slower. He slowly let go. I stepped away from him for a safe distance.
“I gave up the biggest moment of my life for you and this baby.”
“You must have been drinking a bottle or two of vodka if you seriously think I’m going to take you back. Yes, I’ll always love you. But…..there can never be an ‘us’ again.”
“I know that. I didn’t come back for you. I came back for my unborn child who is going to be dead in a few hours.”
“I don’t know what to tell you then.” I said.
Logan sighed and ran his fingers through his dark hair.
“Andy isn’t talking to Alicia and Alicia isn’t talking to me. It’s all your fault. You have to go apologize to Andy. You owe him that for trying to talk to Alicia while they were still together.”
“He hates me.” Logan said staring down at the grass.
“I hate you too but I’m still standing here talking to you.” I said. Logan glared at me and shook his head. “You were a mistake, Beth.”
“I feel the same way about you, trust me.” I said. He went to the other side of his car. “Oh and for the record, I was cheating on you with my ex. Sorry.” He said smiling as he got into his car.
I held my middle finger and he returned it back to me as he drove off.
……………………..I never thought me and Logan would hate each other so much. I fought back my tears and turned and went back into the house. I closed the door and went back upstairs to my bedroom. Lance was looking out the window. I stopped in the doorway and he slowly turned to me.
“I saw and heard the whole thing. Are you okay?” He asked. I nodded and closed my door. “I’m fine. Logan…….was just an accident waiting to happen.” I said shrugging. I got onto my bed and Lance got in with me and kissed me. And then kissed me again. “You promise you’re okay?” He asked. I nodded and laid down. “Just kiss me again.” I whispered. Lance smirked and did what I asked him to.
“Andy is beyond pissed. He wants to talk to me.”
“I feel like aside from Logan, this is all my fault.”
“It’s not, Beth. It’s not your fault. You just fell for a bad guy.” Logan said sitting up. “What time you got to go to the clinic?” He asked pulling his pants on.
“Around eleven. It’s eight forty right now.”
“Want to go over Andy’s house?” He asked. I nodded and took off my shorts and put on some jogging pants.
Lance got completely dressed and we got downstairs. My dad was down there and I made Lance hide while we snuck out.
We got in his car and drove over Andy’s house. There was tissue and red plastic cups on his lawn and around his house. “He had a goddamn party and didn’t invite us. I should kill him.” He said. I smiled and we got out of the car. Lance held my hand as we walked up to the door and he rung the doorbell.
He got out a pack of cigarettes and placed one in his mouth. A blonde half naked girl answered the door. My eyes grew wide. She looked behind her and Andy came to us. He had on some black shades and some dark green shorts.
He was smiling. “Lance, Beth.” He said. “Go in the other room……..girl.” He said. The blonde left and Andy was now fully in the doorway. “So what’s going on? No doubt the both of you fucked last night.”
I looked down to my feet and Lance stayed silent for a second. “So I was right. It’s about time, man. I was waiting for you to hit that.”
“Can you forgive Alicia?” I asked.
Andy shook his head without hesitation. “Nope. No can do. I’m sick of her and her bullshit. I’m done. I’m fucking done. Yeah my mom will be pissed but………..oh well.”
“Please. Don’t be mad at Alicia. Be mad at Logan. She loves you Andy.”
“Yeah and she showed it by letting Logan text her and call her and not telling me about it. Yeah that shows her love for me.”
“I know……I know she should have told you but she loves you. She honestly does. Just talk to her.”
“I’m seeing someone else.”
“You probably don’t even know that blonde girl’s name.”
“……..okay. I don’t but I’m with her. She won’t cheat.”
“You don’t know her. This could easily be a fling with her.” I said. Andy sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
Lance said, “Seriously though, this is fucking stupid. You know you love your girl more than anything. Talk to her.”
“I will…….when I’m ready.”
“No. You will now. Use my phone call her, get rid of this blonde and work things out. Work it out right now.” Lance said blowing out smoke.
Andy sighed. He knew Lance was right and he knew he wanted to do what Lance was saying.
“Fine Fine. I’ll do it.”
“Thanks.” I said.
I drove over Andy’s house after he called me and told me to come over. I was nervous. With Andy you have to be prepared for a lecture when you piss him off. He’s always been that way. I’m prepared though. I’ll let him yell or whatever. I deserve it any way. I pulled up in front of his house and he was picking things up from the yard. He looked tired. I remember the day I met him.
Monday, September 6, 2010
I was sitting in Ms. Edward’s English class when the door opened and a boy with black hair and dark brown eyes walked in the room. He was so hot. He had a piece of paper in his hand. He thrusted it towards Ms. Edwards and she slowly took it from him surprised at his rudeness. “Ah…Andy Allen, you can sit in the back next to Alicia Tater. That seems to be the only seat left in this class.” Andy sighed and searched for the empty chair and found it and then glanced at me.
He rolled his eyes and shook his head as he walked down the aisle. He sat in the seat next to me and slowly looked at me. I looked back at him. “What are you looking at?” I asked. He glared at me. “Some pieces of your hair are sticking up. You don’t have to get an attitude with me.”
“I’m not getting an attitude.”
“Why do all girls do that?”
“Have to be rude when a guy just says she needs to fix something.”
“Not all girls like to be corrected.”
“I was just saying, I wasn’t trying to correct you.”
“Well then don’t say anything at all.” I said.
“So you just want to walk around with your hair messed up?”
“I would have eventually went to the bathroom and looked into the mirror to fix it.”
“Well I saved you a trip.”Andy said.
“Do you want to go out with me?”
And that’s how it happened. A little stupid argument that was for nothing made us start dating. As I looked at him now, I am just thinking back to the memories I had with him. Our first date. Our first kiss. The first time he fucked me. The nineteenth time he fucked me. The fiftieth time he fucked me. The first time we made love. The first time I met his parents. The first time he met mine. The first time I seen him perform with his band. I nearly cried. I didn’t want it to be over between me and him. He turned and saw me as I got out of the car and he jerked his head to motion towards his house. I followed him inside. His house looked worst then his lawn. He closed the door and sat down on the coffee table while looking at me. I slowly walked over and sat on the couch facing him.
He was glaring at me and for a second, it seemed like he was about to hit me. But then his expression softened slightly. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked. I shrugged.
“No. Don’t do that. Just tell me.”
“I don’t know why I didn’t tell you. I knew you and Beth would be hurt if I told the both of you.”
“You didn’t think we’d be hurt if you kept it a secret?”
“But what, Alicia?”
“I….. I’m sorry.”
“What did he say when he first texted or called you?” He asked. I looked down at the floor. He grabbed my face and made me look at him. “What. Did. His. First. Text. Message. Say?” He asked. I slowly surrendered. “It said ‘I want to fuck you’. I admitted. Andy sighed and let go of me.
“And what was your reply?” He asked.
“I didn’t reply at all.” I said. He nodded. “Okay. How many more text messaged did he send before he started calling you?”
“Umm. Maybe like five or something like that.”
“And what did they say?” He asked.
“They just said that he’s been thinking about me.” I admitted. Andy was nodding. “And when he called you, what was he saying?”
“He was asking me if I wanted to fuck him. And that it would be our secret. I hung up on him and he continued calling me but I didn’t answer anymore after the first call.” I said.
Andy shook his head. “Well my dear, you are a good fucking actress.” He said. My eyebrows pulled together. “What are you talking about?”
“So all that time when he was with Beth, he was texting you and you pretended that nothing happened. You are quite the actress.” He said nodding. I just got up and walked towards the door. As soon as I opened it, he closed it and pressed me against the door. I stared at him. “Don’t ever do that again. Okay?” He asked. I nodded. “I won’t. I won’t ever keep anything from you again, Andy. I promise.” I said. Andy nodded. “I believe you, baby.” He whispered. He pressed his lips against mine hard and I dropped my purse and my keys and started unbuttoning his shirt as he unbuckled my belt.
I was released from the clinic and I felt fine. I was only slightly upset that I didn’t have any bundle of joy inside me to meet in the next nine months anymore. But I’d have another chance someday. Lance was waiting for me in the parking lot. I smiled and came over to him. He had a cigarette in his mouth. “Where’s your car?” I asked. He shrugged. “Thought we’d walk today.” He said.
We began slowly walking nowhere in particular. “There’s a park two miles away. Want to go?” He asked. I nodded. “Sure.” I answered. He led me to a park that had a swing set and a sliding board. “Not much of a park.” I said. He smiled as I sat down on a swing and he started to slowly push me. “We need to rehearse.” He said.
“For what?” I asked. He didn’t answer at first.
“For what?” I asked again. Lance held onto the chains on both sides of the swing. “I got us a gig.” He whispered in my ear. “Excuse me?” I asked.
“Our new band? Icebreaker. He said.
“You’re kidding me.” I said looking back at him. He shook his head and smiled. “You’re the lead, baby.”
“No…..No…..No. No. No. No. No, Lance, I don’t want any part of this. Why would you do that?!”
“Beth, relax.” He said. I got off of the swing and looked at him. “No. I’m not going to relax. How could you do something like this to me?”
“Beth, the fucking world needs to hear you sing. You don’t understand what an awesome fucking voice you have.”
“I’m serious. I’m trying to get a band together. Get things back to normal.”
“There’s no such thing as normal.” I whispered looking down at the ground. Lance lifted my chin with his finger. “I know you’re scared, Beth. But if you don’t do this, you’ll be hiding your voice forever. You shouldn’t hide something so fucking beautiful.” He said. Lance’s voice was making me melt. He could be very persuasive. But not in this case.
“No. I can’t do it, Lance. And I won’t. How could you just come up with a new band and all that without talking to me first?”
“Because I knew you’d say no.”
“I’m saying no now.”
Lance smiled. “Yes. You’re saying no but I’m saying yes.”
“You can’t force me to do it.”
“I have my ways in manipulating you.”
“How?” I asked.
Lance smirked. “You’ll see.”