Chapter 26: Your Love
When I woke up, all I saw was bright white walls and heard an annoying beeping sound. My head was pounding. My vision was blurry. I closed my eyes and opened them again and things started coming in focus.
A face. Alicia’s face. She looked like she’s been crying. “Alicia?” I croaked. My throat was dry.
“Beth, oh thank fucking goodness, I thought you were going to die because of those assholes.” She hugged me tightly. I hugged her back. When she pulled back I reached and felt some kind of cloth going around my head. “What?”
“You cracked your skull and broke your nose too. You could have died if Lance hadn’t have rushed you to the hospital. I am over him and Logan fighting and arguing. And you should be too.” She said.
I ignored what she said and sat up. “Is Andy here with you?” I asked. She nodded. “Him and Lance are in the cafeteria.” She said.
“How long have I been here?” I asked. She sat on my bed beside me. “Two days.” She answered.
“Your mom and dad have been worried. They’ve been calling my phone nonstop asking if you were woken up yet. They went home a few hours ago but promised to be back.”
I sighed and ran my hands over my face. “Do you know who it was that punched you?” She asked. I shook my head. “Did you see?” I asked. Alicia shook her head.
I sighed and closed my eyes.
“Want me to get the nurse?” She asked. I Shook my head. “I want you to send Lance in here.” I said. She bit her lip. She hesitated and then got up and walked out of the door. I laid back down on the bed and looked up at the ceiling.
I winced at a slight pain in the back of my head.
The door soon opened and Lance walked in. He looked like he hadn’t slept for days. His hair was all messy. He had slight bags under his eyes. His clothes were sloppy. But he still looked good as always.
He closed the door and slowly walked over to me. Every step was hesitant. When he finally got to me, he ran his fingers through his hair and stayed silent. I couldn’t take my eyes off of his.
He opened his mouth to speak after a few minutes. “It was me.” He whispered.
“What?” I asked.
“I was the one who punched you but it was an accident, Beth. I swear to god. I didn’t mean to do it.” He said. He had an apologetic look on his face.
“I know you didn’t mean it.” I whispered.
Lance took my face in his hands. “You know I love you. Right?” He asked. I nodded.
“And I’d do anything for you because you’re everything to me.”
“Lance…….I know. I know. I just……..”
“You just what?” He asked.
I shrugged and looked down at the sheets. “I don’t really know what to say about what happened. I wanted the both of you to stop fighting and neither of you did. I don’t know how I feel.” I admitted.
Lance sighed and rub his fingertips against my cheek. “I love you. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want that to happen and I feel so guilty for what I done. I need you to forgive me, Beth.”
I nodded. “I do. I just need…..I need some time to myself. Like a day or two to myself. Without Logan, Andy, Alicia, or you.” I whispered. Lance stared at me. He hesitated before nodding. “Okay.” He said softly. He leaned down and brushed his lips against my cheek and kissed me softly. His lips felt warm against my cheek. He slowly pulled back and looked me. “Beth, my heart is yours.” He whispered. He slowly turned and took out a pack of cigarettes as he left.
I laid back down in my bed and let out a sigh as I closed my eyes. I wanted this to be over. I wanted it all to be over.
I got out of the hospital two days later. And I ignored every phone call and text message. I didn’t feel like talking. Not even to my parents. I kept quiet for two straight days. Staying in bed. Reading. Eating and sleeping. All the things a depressed person would do. But I’m not depressed.
Or at least I didn’t think I was. I took the pain meds that my doctor gave me before I left the hospital. I laid in bed as the pills took effect. As they took effect, words started going through my head. Like poems. Lyrics.
I quickly got up and grabbed some paper and a pencil and began filling the paper with tons of lyrics. Tons.
Every thought in my head. Dark and angry or passionate, I wrote it down.
I made every thought in my head a line in the lyrics. It was unexpected. How hard these lyrics hit me like a bat.
It felt great to know exactly what I was writing. To get out what I felt. Anger or sadness, I wrote it down and sung it out loud to make sure it made sense. I smiled at my work. And I was surprised at how my lyrics were sweet but then turned dark.
I wasn’t turning dark.
Only my lyrics were.
I bit my lip and smiled. I sung the songs out loud and was satisfied with how good they sounded to me.
I felt good at the silence. I just needed quiet for a second and I got it. And somehow, the silence gave me inspiration to write lyrics.
I did eventually fall asleep.
There was a knock on my door and I sat up. I opened my eyes wide and then closed them. I opened them again. “Come in!” I called. My door opened and my mom had the cordless phone in her hand. She held it out to me.
I sighed and took it from her hands. I didn’t start talking until she left and closed the door. “Hello?” I asked.
“Can I come over?” Lance asked. I sighed and rubbed my left eye. “Lance……”
“Two days, Beth. It’s been two days. I just want us to talk. You said you weren’t mad at me.”
“And I’m not. I just wanted a break from my friends. That’s all.” I said.
“Am I just a friend?” He asked. I shook my head.
“No.” I answered.
“We never confirmed that we were together.”
“We had sex. More than once, Lance. That pretty much confirmed we are together.”
“Well I want to see you.”
“Why don’t I just come over your house?” I asked.
“Alright.” He said. We both hung up at the same time. I got up and took a quick shower. Then I got dressed in jean shorts and a white t-shirt and white flip flops. I only where flip flops when my toenails are painted.
They were painted black and so were my fingernails. I put a white head band into my hair and grabbed my keys and headed out the door. I took my mom’s car over his house.
Only his white car stood in the driveway so I knew he was here alone. He seemed he was always alone in his house. I got out of the car and walked up to his door and knocked.
After two knocks, he opened the door and let me in. We slowly walked over to the couch and I sat beside him and then looked into his eyes.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered. I shook my head. “It was an accident. Lance, it was an accident. I’m not mad. I just wanted a break. And during that break, I started writing.”
“Songs. Lyrics. I have at least fifty songs written in my notebook and I think they’re great.”
“Why didn’t you bring it with you?” He asked. I didn’t know. I guess I forgot.
“I forgot.” I said. He gave me a half smile.
“It’s okay. Question is, are we okay?” He asked. I bit my lip and leaned in and kissed him. I missed the taste of his lips. “Does that answer your question?” I whispered. He smiled and stood up. He licked his lips as he looked down into my eyes. He held out his hand. I smiled at him and accepted his hand.
He led me up the stairs to his bedroom and he closed the door. He pressed me against the door and his hands rose my shirt over my head and threw it onto the floor and his lips crushed hard against mine and his body was pressed against mine also.
I raised his shirt up and he pulled it off and, while still kissing me, pulled my shorts down and they fell to my feet.
As his lips traveled down to my neck, I got his pants unbuttoned and pulled them down. His hard on was poking me in my stomach. I wanted him in me now.
He and me both pulled his boxers down to his feet and his fingers slipped under my panties and slowly pulled them down as his eyes stayed on mine.
He grabbed my right leg and brought it up to his waist and slipped inside of me. As I gasped, Lance kissed me while slipping deeper into my wetness.
He caressed my leg that was hooked against his waist. I started pumping his cock in and out of me slowly and he brought my other leg up and kissed me deeply. Lance kissed and began biting my neck repeatedly and I closed my eyes and moaned.
His body was so warm against mine. “I’m about to cum!” I cried. Lance pumped harder and faster. He grunted as I felt his warm cum squirt into me and I came on his cock. Lance held me tighter and breathed against my neck softly. My fingers pulled his hair and he brushed his lips against mine and then slowly sat my feet back down to the ground. He didn’t let me go yet. He leaned his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. I closed mine and I felt his lips on mine again and his fingers were in my hair. He kissed me hard, almost as if he wasn’t going to see me again after today.
He slowly pulled his lips apart from mine and stared down into my eyes. He then grabbed my hand and led me to the bathroom. He turned the bathwater on and we both got in. It was scorching hot but I eventually got used to it. He was sitting in the bathtub and I was sitting on him with my head on his shoulder. He’d lean down and kiss my hair every few seconds.
“Sing to me. One of your songs from your journal.” He whispered. I shook my head.
“Mmmm you’ll have to convince me.” I said teasing.
Lance’s hand slid down my chest to my stomach to my clit. I sucked in a breath and closed my eyes. He then started rubbing my clit. I moaned his name repeatedly. I felt like I was about to cum hard. “Am I convincing you now, baby?” He whispered in my ear. I nodded and arched my back. He rubbed faster and I came hard and laid back on his chest breathless.
“Did I convince you?” He asked. I opened my eyes and smiled up at him. “Yes.” I answered. He smiled. “What’s the first song called?” He asked.
“Let me go or Chains. I haven’t figured out which one yet.” I answered. He nodded. “I like it. Go ahead.” He whispered.
I sung the song to him and he started singing the chorus along with me.
“So what do you think?” I asked.
“I think that it was fantastic. I loved it. You should sing it at our next gig which is next Friday by the way.” I turned and looked at him. “Why is it that you know about gigs before anyone else?” I asked. Lance shrugged. “Because I have good sources, Beth.” He kissed my cheek and gave me a sexy smile.
“I love you.” I whispered.
“I love you.” He whispered back.