It had been three months since I saw my baby boy for the first time. My mom was so excited about having a grandson and immediately began planning a baby shower.
I woke up and felt terrible. When I looked in the mirror, I realized why. My stomach had grown...alot. I laid my hand on my newly formed belly and smiled. "Well, you grew didn't you?"
Justin had stayed in constant contact with me all these months and, sadly, neither Logan or David had spoke to me. Every now and then, when Justin called me, he would ask, "What are we going to name our son?"
"I have no idea, Justin," I would say.
Roscoe came scampering into my room and whimpered at me. Seeing the pup made me miss Logan. "What's a matter, boy? I bet you're hungry."
I changed into some clean clothes and headed towards the door. My phone started buzzing on my end table and I turned back around.
On the screen, was David's name and number. He was calling me. I quickly picked it up, but I was too late. It went to voicemail.
I listened intently to his voicemail. "Hey...um...it's David. I know it's been forever since we've talked and I'm really sorry about that...I've been busy...but I was wanting to talk to you today, like in person. So, when you get this message, can you give me a call back? Talk to you soon, bye."
What did he want to talk about? Roscoe had already left me to get his food. When I walked downstairs, he was sitting in front of his bowl, waiting.
I giggled and walked over to the cabinet and grabbed a can of wet food. My mom emerged from her bedroom bright and cheery. "Good morning! How are we feeling today?"
"Sluggish. Ready to have a baby." I scraped the dog food out of the can and placed Roscoe in front of it. "Eat up, boy."
My mom laughed at my comment, and walked over to me. "Can I feel the baby," she asked.
I nodded and allowed my mom to place her hand on my belly. After a moment, we both quickly looked up and grinned. "Did you feel that?" My mom was almost more excited than me.
My baby had kicked. For the first time, I had felt my baby living inside me.
"We need to have a baby shower," my mom stated.
When I woke up, Jared was sitting on the couch watching some show called 'Guntucky'. I scratched my head and mumbled, "Are you going to live on that couch forever?"
I grinned and replied, "Well it is pretty comfy. Rough night?"
Jared sat up and patted the couch seat beside him. I shook my head and sauntered into the kitchen. "Coffee's already made," Jared hollered from the living room.
How did he know I wanted coffee? I got a mug down from the cabinet and poured coffee into it. When I came back in the living room, Jared was standing up with his arms crossed. "Something is wrong with you...what is it?"
I sighed and said, "I don't know. It's just this whole baby thing...I feel like it's happening too fast."
Jared nodded and replied, "She's only five months along, man. You still have four months to go."
"I know...I know...but there's another thing."
Jared raised his eyebrows and asked, "Well? What is it?"
"It's something stupid...just forget it." I sat down in the chair across from the couch, while Jared slumped back down. He groaned in frustration and said, "Justin, I'm here for you. Tell me what is bothering you!"
I slammed my coffee mug down and yelled, "Oh alright! I don't think I have feelings for Grace as much as I thought I did."
Jared opened his mouth and then closed it again. "Well...that's pathetic."
I threw a pillow at Jared and said, "You're the one that wanted to know!"
Jared sat up and looked at me. "Why are you saying that, Justin? Just a month ago, she was all you ever talked about!"
"She's...getting..." I didn't get to finish because Jared chucked the pillow back at me. "What the hell, Jared?!"
He stood up and towered over me. "Don't even say you don't love her anymore because she's getting bigger."
I also stood up and stated, "I was going to say fatter, but it's whatever."
Jared pushed me and made me fall back in the chair. "You are awful! She's carrying your son, Justin! You've always wanted a boy!"
"I know...but when Crystal had my daughter she didn't get that big."
Jared rolled her eyes and stated, "Crystal didn't get very big because she was on drugs and had your daughter premature! Grace is actually taking care of this baby. Open your eyes, Justin, you're lucky to have a girl like Grace!"
I sighed. Jared was right...I hated admitting that, but he was
right. "What if I can't provide for her or the baby?"
"Have a little faith, Justin. Dang...don't give up before your baby's even born."
Jared sat back down and turned the tv back on. 'Guntucky' had gone off and now 'COPS' was on.
I got up and poured my coffee down the drain. Right now, I was in the mood for alcohol...and lots of it. I grabbed my jacket and keys and headed for the door.
"Where are you going?" Jared looked at me quizzically.
I shrugged my shoulders and replied, "I just need to clear my head."
Before the door shut, I heard my brother holler, "Alcohol isn't going to clear your head!"
In this situation, it was going to be.
I found a bar that I had never been to and decided to see what's it like. It was called The Legacy and when I walked in, I wanted to walk back out.
Loud rap music was blaring through the speakers and everyone stared at me as I sat down. The bartender, Nick, came over and asked, "What can I getcha, stranger?"
"Just get me a beer, please." I laid my head in my hands and started thinking about Grace. Her auburn hair, her blue eyes, her small-petite figure...everything about her was perfect.
Then, I started thinking about the baby. It could have the same blue eyes but have my dark-brown hair...I was so nervous.
Nick came back over with my beer, but wasn't focusing on me. I turned to see what...or who he was staring at and saw a skinny, black-haired, girl wearing a black halter top with black short-shorts.
I immediately recognized her as the girl that Grace was usually hanging out with: Roxy. She sat down beside me and ordered a margarita.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed her staring at me and, finally, I asked, "What are you looking at?"
"You don't look like much," she inferred.
I made eye contact with her and replied, "What do you mean?"
Nick came back over to the counter and sat her margarita down in front of her. He leaned forward and whispered something in her ear. I heard Roxy giggle and then she nodded her head.
When he was gone, she focused back on me. "You're Grace's babydaddy, right?"
I nodded and Roxy continued, "Thought so. You look like a
dead-beet to me."
Was this bitch really insulting me? "Look. I came here to think...not to get judged."
Roxy took a moment to drink her margarita but then stated, "Grace is my best friend. I don't want you slipping out on her. Justin, face it. You have a name at school, and it's not a good one. I doubt anyone has faith in you to help raise her child...I just wish you would prove them wrong."
I took a long swig of my beer and then stared at Roxy. "Who are you to judge me, bitch? From what I hear, you have a pretty rough past yourself. How many times have you been kicked out of school?"
My comment shocked Roxy...I could tell. She ran her finger around the rim of her glass and murmured, "People talk about me?"
Now that I started, I had to finish. I had to make her feel bad. "Oh yeah. All the time! You're the girl that brought the snake, you're the girl that watched her boyfriend get arrested...blah blah blah."
Tears started forming in her eyes when she asked, "How do you know about Blade?"
I smiled and said, "I went to school with him. In fact, I'm pretty sure I had a few fights with the guy. Did you know he got the death sentence?"
Roxy gasped. She turned towards me and whispered, "That can't be true...it can't be. He didn't kill Teal...it was an accident."
"Well obviously the court didn't see in his favor. Your little boyfriend is suppose to die...next week."
Roxy stood up and tugged at the collar of my shirt. "How do you know all this!?"
I lurged up and planted a hard kiss on her lips. She let go of my shirt and recoiled, wiping at her mouth. Nick evidently had a thing for Roxy, and I didn't want to get in a fight, so I grabbed Roxy by her hair and pulled her outside.
She kicked me all the way out, but when we reached the parking lot, she stopped. "Listen. You wanna know how I know about Blade? I've been in jail with him before! He's been in there all his life...I was in there before I came here and met Grace! He told me, himself, he was going to die."
Roxy was shaking, I guess from my violence, but I didn't mind...I prefered it. I continued, "Now, here's where you need to pay attention, darling. You're not going to tell Gracie about this run-in with me, alright? You're not going to tell her how I insulted you, kissed you, pulled your hair, or anything, got it?"
She gained some of her composure and said, "What are you going to do if I tell her?"
I stroked the side of her face, making her cringe, and whispered, "You don't want to find out, Love. Now, get out of here."
"I...I have to pay for my drink." She started walking towards the doors, but I blocked her.
"Don't you worry about it. I'll cover you...it can be a gift. You don't have to thank me." I turned back towards the parking lot and shoved her.
She turned her head around, but gave up. She walked out to the sidewalk and away from the bar.
Smiling, I walked back in the bar and sat down in front of my beer. Nick came over to me and asked, "Hey stranger, did you see where the black-headed girl sitting beside you went?"
I shook my head and replied, "Must've snuck out."