I sat in the bed with Matt for over an hour. His mom had come in a few times to 'check up on him', but other than that we had been alone. He explained me that he didn't want people to know, at school, that he had cancer. His exact words were, "I don't want the school to throw a pity party for me."
The clock on the wall showed it was going on six and I remembered that Justin was still waiting for me. I sighed and looked up at Matthew's face. After awhile, he noticed my staring and looked down at me. "What is it, Gracie?"
"I have to go..." My eyes started forming new tears and I tried to hold them back, but Matt had already noticed them.
He leaned his head against mine and said, "No ma'am. No tears allowed."
I tried to smile, but it didn't work. I said, "Matt, I don't want to leave you..ever." I stood up from the bed and waited for Matt to scoot back into his original position.
Instead, he leaned over cupped my face with his hands. "Gracie, now that you know where I am, you can come back whenever you want!" he was beaming, but tears were still falling down my face.
"Yeah...I know, but seeing you in here...like this...I can't bear it."
He stroked my cheek with his thumb and replied, "I'll be fine as long as you stay strong...for both of us." That cheered me up and so I hugged Matt, once more, and then began to walk out.
"Oh and Grace?"
I turned back around to face Matt and replied, "Yeah?"
His expression gave the impression he was having a hard time saying this, but he stated, "I need you to promise me that you won't tell anybody this...I mean nobody."
I walked back into the room and held out my pinky. "I pinky swear, Matt. No one will know." We interlocked our pinkys and then I left.
While walking back through the cold hallway, my mind wandered the thought that one person does know: Justin. I don't really think it matters that he know, but that automatically breaks our promise.
I arrived back into the waiting room and saw that Justin was passed out in a chair in the corner. I made my way over there and, gently, tapped him on the shoulder.
He jumped and opened his eyes. "Are you ready, babe?"
I nodded and replied, "Yeah..um, Justin...can you make me a promise?"
Justin raised an eyebrow and nodded. "What is it, babe?"
I crossed my arms and looked him right in the eye. "You have to promise me not to tell anyone Matt's here. I mean nobody. Can you do that?"
He smiled and replied, "Of course. Anything for you, Love."
Leaving the parking lot, I stopped walking and stood at the sign we saw earlier. Never in a million years, would I think that my bestfriend would be admitted in a cancer center!
The tears started coming again and Justin turned around right at that time. "Hey are you c..Grace?"
He rushed over to me and wrapped his arms around me. I wrapped my arms around him and began crying even harder.
"Do you need me to drive?" He asked calmly.
Before this day, I would've said no to anything Justin asked me. But, now, I really needed him.
I nodded and handed him my car keys. He took the keys in one hand and had the other still wrapped around my waist. "C'mon."
Justin drove much faster than me, and I watched the other cars and buildings fly by us. He kept glancing over at me with a worried expression and finally I said,
"I'm okay now, Justin."
He looked over at me and tried to grin, but I could still see the worry in his face. "I don't believe you, babe."
"You're right...I'm not ok. It'll take some time..."
Justin rested his hand on my knee and waited for me to tell him to move it...but, surprisingly, I didn't. I liked knowing he was there...I liked his touch.
He pulled into a gravel driveway and in front of it was a light blue double wide with a white screen door. "Alright," he said, "Can you make it to your house alright?"
I don't know what was wrong with me, but I replied, "Actually...I was wondering if I could come in a bit? I just need to fix my face..."
Justin looked at me like he completely understood my motives. "Yeah. Of course, you can come in, babe."
He helped me out of the car and walked me up the front steps. Then, we walked through the door, he shut it behind him and locked it. Before today, I would've flipped out about this...but I was glad he did.
"Do you live alone?" The question sounded stupid, seeing how there was nobody else there, but Justin didn't seem to care.
He replied, "Yeah. My parents kicked me out when I was 16. So, I started stealing and re-selling and bought this place...it may look shabby but I have no house payment."
I began walking around his house, looking at his pictures on his walls...when I noticed a certain one. It was a photo of a little girl, maybe about 1, with cake on her face. She had the same hair as Justin and same eyes.
"Is this your daughter?"
Justin came closer to me and said, "Yeah. Her name's Melissa...that was on her first birthday. I didn't get to go but her mom was nice enough to send that picture."
I could feel Justin's breath on my neck and smell his scent. He smelled woodsy mixed with coffee and I got chills from how close he was. However, I didn't want him to move away. I took a step back and pressed myself into his chest.
He ran his hands up my sides and moved my hair away from my neck. His lips barely touch my skin, but it sent a sensation I'd never had before. I rested my head in the crook of his neck and that was his cue to start kissing me.
He slammed his lips into my neck, hard and passionate, and quickly ran them up and down. He, then, turned me around and locked our lips together, waiting for me to kiss back. I felt his tongue try to enter my mouth and allowed it.
Of course, I had french-kissed a guy before, but french-kissing a guy with a tongue ring was new to me. I ran my tongue over it again and again and heard a moan escape from his lips.
He pushed me up against the wall and started kissing me harder. I tangled my hands into his hair while his lips moved down my throat and to my chest.
I manuevered my hands down to the seam of his shirt and started lifting it up. He stopped kissing me and leaned up. "Are you sure you want to do this," he asked in a husky voice.
Still trying to get his shirt off, I simply replied, "We'll see."
That must've been enough for him because he brought his hands down at the seam and slipped his shirt off. He had gorgeous muscles and was almost completely tatted up. I ran my hands up, touching his abs, chest, then his shoulders.
It was my turn to remove some clothing. He, slowly, started lifting my shirt up and slipped it off with ease. He smiled when he looked down at my hot-pink bra again and then ran his hand over my tattoo.
"You need to get another one..." He whispered.
I smiled at him and replied, "Maybe I will. Would you come with me?" He had looped his arms around my waist and had one hand on the clasp of my bra.
It was nine o'clock when I started putting my clothes back on. Justin watched me from the couch and finally asked, "Do you really have to go? Stay the night."
All I had managed to put on was my bra and panties, and Ileaned down and planted a soft kiss on his lips. "I can't stay. I have to get home...my mom's probably worried sick."
He smiled up at me and said, "I wasn't expecting you to be a virgin, Gracie."
"Surprise, surprise. Now I'm not a goody-goody anymore, right?"
Justin's smile faded and he replied, "I never thought you were a goody-goody, Grace." His playful smile returned when he said, "I always knew there was some naughtiness in you."
I rolled my eyes, while he cracked up. "I have to leave."
He stood up and walked me to the door. I kissed goodnight several times and was about to walk out the door when he grabbed me by the beltloops.
"If you need anything...and I mean anything, you let me know. Alright, babe?"
I nodded. Justin kissed me one more time and then I left.
Driving back, I started thinking about the day. Everything was fine...I had a date with Logan, I was going to see Matthew...but then it turned completely opposite.
Matthew has lung cancer, and I was so upset that I let Justin take my virginity.
What had happened to me?!?