Chapter one xxx Damned Behavior

I could smell it even before his expert hands lit it up, the unexplainable, slightly sweet, slightly woody, aroma of cigarettes.

I’m not the type who likes drugs, I’m no straightedge but I’m no fan either, but here I was sitting on the bottom step of my back porch smoking with the most important guy in my life.

I begin to wonder but the smell of burning tobacco ‘And several other lethal chemicals!’ Added my little voice, overpowered my thoughts almost as soon as they began. His soft skin slides over mine as he passes me the lit cigarette. I’ve never smoked before so I just look at him expectantly. He assesses my face for a second then his husky smokers voice asks “You want me to show you?” I nod and hand it back to him, staring into the bloodshot molten chocolate pools that are his eyes. He places it in his mouth and lightly sucks, the ash on the tip glowing red. He takes another breath on top of the draw as he pulls the cigarette away from his dry lips then exhales a stream of white smoke. “Easy see?” he hands it back to me and I eye it warily. “breathe it into your lungs and try to hold it in as long as you can ok?” I nod again and slowly bring the orange filter to my lips, the smell of burning now stronger than ever. I open my mouth and suck in the dry smoke, coughing out a cloud of white as it burns down my throat.

“Try again.” Is all the gentle encouragement I need. I return the cigarette to my mouth, sucking in the creamy almost sweet smoke once again. This time my body holds onto the poisonous gasses, my mouth closing and the cigarette returning to Ashers hand.

It didn’t burn as much this time, just enough to know my taste and smell will never be the same, enough to probably have a sore throat in the morning and enough that my eyes are now watering. I give up my struggle to hold the smoke in my lungs and exhale a steady, swirling cloud of white smoke.

‘Not so bad after all.’ Says my little voice, ‘Can’t help but be a little disappointed though. So much for instant addiction, every cigarette will kill you, it’s the best feeling ever CRAP!’ it mutters. I roll my eyes and turn to watch Asher finish the cigarette.

His hands move gracefully as he flicks the ash from the end. The ashes spiral slowly down on the light breeze until they come to rest on the cold hard pavement. He brings it to his lips again and inhales, his arm dropping back down to rest on his thigh, white smoke twisting and floating from the cigarette. His lips pull back over his teeth as he slowly exhales, the smoke expertly curling up and over his top lip in a fountain movement before blowing away from his face and ascending into the atmosphere.

Is it possible for there to be such beauty in self destruction?

‘Surely such beauty would have taken practice.’

My voice was right. “Asher since when do you smoke?” His eyes flick to mine then away. “Since a while, well actually…” He pauses to prepare. “Since dad went to jail really.” He speaks innocently, like any child troubled over his fatherly role models actions, I figured.

I lean over and comfortingly place my arm across his shoulders. He jerks away from my touch. “Asher?” I gasp, wounded by his actions. He looks at the ground like a scolded child and whispers a quiet “Sorry.” I smile, he’s so adorable. “It’s ok Asher, but why did you pull away?” He looks up from the ground, his usually emotion filled eyes carefully contained, hiding his feelings. “Don’t worry about it Shawn.” His voice is still husky, my name sounding more like a purr than anything. He moves to stand in front of me and begins in a seductive voice. “Shawn…” He throws the used cigarette to the ground and stubs it out. “It’s a Saturday afternoon your parents are out and we don’t have school tomorrow. Hows about we do something…” he leans forward, his palm brushing my cheekbone as his hands find their way into my thick brown hair. “Fun.” He whispers suggestively. My stomach contracts and I suppress a moan. ‘Hehehe. You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for this.’ I shove my little voices comments to the back of my consciousness as Ashers lips press against mine, needing.

I breathe in a combination of Ashers enchanting scent and the dry smell of smoke, a delightful combination that, if bottled and sold, should be labeled ‘Bad’ or ‘Sexy’ or ‘Seduction’. His rough lips part against mine and his tongue gently licks my exposed skin, asking permission for entry. I part my lips in a gasp and let Ashers sweet, gentle tongue invade my mouth. He explores slowly first but then builds confidence and begins to push harder, exploring further and kissing deeper. His hand plays with my hair, pulling it to better expose my mouth or stroking it for God knows what reason. His other hand has found its way to my shoulder, gripping it to hold himself steady.

His tongue slides feather light over mine and the fingers of his hand in my hair curl against my neck. I shudder and he pulls away, staring at me. His unusually deep voice commands “Bed. NOW!” My stomach ignites in a slow, pleasant burning and tingling.

I stand up and allow Ashers strong grip to drag me inside, up the stairs and into my dark bedroom, the blinds already drawn. His lips find mine again in a desperate kiss, his tongue eager to explore my mouth another time. I burn to touch him, to feel his skin against mine. I reach forward and grab his hips, pulling them against mine. He shudders and breaks the kiss, moving his face away, eyes closed, letting out a soft moan.

I imagine him withering and moaning underneath me. His breathless words telling me to keep going, to not stop the pleasure we’re sharing.

His hand pushing against my chest halts my daydream and I obey his physical command, falling to the bed with a soft thud. He looks down at me, carefully analyzing my reaction as he leans over me and reaches forward, his skillful fingers undoing my belt and fly. My breath catches as his perfect little pale hand finds its way into my pants and slides against my extremely sensitive bulge. Finding what he’s looking for he grabs my erection and gently pulls it free of clothing, exposing it to his all to eager gaze.

He licks his dry lips and slides his hands over it, the way someone would do to a prized object, so lightly I can barely feel it. My eyes roll into the back of my skull and a cross between a shudder, a moan and a gasp escapes my body.

‘Oh my fucking God! Innocent little Asher is about to jack you off.’ Well no fucking der little voice.

He wraps his hand round ‘me’ and begins slowly sliding up and down the length. Every small movement builds the fire in my stomach until I can no longer think at all. Primal instincts drive my hand into his soft locks and my eyes manage to roll back out of my skull to focus on his face. His perfect little pink lips are pressed together, eyes focused and his forehead wrinkled in a frown, His absolutely adorable concentration face. I feel an overwhelming attraction to the gorgeous boy kneeling at my feet, attraction, passion and desire.

His hand builds speed and all the flooding pleasure escalates until I feel like it can’t possibly get better than this, but Asher, determined to prove me wrong, begins to softly moan my name and his free hand begins kneading the inside of my left thigh.

I feel like I’m about to explode the pressure is so fucking much. I try to hold it in but its too strong, I loose my grip and let go, cumming hard into Ashers hand. My mind soars on a complete euphoric high, my sensory system in overload, finally pushed over the edge by a beautiful boy. Asher’s pale face swims before my eyes and my body finally begins to register my heavy breathing and his slow last few jerks.

“Wow!” I choke out. He grins a naughty little smile and curls his tongue round one of his cum coated fingers. “Ewww! Tastes weird!” his expression changes to one of disgust and he turns his face away from his sticky hand. “Not a bad taste, I just didn’t expect it to be like that!” I giggle at him with his cute little tongue poking out and his eyes screwed up. I still feel all good inside. “Well Asher, how about I make you something that tastes better? How’s dinner sound?” I watch his ears perk up at the word dinner. “Oh really?” his eyes light up and he jumps to his feet, catapulting himself out the door. ‘Guess he’s excited then.’ I hear a thump and a muffled “Yesh please Shawn!” from somewhere downstairs.

I let out a quiet laugh and make my way from my room, down the stairs three at a time, through the ocean blue archway and finally into the kitchen. I walk around the black and white granite top bench, watching it sparkle, and into the cooking area. I grab an apron from the oven handle and open the fridge door in one move. Cataloguing the content of the fridge shelves I try to think of the perfect romantic meal to cook. ‘Steak?’ Nope. ‘Marinated fish?’ Nope. I pull on the black apron and reach behind me to tie it. ‘Gourmet Italian pizza?’ Hmm, not quite. ‘Oh I know! Lady and the Tramp styled Italian pasta!’ Ah well done little voice.

I grab the tomatoes, bacon and cream from the fridge and the olive oil and herbs from the pantry. I find a chopping board, knife and a fry pan which I begin heating on the stove with some olive oil.

So by saying this is a lady and the trap meal are you implying that either of he or I are a tramp? I begin dicing the tomatoes.

‘S’pose I am.’ Came the smug reply.

I smirk, I’m curious, who’s the lady and who’s the tramp?

‘Well no offence Shawn but Ashers the lady of course. He’s feminine and presentable where as your just a…’ I throw the tomatoes into the fry pan and pull out a pot for the pasta. ‘You’re a bogan. Flannelette shirt, frilly black apron, purple slippers and all!’

I let out a soft laugh at my little voices antics and continue with the domestic task at hand.

I finish simmering the sauce, turning off the stove I bring it to the bench and adding it to the two steaming bowls of pasta. I rip off the apron and grab the bowls and cutlery moving them to the correct spots on the table. Flicking a lighter out of my pocket I light the two candles on the centerpiece of the table. The dancing flames create an orange glow that makes this scene so much more intimate. I glance over my work, perfect, I smile. I dart over to the light switch and turn it off as I call out “Dinners ready my beautiful Asher.” I pause, hearing no movement I turn around and almost die of shock when I see Asher sitting in his chair at the table waiting for me. He see’s my expression and giggles, gesturing to my seat.

Once I begin to breathe normally again I join him at the table and we both begin eating. The food reaches my mouth automatically as I’m engrossed in the beautiful sight in front of me. Ashers daydreaming as he eats, his eyes have a far away, sky blue, look and he chews absentmindedly. The candlelight adds a yellow glow to his pale skin bringing out his tiny gold freckles sprinkling his nose and cheeks. The light also adds an eyeliner effect, darkening his eye lids and defining his eyes. I don’t even notice my chewing and swallowing anymore, Asher takes up all my attention as he rightfully should.

He looks me in the eyes, realizing I’ve been staring, and he smiles. His face lights up like never before, his perfect white teeth glowing and a truly happy look in his eyes. I haven’t seen a smile even anywhere close to this since the day I met him. A beautiful real smile from Asher is rare but forceful, it makes my heart thump harder just thinking about it. “Thank you Shawn this has been the best night of my life ever.” He looks down at his bowl and picks up the last fork full of pasta placing it in his mouth with a muffled “Yum!”

Standing up and smiling at him I take our bowls back into the kitchen and lean down, putting them in the bottom tray of my shiny silver dishwasher. ‘Bahahaha!’

Oh! What’s so funny little voice?

‘Asher’s staring at your ass!’

Yeah, that’s to be expected from a boyfriend so why is that so funny?

‘It’s funny because you don’t know what he’s thinking.’ Comes the reply mingled with gasps and laughter. “I have to admit it Shawn, you looked sexy in your mum’s apron, frills suit you.” Asher says all too seriously. I laugh, so that’s what he was thinking, well I’ll get him back.

I stand up and slide my arm round his waist. “Asher…” I whisper seductively, leading him back out through the archway, blowing out the candles as we pass them. “it’s a Saturday night, my parents are out and we don’t have school tomorrow. How about we do something…” I lead him up the stairs to my bedroom door, opening it and gently nudging Asher’s slightly shock-frozen form inside. I close the door behind us and quickly remove all my clothes, save for my boxers. “… Something sleep related.” I finish, watching Asher blink and twitch. ‘I guess he wouldn’t have consented to sex anyway so sleeps probably better, unless you’re the kind of guy that enjoys anal raping your boyfriend.’ My voice says in a teasingly smart way. I ignore it and jump onto my bed, sliding under the covers. “Come on Asher, calm down already. It was just a lame joke.” Lame joke or not it still had me thinking about what we did last in this bedroom, on this bed, I shudder.

After a little bit of rustling and moving about in the dark, Ashers cold body slides under the sheets beside me. I wrap one arm round his waist and slide against his side, draping my other arm over his perfect flat stomach. Hearing his quiet sigh and feeling him cuddle closer, wrapping his hand round a lock of my hair and stroking it like always, I know he is falling asleep and fast but somehow I can’t stop thinking of the handjob.

He and I had never really tried anything sexual before but for him to suddenly be seductive and to come onto me like that was and still is an utter turn on. What confuses me most though is why he suddenly did it, without warning and especially after he jumped away from me right before. I can’t really think of an explanation. I stifle a yawn then drop my arm back into place on his stomach, gripping his hip lightly. Maybe I just scared him when I hugged him? Yeah! Maybe that’s it and I’m just getting worried over nothing. Aside from all this it was still the perfect afternoon though.

My mind now at ease begins to slowly drift to sleep. My breathing slows and my sub-consciousness prepares to take over. Everything’s quiet and I feel myself slipping into sleeps grasp when a sound jolts me awake. Everything’s piercingly quiet again, that horror filled moment where you don’t know what you just heard or if you where imagining it, then a soft choking whimper breaks the noisy silence. I try to remember the sound, I’ve heard it before but I can’t quite… Asher takes a shaky breath underneath my arm and I suddenly remember. It’s the sound of Asher sobbing.