Chapter 1 Moving       

        I closed my eyes as I tried to imagine what life would be like without my mother. For some reason I disliked how I was leaving to another state. I really didn’t want to go, although I was curious how Washington looked like. There I sat on a taxi ready to leave to Baltimore, Washington. My mom tapped my shoulder softly. I quickly opened my eyes and turned to her. She gave me that nervous look as always. “Sunny, do you think this is a good idea to leave to Washington?” I lied, “Of course.” Right now we were in San Luis, California.  “Sunny, I’m really nervous. What if… John doesn’t like me?” I sighed, “Mom, he won’t. Don’t worry too much.”           

        Just to remind you, my parents are divorced. My dad lived in Marbleton Wyoming. I loved living in California. It was the sunniest place you could ever be in. I heard that Washington was a wet and humid place. This made me sick to my stomach. This was the only reason I wanted to stay in California. I hated the rain, my make up would get all messed up and I’d get all wet.

            My long black bangs fell over my eyes and I stared down at my black skirt as I saw the taxi driver look towards us. I hated people staring at me in the eyes. I always looked away when someone talked to me. Now, it’s just a habit of mine. People used to look at me like I was evil because I used to wear black every time. I loved wearing black it was like I was gothic or something. Now, I’ve changed a lot. I wore some pink too. I thought this would keep some eyes off of me. It actually helped, I never thought it would, but it did. I was really different from the other people in California. Most of the people there wore tube tops and tang tops and all. I just hated how they dressed. Most of the people in California called me emo. I didn’t agree with their arguments of me being emo. I didn’t hate life. I loved it the way it was. I just didn’t like to talk about life. I was unsociable that’s all.  

             A low, but deep voice interrupted the silence in the taxi, “Um, mam…… where would you like me to take you?” My mom’s soft voice replied, “Can you please take us to San Luis Obispo Airport?”” The taxi driver nodded and responded, “My pleasure.” As he looked away, I stared at the back of his head. He closed the door and began to drive. My mom sat there frozen with shock. She was always shocked when she was nervous. My black nails gently touched her hand. “Mom, don’t worry. John won’t hate you, he loves you.” She turned to stare into my eyes. I tried to keep her gaze away from mine, but something in her made me freeze. 

            “Sunny, I have to tell you something about John that you don’t know yet.” I stared back at her in confusion. “Sunny, John has children.” My mouth dropped open and I was frozen with surprise. “Are you kidding me?” She explained, “John was divorced also. I was tending to tell you, but things just got out of hand.” I stared back at her with shock and anger. “MOM, I never knew that you’d do this to me! I thought you’d tell me everything. You didn’t have to hide this from me. I mean, I’m serious.”                                                                      

            My mom whispered, “I knew it…..” She sounded as if she was talking to herself. “Mom, I’m not mad at you,” I lied once more, “I’m just curious why you didn’t tell me earlier.” She spoke up, “I’m sorry, I was just nervous and worried that you’d stay in California. I thought you’d hate to come to Washington If I told you. You know…. I love you so much, Sunny. I couldn’t just leave you here in California by yourself.” Suddenly, all my anger had gone away and I just felt sympathy. I was content that my mother thought of me this much.       

                   After a while, everything got silent again. I was so bored that I had no choice, but to play around with my black and pink bracelets. I snapped them against my wrist. I soon got irritated with the silence. I took out my black ipod from my black backpack. My headphones were pink. Those were my two favorite colors in the world. Pink and Black. See, I had every single thing of mine pink or black. Including my notebooks and pencils.  

                    I stuck the headphones in my ears and I listened to take care by a change of pace. I loved this song so much. This song was so fucking addicting. I had no choice, but to listen to this song over and over again. My music was blasting out loud. My mom noticed the music and made a gesture for me to lower the volume. I nodded my head and lowered the volume.            

               I lip-synched to the music as I shook my head. My mom just laughed as she saw me. The taxi driver snickered with a smile peeking up his mouth. I ignored them both and went on with my music. I loved acting like a rock star. It was actually interesting and exciting. I remembered I used to mimic rock stars on TV when I was young. I’d go up in front of the mirror with a black brush and act like I was a rock star. I’d use the black brush as a microphone and I’d act like I was singing. It was actually hilarious.     

                        Abruptly the taxi driver stopped. I looked up to see that I was already at the airport. I sighed out loud, “We’re finally here. This is going to take a while.” I knew that I was going to stay on the plane for 6 hours. I was going to get irritated and suffocated on the plane. I was going to reach Baltimore Washington International Airport in 6 hours. I stepped out of the taxi as I opened the door. My ipod was still in my hands as I looked up at the enormous airport. I felt so short looking up at the airport. I was only 5’2 and I didn’t wear any high heels. I wore converse shoes . The colors were pink and bluish. The only thing I didn’t have that was black was my converse.                                     

                  As I stepped out to close the door I saw how life was going to change after I stepped into that door. Right then, I knew that I had a choice of whether leaving to Washington or to stay here in California. My decisions would affect my future. I walked towards my fate as I stepped towards the huge airport.