"Ali, You have great eyes," Brad whispers in my ear. A smile spreads across my face.
"Thanks," I whisper back. I traced my hand along his tattooed arm; he plays with a strand of my hair.
"Ali I love..."
"Allison McNally open this door right now!"
My eyes flipped open at the sudden knock at my door. A dream, I sighed. I lifted my head away from the magazine I had fallen asleep on. It's been two months since Bradley Connor dumped me; two months and I'm still not over him. Maybe I have some kind of memory disorder that doesn't let me forget things that are better forgotten. The door suddenly burst open with a crashing noise; I stared at the large dent on my door.
"You've been working out haven't you?" I asked with a slight grin. Madeline stood near the door looking disappointed. She's had that expression ever since I decided to lock myself in my room refusing to communicate with the outer world (i.e. the world outside my window). Can't a girl have some time to mourn?
"It's been two months," Madeline pointed out. Did she just read my mind?
I looked away from my magazine and met her eyes. She wore a White sleeveless dress with high heels. Her strawberry blonde hair tied up in a bundle, a strand of her hair fell onto her eyes. She brushed it away tucking it neatly beneath her ear.
"Mandy it's hard," I told her "haven't you ever been dumped?"
She thought a bit and answered in a soft tone,
"You weren't dumped Ali, he cheated on you. It's his loss you deserve better,"
I shut my eyes and told her I didn't want to talk about it. She sighed and handed me another magazine.
"What's this?" I asked.
"It's about break ups," she explained, "it might help,"
I took it without the usual sarcasm. Maybe she'd stop bugging me if I took it. I flipped through the pages paying a pitiful amount of attention. Mandy decided to give it a rest and started walking towards the door. She stopped abruptly and turned to look at me. I concentrated on the magazine, or at least I pretended to; I don't think she bought it.
"And Ali, don't forget to pack your things we leave on Monday," she reminded me.
Ah, the one thing I was actually hoping for. My sister Madeline and I have been living together, here in Sand Diego for almost a year. I couldn't get myself to admit that I'd miss the place because I wouldn't. San Diego had brought me memories that I hope I'd forget one day, not because they were sad but because I was better off without them. If they were left to linger in my mind I'd probably do things one cannot imagine. I would be led to Violence. And in the end I'd be left with nothing but misery and regret. I wasn't ready to take that chance.
So, maybe it was because of this haunting thought or because I was simply bored, I began reading the first article that caught my attention.
A relationship in which either one involved had been unfaithful or dishonest to each other can be considered 'a bad relationship'. It is not easy to get over such relationships in which you realize you had already fallen in love. But unrequited love can give you nothing but experience. Experience that will make you stronger and wiser in your choice in the next relationship that you may get yourself into. So, it is better to hope for the future then wander in the past.
Easy for you to say, I thought. I lost my interest in this article and I turned the page. The next article was about getting over break ups. I really didn't want to go there but I thought 'what the heck? I got nothin' more to lose'
Getting it over and done with
Break ups maybe hard but getting over them is harder. But you can't cry over spilt milk. So, to help young teens with their unfortunate love lives we have gathered a few steps that may help you get over a past love.
- You may like it or not but its high time you get out of your bed and start exploring the world outside your window.
- Keeping a thousand of his/her texts and weeping over them is not going to help. So start deleting.
- Anything that reminds you of your lover must be burned and flushed down the toilet (you may also send them to charity).
- Start over.
I blinked twice, No freaking way am I doing this. A teeny voice inside my head (or was it my heart?) kept saying, Allison you have to do this. I decided to follow the teeny voice because I knew following your conscience might actually get me somewhere.
With trembling fingers I reached for the scissors. Opening a small cupboard inside a table I carried a bundle of photos. As if they were precious Jewels I placed each of them carefully scattered on my bed.
"Ali, love you babe,"
His voice chimed in my head like wedding bells. All the pleasant and unpleasant memories poured in together making me nauseas.
"I always wanna be with you,"
I winced, closing my eyes and letting the pain guide me to places I tried a million times to forget.
I hated myself for not being able to hate him. After all he's done to me I just wish he'd kneel down and say sorry. Hell, I just wish he'd come back and I'd do all the kneeling and begging. Even if I ever got a chance to hurt him like the way he did to me I don't think I'd take it. I wanted to escape from all this depression and stress, and I was prepared to do anything.
I assumed this would be better then feeling nothing at all. I picked up all the photos and headed towards the bathroom. On the way I took my favourite pink lighter, with a hello kitty title, imprinted in pink letters, on it. I kicked open the toilet cover and stroked the lighter. I let out the breath I had been holding. I can do this, I chanted.
"Ali, you like me right?" he asked when we were on our first date.
I tightened my hold on the lighter and brought the flame towards the picture.
"Yeah I like you. A lot," I answered.
Tears began rolling down my cheeks. Its gonna be alright.
"Forever," he whispered when we danced at the prom.
This sounded so easy, I thought; my eyes were unable to open. I didn't want to see him burn into ashes.
"Ali, it's just... I don't love you anymore," he told me that day. "I never did"
I watched as he walked away leaving me drenched in the rain.
"Ouch," I yelled. The picture was already burned with an inch of my finger. Brads eyes were no more. All that was left of him were grey ashes. I suddenly began laughing. I gleamed with joy while I burned the rest of the pictures.
I picked up the last one.
This one was from the time we went to visit his aunt on the mountains. He looked magnificent in his woollen scarf that I had hand knitted for him. His arm was around a girl I no longer knew. I didn't pretend to be happy in that photo. It was a smile that only he could bring. I was grateful, though. For all the wonderful moments we had shared even though only I thought it was special. Even though he never saw the fireworks between us. Even though, he never felt a hundred butterflies in his tummy. Even though...
I flushed all the ashes down the toilet. I took out my phone and found the number 'Brad<3' on my phone.
I scrolled down.
What was I even thinking?
Next, was deleting his texts.
Even though all of this was easy to say it took me almost a life time to get it done. Not that I regretted deleting all his messages but because practically my whole inbox felt empty without him. The awesome part was I felt good. Really good. I took a glance at the clock; it was 5 mins to midnight. All the excitement I felt wouldn't dry off any time soon, so I stepped out of my room. It felt fresh, it felt new. I forgot there was another world outside my room; outside my bed. I took a step down the stair case and felt silly. This isn't me. I touched the rail and sat on it with both my legs tucked one over the other. I slid down and felt the little thrill of the wind embracing me.
I slowly, gracefully, walked towards the kitchen. It smelt like burnt toast and waffles. I guess my absence led my sister to actually cook. She was such a bad house keeper. Mom was bad at it, too. I was more like my father. I spoke without putting much thought into it. Did the things I felt right, even though they were completely stupid. And I was selfcentered. If I'd thought a bit more I wouldn't have locked myself in and let the poor girl fend for herself. Even though it was high time she did. She was 24 for crying out aloud. When Madeline got a job in San Diego as a secretary for some stuck up Business manager she invited me to come along. It was all cool then. Me, an innocent little 16 year old who barely knew the world. After I met Brad things changed, in a good way I guess. He showed me around, even though I knew all he wanted was to get into my pants.
I gently opened the freezer and my hands reached in. I searched for a container. When I found it I hastily pulled it out. Butter scotch ice cream, my favourite. The container was freezing cold with bits of ice sticking at the corners. I grabbed a spoon and my coffee cup. I scooped a whole spoon and dropped it in the cup.
Who eats ice cream in a coffee cup?
I licked the spoon and a bunch of nuts flavoured in my mouth. I didn't have to worry about my weight; after the 'Brad incident' I barely ate. I sat on the blue tiled kitchen floor and probably fell asleep there. The butter scotch flavour still lingering in my mouth.
I finally even had a dream without Brad sticking his tongue down my throat.
It was time to move on.
And, best of all, out of all the shit that life's been throwing at me trying to break my walls; I think It's all gonna be okay.
Authors note: okay, tell me if the font is too small because i think its too small, do you? Yes, i know this is a LOong chapter but I'm hoping you'll Like it anyway. Next chap we'll see how baddie Leam handles his break up. Oops, don't wanna give anything away. And hopefully you guys will be interested in reading the next chapter -gulps- i mean, thats totally upto you. If you don't wanna, I totally get it. I'll just go eat a banana or two and I'll be totally over it... i talk too much? okie.. see you.... at the next chapter.... I hope.