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Hey :D let me know what you think, all comments are welcome. Thank you
KEnglish x
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How had my life ended up like this? I used to be happy ad I used to love life, but now… I didn’t even see the point in getting up in the morning. My life wasn’t worth anything to anyone. I was alone and would be forever, I wanted to end it.
I was sat on my toilet in my bath room with a razor blade in my hand.I was going to do it, I was going to end it, but before I did I wanted to try and remember some of the things that actually went right in my life, and when I was happy. But every time I’d think I had thought of a happy memory, it would end badly.
I remember one night when I was 9 and I had gone to the cinema with my mum and we had a really good time. When we got out of the car when we got home I ran inside and ran around looking for my dad. I wanted to tell him all about the film and how much fun I had had, but he wasn’t there. I went into the kitchen again to ask mum what was going on, and I found her sat on the floor lying against one of the table legs. She was sobbing and tears were flowing uncontrollably down her face.I ran over to her to find out what was wrong when I saw the note clutched in her hand. I took it from her and looked at it. It was a note from my dad.
I can do this anymore; tell Lacey I’m sorry and that I will always love her, no matter where I am. I wish I could have stayed and we could have worked everything out, but I’m not happy here and I can’t take it anymore.
I have left some money on the table for the two of you, and my ring for you do as you please. I’m sorry.
Goodbye, Dad x
That was the story of my life, when something good happened or if I was happy for even a minute, then something bad was going to happen. Whether it was my best and only friend moving away after we had promised that we would go to college together. Or the fire that destroyed everything I had after moving into my first apartment. Or breaking my leg after I was made football captain at school.
And my life had only got worse, it seemed the older I got the worse the bad things became. My mum had cancer and lived with her fiancée, who happened to hate me because of my bad luck, and the doctors didn’t know whether or not she would make it. I had to move out of my apartment because they we destroying the building to make room for a shopping mall. My boyfriend, who I was supposedly going slow with, had dumped me after I found him I bed with my next door neighbour.
My life wasn’t worth living, it would be better for everyone when I was gone. The only person who would miss me would be my mum, but then I think she kind of hated me because of all the bad things that happened around me.
I had called my mum 20 minutes ago to tell her I was sorry and that I loved her. She was confused and got upset at the end when I said goodbye to her, so I hung up before she could talk me out of it. I had made up my mind and that was that.
I got off the toilet and sat on the floor with my back against the bathtub. I had put on a tank top so as my arms weren’t covered for where I was going to cut myself.
I took a deep breath and pulled the blade against my wrist. It stung so much but I had to do the same to my other arm, so I gripped the blade with my other hand that blood was running down and cut.
I had cut so deeply that blood was pouring out of my wrists and pooling around me. The blade dropped from my hand and fell against the white tile floor. Everything was becoming blurry and I knew that I would pass out soon.
I wished that my life was different and that I had the courage to go on, but I don’t. I heard my apartment door being forced open, but before I could find out who it was the darkness took me.
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