I walked aimlessly around for hours until it started to get dark and I knew I had no choice but to go home. He would be even madder if I didn’t go home, and I couldn’t bear that. Ever since my mum had died my dad sort of died anyway. At least that was the way I like to think of it, it was better if I imagined that my dad had died with my mum and this new dad was a stranger.
My dad didn’t love me anymore, he couldn’t love. He was just angry, all the time, sometimes worse than others.
Once last year I hadn’t gone home and slept at one of my ‘friends’ houses and he had come looking for he. He was furious, he was worse than he usually was and that night he had threatened to kill me if I ever did it again.
Not that he was much different every other day, but I didn’t want to die yet, I still had half a year that I wanted to live so I could be around Mr Davis. It may sound pathetic but he literally was what I lived for.
When I got home I saw that my dad’s car wasn’t there, which meant that he wasn’t home yet. I opened the front door and ran into the kitchen. I grabbed some food and then ran upstairs and into my room and closed my door behind me.
I grabbed my school bag and went to my desk. I did all of my English homework and left everything else, it wasn’t as if my teachers were expecting me to do it anyway.
I had just finished eating a chocolate bar when I heard the front door open. I waited to hear if the door was slammed shut or not, and it was.
I jumped up and pushed everything off my bed, I stood on the other side of my bed, the farthest from my door and waited.
I could hear my dad’s pounding footsteps; one, two, three...
I stood still rooted to the floor, I wanted to run but I knew I wouldn’t do any good.
My door flew open, and my dad stood in the doorway.
“What are you doing up here all by yourself?” He shouted at me. “You better not have a boy up here with you hiding somewhere.” He stepped in the room and slammed the door closed behind him.
“No dad, there isn’t anyone here with me, please don’t be mad.”
He laughed at me and walked towards my closet that had mall holes that someone could look through.
“There’s probably some boy in there who you’ve just fucked! Well darling, do you think he will like what he will see in a moment? Do you think he will like the show?”
He strode over to me, grabbed my arms and threw me on the bed. “Please don’t” I pleaded.
“I’m sure he will like watching a whore like you getting fucked!”
He jumped onto of me and grabbed the bottom of my t-shirt and managed to get it over my head.
I tried to get him off me but he was strong, and just like normal, I could do nothing but sit lay there and let him do want he wanted.
I took my arms from his chest and put them by my sides. I looked away towards the window, while he raped me.
I tried to imagine that it wasn’t happening and sometimes it worked, but when I woke up in the mornings I could see all the bruises that he gave me the night before.
When he was finished he rolled off me, picked up all of his clothes and walked out of my room, closing the door behind me.
I curled up in a fatal position and clutched my arms around myself. I felt like my body was falling into pieces and I had to hold them together. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.
I was living in hell and my only escape would be death. As soon as school finished I would have nothing else to live for, and I would finally be able to end it, and join my mum.
When I woke up in the morning I showered and tried to wash away the trance my dad had left on me. But like every other day it didn’t work. He made me feel dirty and used. Thankfully I didn’t need to try and sneak out because my dad had already left for work.
I grabbed a cereal bar and my school bag and walked to school.
While I was walking to school John drove up beside me. I think he was expecting me to stop walking but I just carried on like he wasn’t even there.
“Do you want a lift to school?” He asked with a smirk on his face.
I tried to ignore him but he just kept asking me, so in the end I stopped walking and faced him.
“No John I don’t want a lift now or ever.”
“Aww babe, come on, I won’t bite.”
I flinched at his comment thinking of last night when my dad had bitten me on the neck, thankfully though I was wearing a scarf so he couldn’t see it.
“John I don’t like you, so please, just leave me alone.” I pleaded with him; my bitchiness had disappeared in my effort to persuade him to leave me alone.
He seem startled by my change in attitude,” S-sure, see you in school Annabelle.” Then he drove off.
I carried on walking until I got to the school gates when stopped and considered not going. My life was coming towards an end, no matter what if it was my father who ended it or if it was myself.
I must have been stood just outside the gate for at least 10 minutes when someone interrupted my silent thoughts.
“Belle? Are you coming in?”
I looked around and saw the one person who made me feel like it was worth going to school. Mr Davis was stood behind me with his bag over his shoulder.
“Yeah sorry,” I smiled and then I realised that he was stood outside with me, instead of in his class. “What are you doing out here, running late or planning on ditching like I was?” I joked. I couldn’t help but be happier whenever I saw him.
He laughed and walked over to me, “Well, my car decided to stop working on my way this morning, but I don’t actually have any lessons apart from yours today anyway, so it’s not a big deal.”
“Oh, okay. Well I’m sorry about your car anyway. I suppose we better go in.”
“Sure come on” He walked beside me as we went to school. I had science which was on the other side of school to English, so when we got the stairs we stopped and turned towards each other.
“I guess I will see you later in English then Sir”
“Yeah, see you then Annabelle.” I went to turn around but Mr Davis touched my arm. I flinched away from him because he had touched me on a bruise my dad had given me last night. I rubbed my arm where he had touched me. “Are you alright Belle? Wait- what’s wrong with your arm?” He asked me.
“Nothing just leave it, I’ll see you in English.” With that I ran upstairs, away from Mr Davis.
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