My Mixed Emotions*

Chapter Fifteen

The only thing gentle about the kiss was the initial touch of our lips, but after that, it was practically ravenous. Kissing nothing like Liam, Kellan devoured my lips in all the best ways possible, not bothering to ask for entrance into my mouth, letting our tongues slide across each other’s furiously. His hands tangled angrily into my hair as he glued himself to me, almost refusing to let any air between us. And I could only respond. I let my hands travel up and down his chest, loving the feel of his fit and chiseled body beneath my nimble fingers.  If he hadn’t of been holding me, I knew I would have fallen from my now weakened knees. I was completely enjoying myself, though I knew I shouldn’t have been, but my thoughts weren’t exactly in order at that particular moment.

I could have sworn Kellan was completely enjoying himself as well, but as soon I a moaned into him, he tore away from me, breathing heavily and looking as if he had just something very wrong. Without saying another word, he ran off, towards the direction of the door. I was still with shock. What the hell? I thought, not knowing if I should be filled with bliss or fury. I ran after him, calling after him. Damned me and my short legs, I didn’t catch up to him until he was already about to get into his car.

“Hey!” I yelled, running around to the other side so I could face him. He tried to open his door, completely avoiding from looking me in the face, but I threw my angered fist at it, putting it right back closed. Kellan made a frustrated groan and finally looked at me, looking as pissed as I felt.

“What?!” He yelled, making me flinch a little, but I quickly shook it off and went back to trying to question him. I kept my left hand against the freezing cold door and my right hand balled up into a fist, resting it against my hip. If I had been in another situation, I would have found my stance rather comical, but currently, I felt like I could erupt – nothing could amuse me at the moment.

“What the hell was that?” I questioned Kellan and he looked away from me, scowling into the dark winter night. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned his back against the side of his car.

“What are you talking about?” He said indignantly and I felt like I was looking at a three year old. He wasn’t serious was he? He couldn’t possibly be serious right now! Was Kellan, the bad boy player, honestly acting like he hadn’t a clue of what I was taking about? This could not be happening right now.

“Are you serious? Are you honestly going to pretend like that kiss didn’t just happen?!” I shouted and Kellan’s nostrils flared and he huffed in frustration, turning back to face me. He towered over me humongously, and he seemed to only grow taller now that he was angry.

“That’s exactly what I’m going to do. Now if you could move, I’d like to get into my car so I can go home.” He said in a surprising monotone and I could only gape at him now. He was going to pretend like it didn’t happen. I refused to move from my position, even if my hand felt like it was going to fall off and my heart felt like it was going to beat right out of my chest.

“You are incredible you know that?! You do the strangest things yet you don’t bother to explain yourself at all! First you save me from Riley, then you defend me from Liam, then you decided to actually help me in chemistry, and then you kiss me! Yet, in every situation, you refuse to tell me anything no matter how many times I ask; either that or you give some lame ass excuse. You tell me Riley was just being Riley and you had to get to class, so you pulled him off of me. You tell me absolutely nothing about what that crap with Liam was last week and now you’re going to kiss me of all things and pretend like you didn’t feel a thing! You’re a real piece of work, Kellan. You really are!”

I finished off my monologue, not taking my eyes off of Kellan the entire time I spoke. If Kellan was affected by anything I just said, he didn’t show it. He just stared at me like he could have a care in the world and frankly, he looked bored. And it only increased my anger more, but before I could rant any longer, Kellan finally spoke and his tone was cold and deadly.

“I’m going to pretend this night never even happened in the first place, I’m going to go home, and I’m going to go to sleep. And unless you want me to leave you out here in the cold all damn night, you’re going to get your ass in the car and forget everything that just happened.” He threatened and as much as I wanted to be defiant and stand my ground, my frozen toes and fingers were begging quite for the opposite. Very reluctantly, I pulled my hand away from the car door and moved aside to let Kellan in.

I couldn’t let him do this to me. No one can just kiss someone like that and pretend like it didn’t mean anything and just forget it never happened. He couldn’t. I stopped letting people toss me around a long time ago and I certainly wasn’t going to change that fact for stupid old Kellan. I walked to the other side of the car and stood outside of the door until Kellan decided to roll down the window. The heat radiating out of the car was desirable, but I had made up my mind, so I had to ignore it.

“Well, get in already.” He commanded and I leaned down so that Kellan could see my face through the window. Looking at him with dead eyes, I only responded with two words. In a dull voice I said,

“Fuck you.”

I turned from the car and began to walk down the sidewalk in the direction of their home. I knew we’d end up at the same place, but I’d rather walk three miles in blistering heels then spend even three seconds in the same car as Kellan. My anger boiled into a silent rage as I turned and walked down the sidewalk in a huff, the music thumping wildly back at the party, slowly fading as I further distanced myself from it.

I felt like I could scream, but I didn’t. I felt like I could cry, but I wouldn’t. All I did was walk and walk with a dead expression and slumped body down the deserted sidewalk lined with cars. I couldn’t run to Liam, for I didn’t trust him and he abused anything that we possibly had together. I couldn’t run to Theo, for we weren’t exactly on speaking terms and I had too much pride to hinder to him just yet.

I hugged my arms around my body and looked down when I heard the rub of leather. I still had on Kellan’s jacket. Just knowing that I had a part of him on me made my anger slowly dissipate to a dull sadness. I hated the way he made me feel all of a sudden. Just a few weeks ago we weren’t even on speaking terms unless we were throwing insults at each other and everything was perfectly fine. But then Kellan decided he wanted to be nice and screw everything up. Ugh, he was so entirely frustrating!

I thought and I ran a hand through my hair, only to remember the feel of Kellan’s hands doing the exact same motion not only fifteen minutes earlier – and how much I liked it. Geez, Danielle! Get a hold of yourself! You’re thinking too erratically right now, just focus on getting back to the Dainey’s and then you can just sleep everything off and deal with it another day.

I was on Main Street, at least another good mile and a half from Prescott, when the first set of headlights began to close in on me and stay at a slow roll behind me. I tried not to panic, thinking that maybe it was someone looking to turn into their driveway or they were searching for a particular house or something, but they just continued to follow me. I put my hands in the pockets of the jacket and held onto the fabric tightly between my fists, getting nervous.

“Danielle?!” Patch’s voice rang through the quiet night and I felt like I could collapse right then and there. Though I was extremely grateful of the chance that Patch just happened to show up, I was also annoyed that I somehow always ended up being the damsel in distress who was constantly being rescued. I wish I didn’t need to be rescued. I wish I could just take care of myself. But no, I was just useless little Danielle who couldn’t do anything right for herself, or anyone else for that matter.

Patch’s car came to a stop at the curb a little bit behind me and I stopped walking, but didn’t bother to turn around. I could hear Patch’s heavy footsteps come running at me from behind. I felt his hands land on my shoulders as he quickly turned me around. He checked me up and down in a panic, looking for any injuries, I assumed. Unless he could look into my heart, he wouldn’t find any.

“Danielle, what on Earth are you doing out here by yourself? Kellan came home a few minutes ago and told me you just walked off. What’s going on?” Patch said, his voice slightly winded and I suddenly felt very tired. All the crap I’ve been dealing with was finally starting to get to me.

“I don’t know Patch. I just want to go and get some sleep, okay?” I said almost silently, letting my eyes fall until I was barely holding open. Instead of pushing me for information, Patch just gave me a nod and led me back to his still running car.

“You Danielle, you can talk to me. I won’t hold anything against you. You can trust me. I’m here for you.” Patch said once we were in the car and it warmed my heart. I don’t why I’ve trusted myself with incapable, emotional teenagers, like Theo, Kellan, or even Liam with my problems. Yes, they’ve all had their problems, but they lack the maturity that comes with the experience. I could trust Patch and I didn’t know why I didn’t realize it earlier.

I sighed and tilted my head back against the head rest, resting my eyes. “Patch, it’s just starting to seem like everything always blows up in my face. I run away only to end up residing in a house with Kellan Dainey. My best friend finally comes back only to constantly argue with me. I actually get to go back to school as an escape from the lockdown only to get harassed by jerks. And it’s only a matter of time before your plan screws up too. Just face it, helping me out is pointless.”

Patch stopped the car and I realized we were finally back at his place, sitting in the driveway. Patch was half turned in his seat and he was staring at me with an intense gaze.

“Danielle, don’t say that. I can only promise you so much, but what I do promise, I tend to always hold to. And I promise that no matter what I have to do, I’ll get you away from your father and he will get what he deserves.” Patch said and as much as I wanted to believe him, that annoying little thing called doubt still lingered at the back of my mind. I was sad to say that it would take a lot more than just a promise to convince me.

For once, I was glad that the weekend was over and I had another long week of school to distract me – even if that meant I had to be distracted by the lecher Riley.

“Well, well.” Riley started, literally popping out of nowhere as I made my way down the hall towards the library where I fully intended to study every one of my subjects. Riley had this annoying habit of following people around, just to get on their nerves, like that fly that won’t leave the room even though the door and the window is wide open, granting them freedom. They just stay there a buzz annoyingly in your ear until you finally crack and decided to smack it.

“How you doing little miss Risky Business?” Riley slurred in my ear and I felt my lip rise slightly in disgust. I held my books to my chest and sped up my pace, but Riley didn’t get the hint that I wanted to be left alone.

“What do you want, King?” I snapped, wishing my legs could carry me a whole lot faster than they were. Riley slung an arm around my shoulders and leaned him head close to mine. From the corner of my eye, I could see he was branding a devilish grin.

“Well, darling Danielle, I just came to congratulate you on officially becoming Weston High’s best kisser.”

I immediately stopped my footing and turned to stare Riley in the face, slinging his heavy arm off of me in the process. I glared at him through slit eyes and questioned, “What the hell are you going on about, King?”

Riley actually looked surprised for a moment, before that sly grin of his returned and he bent over slightly so that he was eye level with me. Quickly looking both ways for any passersby, in a toned down voice he said, “Haven’t you seen it, Danielle? That little make out session you had with Mr. Kellan Dainey at my party last week is going around the entire school, via video. I knew you had it in you, but now so does the entire student body. Maybe even a few teachers if you’re lucky.”

Riley said, the cheer of the situation seeping through his voice, but I felt no cheer. I felt my heart instantly drop to my stomach. No, that couldn’t be true. There can’t a video of Kellan and I kissing, I thought agonizingly, a hot blush creeping up my cheeks with the thought that it wasn’t just between Kellan and I anymore. How could it possibly happen?  I wondered hurriedly, trying to pull any remnant of evidence from my mind and I could dig up was how weird Kellan acted right after we kissed. He acted like it didn’t happen and he didn’t care to think of it anymore.

Realization hit me as I stormed off away from Riley, ignoring any demeaning words he shouted out behind me. That son of a bitch, I thought angrily as I began to search up and down the halls, trying to overlook the looks I was getting from a multitude of students. I’m going to kill him. He set this entire thing up, just to embarrass me! He fucking played me just like his brother!

I turned the corner quickly and stopped when I saw Kellan with a group of friends, bent over laughing over some cell phone. I was breathing heavy with anger and I imagined every way possible on how I kill Kellan – and none were crisp and clean. Okay, he wanted to act like the kiss between us never happened and just when I was about to try to forget about it myself, he goes and lets the entire student body get a front row seat of it.  

Stomping my feet, I crossed the distance between us and waited for Kellan to turn and face me before I pulled my arm back and sent my fist flying towards his face.

A/N: Hello my lovely readers! Well, what do you think? Are you still a fan of Kellan or are you starting to question the entire male population by this point? Haha, just kidding :) .  I'd love to hear what you think! Any feedback is greatly appreciated and adored! Thanks again for reading! You have no idea how much your support has kept me going! XOXO KeRi