Oh My God!!!!! After all this time we are chatting on live chat.
I couldn't believe how seriel a normal my normal day had gotten.
Robbie!!. Robbie was my daughters dad and I had hardly spoken to
him in over five years and now with her 6th birthday
looming he is chatting away like nothing has ever happened. My
emotions all over the place , anger everything this man had left
me at the age of twenty to bring up this child all on my own now
he was chatting and joking. I should hate him I thought to myself
I know I should but he was funny and I could still remember the
first day I ever seen him.
It was lunch time and me and lyndsey had gone to the mess for
lunch, as we sat down tucking into our chips and whatever else we
had I noticed him in the queue for sandwiches. Shorter than the
rest and wearing a different jacket he stood out from all the
other army lads. I had of course been warned by many to stay far
away from army lads as they only bring trouble, but when I had I
ever listened to advice before if I had I wouldn't be trying to
fix my broken heart from Wil the pti(I had also been warned away
to stay away from those) two weeks before moving to my new camp I
had threw my engagement ring at him and hadn't spoken to him
since it had been over a month now the longest since I had met
him we hadn't spoke and I hadn't looked at another bloke till
now. "who you looking at?" Lyndsay said loudly "no one I answered
quickly and looked back at her. Best not be that army pti that's
all I am saying which one was the pti. She then explained the
blue jacket wooops there it was army and a pti oh no good come
from that I thought I we walked back to work.
It wasn't till the following night I when some girls from lyndsay
section had invited her out and I went too, we like that always
together it helped as we both knew each other ready and everyone
on this camp was new to us.
There was Kat me and Lyndsay had both met kat years ago on a
course but I was struggling to recognize her as she was thin and
blonde and she used to be fat and ginger. Anyway once she laughed
I knew exactly who she was. We sat with a bunch of girls for an
hour or too drinking some awful cocktails before a bunch of lads
came over the group started to split as the girls k ew the lads
and all started chatting away me and lyndsay ended up being
captured is the only way to describe it y an awful looking lad
with a really bad breath problem.
Then from behind someone nudged me, I turned round there he was
the cheeky little army PTI dressed in what could only be
described as the tightest top I had ever seen and wearing a very
cheeky smile "ou want saving?" he said jokingly "yes please " I
was shocked lyndsay gave me a look of discust either because she
had warned me or cos I had moved a little and left her with the
smelly breath guy I don't know.
He introduced himself as Robbie "im a fireman" he said "your not
I pointed out I have seen you in the mess." Shit I had given it
away he smiled "ahh so you have seen me then"
I just tried to cover it up he laughed it off and went to the bar
to get us some drinks well by this point lyndsay had escaped from
the smelly breath lad and came stood with me, when Robbie
returned she left us to it making up some excuse about going with
kat somewhere but she just went back to her room.
It was last orders before I knew it and Robbie offered to walk me
to my block. Whilst we were walking some girl shouting something
at him. When I asked what it was all about he said she was a
friend of his ex fiancée who he had just split up with so I
thought nothing more of it when we got to the entrance he gave me
a kiss on the check and said goodnight.
As the weeks past I saw more and more of Robbie who turned out to
be really funny also all the girls that had been out that night
with me and lyndsay were seeing army lads to so we hung around in
a big crowd. Sometimes me and Robbie would saty in and others we
would all go out to the Bop and get drunk have a dance then back
to what could only be described as the best block partys ever. U
had been in shock the first time I had went to one as to see that
some of the army lads had disco lights in their room. They had
dance off all of which was made funnier by our drunken states. We
would on occasion all go out for Sunday lunch too usually to kill
the hangover, Or go for a ride out in his ridiously bright orange
car more like the colour of baked beans really.
We wer all young I had just turned nineteen and Robbie was a bit
older he was twenty five.
The fun all lasted for a while and although it wasn't love and a
part of me still missed Wil who was now in marine training I
enjoyed myself with Robbie he was fun nothing was serious .
I remember one night he text asking me over to his room, when I
got their he told me he was posted to brize and he was leaving in
4 weeks, which is when I would be on my detachment to another
base for two months so when I left in two weeks that would be it.
Neither of us got upset and although we had had a few fights and
some fun we both decided we would stay in touch and see each
Well I went on my detachment which was the most boring one I have
done to date. All I could do was go to the gym at night and I
hate the gym but I did it anyway to pass the time.
The two months dragged and when I got back Lyndsay was dying to
go out so we got dressed and with a drunken night on the cards
headed out. We went to our usual bar the it was just starting to
get busy, I knew it would be a little weird without Robbie but
thought what the hell we weren't serious anyway as he had
reminded me last time we spoke on the phone. I remember going
outside to use my phone to check where the rest of the girls were
when I saw it that unmistakeable orange car. When I got back
Lyndsay was stood at the corner with our drinks "guess who's car
I have just seen" as soon as the world had left my mouth there
was a pair of hands over eyes "mine by anychance" oh I turned
around there he was no getting out of this lyndsay was laughing
her head off I had a habit of putting my foot in "missed me " he
asked with a cheeky grin and wandered over to his friends.
I had missed him I suppose but felt good because with all the
training I had been doing at the gym I had lost weight and toned
up so was feeling good.The night went as many before silly
drinking games all night once the other girls had joined us, and
as usual the lads had made their way over and now we wer one big
loud drunken crowd. I cant remember who left first might have
been us we might have been last but after the bop I remember
being with Robbie and getting lost going back to my room, how I
don't know but we ended up in a car park for a while laughing at
how we couldn't find my room and it was a five minute walk it had
now taken what seemed like all night. When we eventually got to
mine he was stripped before I could take my shoes off shy was not
a word you could use to describe him. I put a cd on scissor
sisters albulm it was I remember cos when I went to get in bed he
jumped up and turned it off saying it would put him off. He was
so sure of himself that night we had sex at least six times as he
was trying to prove a point he could keep up with me a joke we
used a lot as he was older not much but I still played on it and
it worked like a treat every time. In the morning he was off back
to his new camp as he had only been back visiting said our good
byes which were in no way romantic or sad agreed to meet up at
some point soon and that was that.
Five weeks later I was out shopping with Lyndsay when I happened
to mention I was late coming on my period I thought nothing of it
though I had just mucked my pill up that not out of the norm for
me but lyndsay found it amuzing to wind me up all day saying I
was pregnant to the borrower as she called him. She called him
this obviously because he was short he wasn't that short he was
exactly same height as me five foot six inches. Anyway the
teasing from Lyndsay continued as the week went on so at lunch
time one day we went to chemist to buy a pregnancy test I did
this mainly to shut her up as I was so sure I wouldn't be. She
waited outside the cubical it was one of these new test it actual
says pregnant or not pregnant none of these lines to work out.
"the not's, not coming up" I shouted over and over . Lyndsay was
laughing thinking I was joking I thought I was going to have a
heart attack she made e do the other one as they had came in a
pack of two. That was the same PREGNANT. Shit she had stopped
laughing now she was appologising saying I had to go to doctor to
make sure. I was in a trance is the best way to describe it felt
like I was watching someone else I explained to work I need to go
see a doctor and while I was in waiting room it still all felt
very surreal here I was nineteen years old everything going for
me and I was going to have a baby the doctor confirmed what the
other tests had said still I felt like I was watching someone
else like on tv, this wasn't this couldn't be happening to me not
me others girls yes but not this wasn't in the plan I didn't even
love Robbie I still loved Wil what was going on. Then hit me
harder than ever i still love Wil.