……………… The three men sat in silence for a while each of them getting lost in their own thoughts. Sam took a deep breath.
“She shouldn’t have come with us” he looked round
“So you don’t want her?” Casper frowned
“No I do hell I really do, but at our own pace… well more Tricia’s pace than anything else” Sam rubbed his eyes like a tired two year old
“Looks like you were sprinting from what we saw” Dante shifted in his seat and smirked a little
“I know you guys know what happened the other night” Casper nodded “That was me going too far and crossing the line with her, she doesn’t have a damn clue about… well sex”
“she’s really” Casper looked in my direction “I mean she’s never…”
“No” Sam shook his head
“Damn” Casper sighed and took another drink
“Well she’s seen it” Sam chewed his cheek but she’s seen countless women and girls getting raped at her Fathers…” Sam couldn’t even finish the sentence the thought raised the blood pressure in each of them “That’s been her only… she cried because she said what happened to her the other night felt so good made her feel good so I must be wrong about what had happened because all she’d seen before was girls screaming in pain”
“Poor kid” Dante shook his head
“She’s not a kid that’s what makes it all so much worse; she’s as old as Evie” Sam looked at Dante “How’s she going to feel if she sees us working… well me for that matter”
“She’s been round men like us all her life” Casper topped his head what difference does it make
“Exactly she’s seen what we’re capable of” Sam leant forward “and something only got to spook her or get into her head and…”
“You’re scared she’ll turn away from you” Dante tented his fingers under his chin
“Yes” Sam nodded
“But a few minutes ago you weren’t sure if…” Casper held up his hands
“I know” Sam put his head on the table
“Okay if she was a normal girl like Lyra and Evie….” Casper started
“Did you use the word normal in the same sentence as Lyra and Evie” Sam cocked one eye brow
‘Yeah I’m with Sam” Dante frowned “that’s pushing it”
“You know what I mean, if Tricia was a girl that had been with a guy or a few and she wasn’t in slave mode most of the time” Sam was getting irritated and Casper knew it “Would youhave the same fear of her seen what you are and knowing you’ve killed to get what you have to”
“If it was someone like Lyra or Evie then it wouldn’t bother me” Sam shook his head “a normal girl in a club that hasn’t been there seen that…” he trailed off as Casper smiled at him
‘She’s seen how bad it gets and I don’t doubt for a minute she’s seen someone killed whether she realizes it or not…” Casper took a deep breath before he said the next word “Lauren knew who and what you were and she loved you after everything” Sam hung his head “What if all Tricia wants is to love you regardless…? What if all she wants is to be there for you after those meetings we’ve all had we’re you’re wound up so tight you want to snap, and she’s the only one that can calm you down…? What if she was gone Sam what if you couldn’t be close to her again you want t rick losing her and the chance of having that feeling of being loved and loving someone again”
“Wow” Dante chuckled “when the hell did you get so deep?”
“When I see a friend that needs to get his ass into gear to find the woman he needs to be with so he can have what we have again” Casper got up and walked back down the plane toward where I was and picked up three bottles of beer from the fridge. He stooped and picked up my book from the floor he brought it back to Sam and Dante.
“I need to talk to her and tell her something’s” Sam sighed “Thank you”
“We’ve not had the easiest time with the girls we’ve got” Dante took the beer Casper offered him “Hell I did things to Evie I’m not proud of and I can’t take back and it blows me away that she loves me the way she does after it… He saw things happen to Lyra that no one should ever have to see happen and that’s why we do everyting and give everything we can for these girls so we get the struggle maybe not in the same way you have to deal with it but we’re all broken Sam” Sam nodded and took the beer and knocked bottles with Dante and Casper.
“I found this on the floor by Tricia” Casper held out the red sketch book
“Take a look in it” Sam smiled a little
“What if it’s her diary?” Casper pulled a face
“It’s not believe me” Sam took it from him and opened it up and handed it back
“That’s you?” Casper looked at Sam and handed the book to Dante
“Damn this is amazing” Dante examined the sketch of Sam in front of him, before turning the pages “Did she do all of these?” Sam just nodded “Wow that girl’s got serious talent… they look almost like a photograph”
“She’s got other books that are incredible” Sam’s face lit up “I’ve watched her in the garden sitting drawing she gets lost in what she’s doing, the stress and fear and everything that holds her down is gone when she’s in that zone, she looks like she’s never had a care or a worry… I want to get that look from her when she’s with me… you think it might happen”
“Be truthful and honest and you both have all f us to lean on if you need us” Dante sank the rest of his beer “Now I’m going to get some sleep or Jet lag will make me crabby” he got up and went and sat back where he originally was grabbing a pillow and blanket from the cabinet and tossing one on to Casper’s Chair for him.
“You take those” Casper said looking at Sam “and for god sake let her wake up to find you at least next to her” he pushed in his ear buds and let his music take him away.
Sam got up and walked back down the plane to where I was. He kicked off his hoes and sat next to me moving the arm between the two seats and moving me from the window.
‘Where are we?” I mumbled stirring
We’re still in the air” he put his arm round me and laid my head on his shoulder “You can go back to sleep” he pulled the blanket back over me before covering himself as well with the second one “We can both go to sleep baby” he pressed his lips to my head I wrapped my arm over his and let the hum of the engines and the beat of his heart lull me back to sleep…..