……….. I pulled back into the driveway of the house a little after eleven the sun had set and the night was creeping in. The house was in total darkness as I went into the kitchen and took a bottle of water from the fridge My Cell phone was lighting up like a Christmas tree I looked at the number and answered it
Angela * thank god Chris we were worried about you
Me * I didn't' pick up my phone when I left earlier and I need to apologize for walking out and leaving you all here
Mike * Hey don't say sorry, we only did it because we thought…
Me * It's okay I know and I think I get why you guys did it and I do love you all for being there through it all but I need to start standing on my own two feet emotionally
Angela * Chris you lean on any of us any time and when the girls aren't there then I know the guys are Oh Alfie and the others are all here for the night as well so don't' panic when your guest rooms are empty
Me * I did wonder the house is in darkness… Did Chad leave as well?"
Angela * No but he was pretty cut up he and the guys took a few hours and went to the studio
Mike * We left him there about two hours ago
Me * I said some things I should…
Angela * Go talk to my stubborn assed brother-in-law
Mike * Chris… you can't walk away from him it'll…
Me * I'm not going anywhere Mike Don't' worry
I hung up the phone and tossed it on to the counter I walked out of the kitchen and up to our room and grabbed shorts and a t-shirt; I stripped out of my now dry bikini and pulled them on. I walked back down the stairs and out to the recording studio and keyed the code into the door pushing it open the sound of a new song I'd never heard was playing low as I walked up the stairs. The only light came from the lamp over the desk. The landline was hanging from its place on the wall, I walked over to it and picked it up putting it back in its cradle before looking to the couch where Chad was lay curled up on his side facing the back of the couch.
I sat on the edge of one of the large chairs and wrapped my arms round myself as I watched him sleeping. I chewed my lip before getting up and walking over to the couch and getting on behind him slipping my arms round him pressing my lips against the back of his neck. He took a deep breath and started to move
"It's me" I murmured "I'm sorry… I'm sorry for leaving and yelling at you"
"I was worried" His voice was groggy from sleep "You left without your phone" He went to turn round I held him tighter "Chris what you said." I buried my head against his back
"I understand if I'm not what you want… I'll walk away and let you have anyone you want anyone that can make you happy"
'Shut up" He moved my arm from round him and turned over to face me his face inches from mine his arm wrapped over my waist "I understand why you got mad, Hell I got nothing but crap of Angela and the others for not saying anything about the party to you" he pushed a strand of hair back from my face "I forget how close you are to Jess because Jess is looked after by people that give a damn you weren't" He frowned "I want to be the one that you run to, I want to be the one that stops the hurt when things go wrong, I want to be that guy that you never want to be away from" He ran his fingers down my cheek "the whole not having a baby thing does bother me like crazy, but not for me I swear Chris, It bothers me for us" he rested his forehead against mine "The guys see the same thing and they're trying to do the guy thing and protect you" I smiled and closed my eyes "They have kids and know how it feels to have that bond with their kids and know we won't get to do that, But I have you and I can't see any part of my future without you in it, I was with a woman that could give me kids and I never loved her half as much as I love you" He cupped my neck in his hand "Hell I've walked away from people that have spoken to me the way you did" he smiled "I'm scared as hell like with the damn Russian you're going to wake up and find I'm not what you want You gave up the All American boy for some Canadian Rocker"
"All American boys aren't a patch on Canadian rockers" I sniffed pulling him closer to me "I know what I want, I found my man when I wasn't looking for him" I snuggled into his neck.
"I need to remember my wife bites" He sighed "I'll make it up to you for me being an ass"
"no need I know you're an ass I can live with it"
"Do I have to still sleep in the guest room or on the couch?" He chuckled
"I don't' care as long as I'm next to you" I looked up at him "I love you'
"I love hearing you say that" he kissed my forehead 'You still want to marry me all over again"
"Oh yeah… just the solo trip down the aisle is keeping me up at night scaring the crap out of me"…………….