SOMETIMES IT'S BETTER TO BELIEVE IN FAIRYTALES THAN REALITY. REALITY CAN MOSTLY BE FILLED WITH CRUELTY. WHEN YOU HAVE THAT HOPE IN YOU OR HAPPINESS, IT RUINS IT THE MOMENT YOU FOUND IT. NEXT THING YOU KNOW YOU'LL BE CRYING IN ONE CORNER OF YOUR BEDROOM. REALITY ISN'T ALL ABOUT 'HAPPILY EVER AFTERS' OR A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS SAVED BY HER KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR. IN REALITY, YOU HAVE TO SAVE YOURSELF BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WILL.
I stopped typing because I ran out of ideas on what to say. It's a habit of mine to type out my thoughts on my laptop when I have nothing to do. My life is boring so things that I type are mostly in my perspective with a mix of imagination. I'm a 3rd year high school student and I'm boring Kitara Cross. I'm the quiet type when it comes to meeting people but I'm a chatter box when I'm with my close friends.
"Lovely, please don't tell me you're typing again." My mom said as she walks into my room. She doesn't approve of the things that I want to do with my life. Lovely is the nick name that is so far from my name. I wonder how she got the name lovely from. She names her children with Japanese names and calls us nicknames that are so far from our names.
"It's my English homework." I said.
"If you're still trying to work on that novel, give it up already. You won't earn any money by writing novels and performing on stage. Remember that you're your daddys' pride. Make him proud to have a daughter like you." My mom said. Among the 5 brothers in the Cross family, daddy's the only one who graduated college with flying colors so I have to follow his footsteps. My dad is an Interior Designer and graduate of Bachelor of Science Architecture. They saw that I got the potential of drawing things so they wanted me to take the same course when I get to college. In return, they will spoil me when it comes to musical plays and gadgets. I envy the people who get to live their dreams while I have to hide behind my dads' shadows and never see the light.
"Yes, mommy." I faked a smile and she kissed me on my forehead.
"Lunch is ready. Are you going to eat with us?" I don't really have the appetite to eat right now so I just shook my head.
"I'll finish this first. I'm not that hungry anyway." I said and turned back to my computer People say I'm lucky to have my parents like them but I think it's the other way around. Their parents are not as strict as mine are.
I'm not allowed to do lots of things but I've done a thing or two and still got away with it without them knowing. Like I'm not supposed to have a boyfriend till I'm 20 and I'm not supposed to go to the malls without them. I've had 3 boyfriends but I didn't take any of them seriously so they don't count. I'm not that attractive but my friends said that I would be more attractive if I don't tie my hair into a ponytail just like I always do. They said that the best part of me is my eyes. They held so many secrets and cried so many times before. I've cried for a guy before and he was my bestfriend. He and I were so close and I fell in love with him. I told him what I felt and after a week of not coming to school, we were together as a couple. I told my parents and they were furious. They've met Red before and they didn't like him at all. They told me to stay away from him and never talk to him ever again the first time they met him as my bestfriend. Reds' parents talked to my parents into letting us are a couple because every teenager goes through that kind of situation. I realized that I wasn't even a teenager back then. It lasted for almost two years but we grew more distant everyday. Just when I was transferred to Red Academy, we had to part ways and I found out after a few weeks that he's been cheating on me with my bestfriend. I cried for days and I wouldn't be able to move on if my new friends weren't there to save me from hurting myself.
Ever since that day, my parents would pick guys for me and one of them turns out to be Ashton or Luke as I call him. He became my close friend before my parents said they want him for me. Things worked out after that and we lasted for only a few months cause I didn't really have the time for him. I became a sophomore and piles of school work were to be done. Our relationship was on and off but everything was going smoothly. Now that I'm a junior and still going strong with my bestfriends or should I call them the 'Tezuka Gang'. My life's been a fairytale until I learned about how I couldn't live my dreams.
My phone rang and I saw that it was Rhea.
"Ohayo, Tezzy." I said. It's how we greet each other on the phone and at school. It's sort of our signature greeting.
"Ohayo, Tezzy. I just wanted to ask if you have the copy of our lecture given to us yesterday. I lost mine." Rhea asked.
"Hold on a sec." I said and opened my drawer where I keep my lectures. I couldn't find it in my drawer so maybe it's still in my backpack. I took out my arch file and a paper fell from it. I unfolded it and…
I know we don't really talk to each other since our classrooms are separated but we used to be in the same class when you were still studying in Light International School (LIS) You probably don't remember me cause I was the one who sat far away from you. You were always sitting on the front row and I would always be sitting in the back.
Anyway, the reason I wrote to you is that I want to get to know you better. I know I should just be chatting with you online but what can I say? I'm an oldies guy. Not an old guy but you know what I mean. I heard a lot about you from Ethan. You guys seem pretty close, huh? I wish we too could be as close as that but you'll get me mixed up with my twin brother. If you decided to write back, just hand it to Ethan and he'll hand it to me. If you do remember me (or my twin brother) then great. At least you know who to look for when you need a friend.
"Who's K. Logan?" I whispered to myself.
"Who's who?" I forgot I was talking to Rhea.
"K. Logan. Do you know who he is?" I asked Rhea.
"You do know that there's a thing called 'Facebook', right? You could just search his name. Why are you asking and where did you get that name?" I rolled my eyes and searched on Facebook for a K. Logan. I can't remember anyone with that name. There is tons of K. Logan on Facebook and none of them are studying in Red Academy.
"I've got a letter from him and he signed it as K. Logan. I wonder who that is. He said he knows me and we were classmates before but I can't remember anyone with that name." I said to her.
"Looks like someone has a Mr. Unexpected passing on a letter." Rhea teased.
"Looks like you forgot, young lady. You too have a Mr. Unexpected and he was unexpectedly mentioned in the letter. Have you been telling him about me?" I bet my collections that she is blushing right this moment.
"Umm…I-I think I can hear my mom calling me. See ya." She hang up I shook my head and placed my phone beside my laptop. I placed the letter into my drawer and started typing again.
WHILE TRYING TO SAVE YOURSELF, YOU WOULD MEET PEOPLE FROM YOUR PAST THAT YOU DON'T EVEN REALIZE THAT EXISTED IN YOUR LIFE. THEY SAY THAT THEY COME BACK FROM THE PAST BECAUSE THEY WILL BE IN YOUR FUTURE. WILL PEOPLE BELIEV IN THOSE TYPES OF SAYINGS? MAYBE ONLY THE ONES WHO HAVE ALREADY EXPERIENCED I WILL BELIEVE. IT MAY STAR IN A SIMPLE LETTER OR PEOPLE BUMPING INTO EACH OTHER. YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO MEET THAT UNEXPECTED PERSON. MAYBE YOU'LL MEET HIM TOMORROW OR THE NEXT WEEK JUST DON'T EXPECT THAT MUCH FROM HIM. THEY MAY JUST BE A FRIEND IN YOUR FUTURE AND NOTHING MORE.THEY MAY BE YOUR KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR BUT NOT YOUR PRINCE CHARMING. YOU NEVER CAN TELL.
I wonder what Kaname is doing right now. I've had a crush on him since our Foundation Day when we were just freshmen until now. It's a long story between us. What really is bothering me is who K. Logan might be and why would he talk to Ethan about me? Ethan barely knows me but I'm sure Rhea have told him everything about me just like how we 'girl talk' about him. We haven't met in person but we get the idea of how each other are. Ethan and Rhea too have their own story and drama on Rheas' side. Before any of them notice, they fell in love and we noticed it by the way they spend their time together. It takes time for them to realize but I'm sure that they'll see it at the right time.
I envy Rhea more than she envies me. She's a real head turner and he's the 'Beauty and Brains' of the gang. She said I was the lucky one and she's greatful that she has a friend like me who doesn't lie. I'd get the guilty feeling whenever she says those words. It's not all the time I was honest to them but I tried my best not to lie as much as I act to be someone else. I don't like the real me so with a dash of imagination, I pretend to be someone and created a new me without showing the old me. Sometimes acting feels so right to me at times but will feel so wrong after. I don't know when am I going to show the real me that's been hiding behind shadows all this time. Maybe after I graduate... or never.
"Lovely, your boyfriend's here to see you." My mom said. When is she going to learn to knock before entering?
"I'll be down in a sec." I said as I turned my laptop off. I inhaled and went down the stairs quietly. I saw Luke sitting on the coach staring at the TV. I tiptoed and covered both of his eyes.
"Mako, I know it's you." He said. 'Mako' is 'Mahal Ko' in Filipino and it means 'My love' in English. I sat beside him and pouted.
"I heard your footsteps silly." He said playfully and pinched my nose lightly. I thought I was quiet enough for him not to hear my footsteps. Guess I'm not that light on my feet.
"Is everything alright?" I asked him.
"Yeah. I'm just thinking about… us. I know I'm possessive but you can't blame me for loving you that much. I know that you had a crush on Kaname and maybe you have a little feeling left for him but will you try to think about what I am to you. You're important to me and I want to be as important to you as your dreams. Can you do that?" He looked at me in the eyes and I could see that he's sincerely.
"Of course. Could you do something for me?" I asked.
"I would do anything for you…except to break up with you." I smiled. I never want to break up with you, Luke.
"I love you. Remember that and Kaname doesn't mean anything to me. He has someone else and I have you. You're my whole world and you're the one I love. Don't ever doubt my feelings for you. I should have realized it sooner but what's important is that we are together now. That's all that matter, right?" I said to him and I meant it. I really do love him and no matter how long I've liked Kaname, he means nothing to me now. He wouldn't notice me anyway. Why should I force myself to love someone who doesn't love me back?
"I love you too." He said then he kissed my forehead. I never let anyone kiss me on the lips cause I want my first kiss to be special and with the one I will spend my whole life with. Not that I have doubts that it would be Luke but I want it to be on our wedding day. I rested my head on his shoulders and breathed in his scent. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders as I settled closer to him. This is how I like it.