Zoe's Song

(Zoe's POV)

"This is going to be so hard you guys."  Isay, sniffling over my smoothie I just bought at Dunn Bros.  I'm saying my fair-wells to my best friends in the entire world.  Jamie has been here for me through everything.  She helped me during my mom's bout with Breast Cancer.  I never could have done it without her holding my hand.

"You'll be fine.  I promise."  She says, rubbing my arm.

"Yeah, plus there's always ichat, and you guys will probably be passing messages in your YouTube videos."  Mackie says.  Mackie is possibly the best guy friend a girl could ever ask for.  He even lets me drag him to chick flicks, though that's hardly ever, I refer horror or action to romance.

"You guys are right.  I'm just nervous.  I've lived here my entire life and now I'm going off on my own.  I'm so nervous."  I say.  They smile, knowing that I've already said that ten times in the past five minutes.

"Don't be so dramatic girlie.  It's only like twelve hours away or something like that.  We'll be seeing you for thanksgiving and stuff."  Jamie says, trying to get me to calm down. 

I've never been too emotional, but the thought of nto having my friends and family around me is heartbreaking.

"Maybe I should just start in the spring.  I mean what's the harm in waiting a while?"  I ask, grasping for any excuse to stay.

"Zoe Emilia Nathanson, you will not and I repeat not, be staying until spring.  You have the opportunity of a lifetime to work at the magazine.  Do you know how many people, people older than you, who would kill for this position?"  Mackie scolds me.

"I know you're right, but I hate the thought of leaving.  What if something happens?"  I ask.

"Nothing will happen.  Nothing can happen."  Jamie tells me.  I finally start to calm down and realize that I need to start enjoying myself.  It's my last day with my friends and I'm going to live it up.  We actually don't "live it up."  We stay in the coffee shop all day because it's been pouring cats and dogs outside.

"I get home and find my family in the living room, watching a movie.  I smile, thinking about how rare it is for a family of six to all end up in the same room together without being forced.  I see that all the spots are taken so I go and sit by my parent's feet, feeling a calmness only my family can bring upon me.

The sound of my alarm clock awakes me far too early in the morning.  I grumble something incomprehensible, even to me, as I slam my hand down on the snooze button.  I sit up and feel a sense of nostalgia as I look around my empty room which was once filled with pictures and posters; memories of my high school years.

I get up and go to the bathroom.  I straighten my bangs and pull the rest of my hair into a messy bun.  I throw on some waterproof eyeliner and mascara, knowing that I'll probably be crying later.  I go into my room and put on the clothes I had left out when I was packing.  I put on some dark brown twill shorts that reach mid thight, a dark blue wife beater, and a light blue twisted racerback tank over it.

I go downstarirs to find my mother in the kitchen, making her usual pot of coffee.

"Good morning Zoe.  Are you excited?"  she asks, taking a sip of the warm liquid in her hands.

"Momma, I'm so nervous." I say.  I didn't used to call her momma, and if somebody told me about an eighteen year odl talking to her mother like they're still an infant, I would laugh.  But since my mom fought her cancer, I realize that I may as well be a three year old because without her, I wouldn't function properly.

Mom takes a deep breath and comes around the table to my side and pulls me into a tight hug.  "Everything is going to go great.  You've got a steady job already, so you won't have to worry about money when you're there.  Out of all my children, I'm most comfortable with you going.  Not because I love you least."  She says, reading my thoughts.  I've always been doubtful of the love people have for me.  Everybody calls it middle child syndrom, but if that's the case, then why doesnt' Chloe have it too?  "It's because you've always been strongest.  You can put on a tough face and fool everybody around you into thinking your okay, which normally I would say is bad, but in your case, it makes you stronger." 

I nod and drink my juice that's on the table.  "You still remember how to work ichat like I taught you?"  I ask, worriedly.

Mom huffs.  "No, but I'll have my three other children around here to teach me.  You need to stop worrying honey.  You're going to college, not dying."  Her saying that makes me much less worried.  Knowing how close she was to her end makes me realize how superficial I'm being.

"You're right.  I'll try to be positive."  I say.

"That's my girl."  Mom says, getting up to refill.

My dad walks into the room and looks at me.  "The truck's all packed Hun.  We've got to go now or we'll get there too late to do anything."  I nod my head.  We all walk outside.  Mom and Chloe are the only ones not going with us.  Sebastian (my twenty-one year old brother), Alexander (my seventeen year old brother) and Sean (my father) are driving with me, in the truck, while I drive my Chevy cobalt.  That way we can all take turns driving and each gets to spend a littl emore time with me.

I walk up to Chloe.  She's already got tears in her eyes.  Chloe is my twin, incase you haven't guessed based on the name similarities.  We're fraternal, but so close in personality that you couldn't miss the relation.  "I'll miss you so much."  Her voice cracks.

I hug her close.  "We'll talk everyday and text all the time, and I'll be home in a couple months."  I say, a tear falling down my cheek.

"I know, but I'm going to miss you like crazy son."  I laugh as she calls me son.  It's our own littl ejoke, I dont' remember why but whenever we address the other we always say "son" instead of their name.

"Alright guys, gather up.  It's picture time."  Mom says.

I'm the only one who groans.  I absolutely hate getting my picture taken with my siblings.  Out of my entire family, I'm the only one who took after our Irish ancestry.  The others are obviously Italian.  My dark red hair and bright green eyes stick out like a sore thumb compared to their dark brown hair and brown eyes.  The only part of me that looks remotely Italian is my skin tone, which isn't even tan, it just doesn't have freckles like my grandfather did.

"Oh, shut up and come here."  Chloe says, pulling me int othe group.  Chloe and I hug while Sebastian and Alex put their arms around us.  We pose for this every time.

We pull away and I notice dad glancing at his watch again.  "We can go as soon as you and mom get your butts over here so I can get my picture with you."  I say teasingly.

He looks relieved as mom hands the camera over and they both walk up to me, putting their hands on my back and smiling for the camera.

I turn to my mom.  "Call me."  I say, I would say more, but I know that if I do, I'll start sobbing and begging her not to make me go.

"You can count on it."  She says softly, wrapping me in her arms for the last time until November.

I turn away and slowly make my way back to Chloe.  "Don't stop singing."  She says.  I look at her and laugh.  "As long as you dont' stop either, I promise."  I say.  We have a YouTube channel wehre we sing songs with eachother.  I'm always on guitar and sometimes she plays piano.

We hug and I walk towards my car, climbing into the driver's seat and following my father out of the driveway, headed towrds my new home.  Colorado.