Hey guys, i'm still writing this story, so dont assume this is the end because i promise i have a lot in store for you to read! anyway, i hope you enjoy this and fall as much in love with the characters as i have. sorry if there are any mistakes! Enjoy! -Neveah
I have a problem. A big problem and I'm afraid of what you think when I tell you. I'm afraid you'll think I'm a bitch, or some heartless monster who doesn't care about anyone but herself. But I promise I'm not! I'm just… kind of dating my best and only friend's boyfriend. That's right, you heard me. I'm the 'other woman' or the 'evil mistress'. I didn't plan for it to happen. It just… did. See, me and Chaz are neighbors. Like, we live right next to each other. We even share a tree house. That's how close our families are. We were really close friends too, and he was even my first kiss. Ever since his lips touched mine in our tree house in eighth grade I've loved him. I remember feeling so lucky that Chaz was my first kiss and that I was his. I felt so lucky that a guy as gorgeous as him picked me, because believe it or not, I'm a pretty big nerd. I'm not necessarily ugly, but I'm not the prettiest girl in the school. At all. With my long mud brown hair, and hazel eyes which are covered by my big Rayban glasses, I'm as plain as it gets. Chaz however, is the picture of perfect. He's got blond hair and blue eyes, a great body and an even more amazing voice. I remember when he sang me his first song he'd ever written, and it was beautiful. Just like him. He's the guy every girl wants, and unfortunately only one pretty blond girl with grey eyes gest to have him. And who's that girl? My best friend, Phoebe Bellark.
But why did Phoebe date Chaz if she knew how much I liked him? How could I live with myself, cheating with my best friend's boyfriend? These are all questions you're probably wondering about. For one, I'm kind of a quiet girl, so I don't really talk much. Phoebe however, can sometimes talk so much that I don't really have to. She's never asked me if I liked anyone or anything remotely in the range of topics. We mostly talk (or she mostly talks) about Chaz. Which is totally not a topic I hate to talk about. Anyway, Chaz and Phoebe officially started dating after Chaz gave me my first kiss. Yeah, it hurt pretty badly. And guess when I realized I wanted to be with more than just friends with Chaz? Right after Phoebe told me how much she wanted to be with him. But Chaz is a really great guy, and he didn't want to see Phoebe and me get hurt. So sometimes we do see each other in that way, just… privately, in the tree house. And that's what we've been doing. Every once in a while after school, and sometimes we sneak out and stay there all night.
I know that you probably still think it's inexcusable to make out with your best friends boyfriend. But when you love someone as much as I love Chaz, you'll find a way to make It work. And doing things this way, Phoebe won't get hurt, and we can both be happy.
And seeing him right now, in the hell hole called Spiron High school… it's the only thing that keeps me going.
I couldn't take my eyes off of Chaz. No madder how hard I tried to ignore him, he was just there. you would think that in a lunch room this full of people I'd lose track of where he was. Trust me; I didn't want to like him, to love him. But I couldn't help it. Every time I saw his chiseled body, or the way his blue eyes gleamed in the light of the cheap hallway lights, I relived each of our times in the tree house. Everything reminded me of him.
"He's coming over here!" the sound of Phoebes voice awoke me from my wonderful world of Chaz, but I didn't move. I knew exactly who she was talking about, and it made my head hurt thinking about anything having to do with the gorgeous dark haired boy heading in our direction.
"Ugh…" I mumbled, cursing under my breath. I'd heard all the rumors, and I knew everyone said he was a major player. But something about him gave me major butterflies in my stomach. And the worst part? He knows. He knows how much he interests me and that I'm staring at him. He likes watching me drool over him. Sometimes I see him staring at me, but I try to just ignore him. Even though he's in all of my classes, I don't even really know what his name is.
"Hey there." Phoebe said flirtatiously, twisting her hair in her fingers. Half of me hoped that the mysterious boy would just pay attention to Phoebe, like most do. But I could tell by the way he was looking at me that that wasn't the case.
"It's Cameron right?" He asked, completely ignoring Phoebe. She was shocked, and believe me, I was too. No guys ever dismissed her that way, especially when they're as hot as this beautiful boy was. I'd never seen him up close, and trust me, the view was better. His eyes were deep grey and his shaggy dark hair framed his face perfectly. Even though he was only wearing a blue t-shirt and black jeans, he looked like a poster boy for Abercrombie.
"Why would you want to know her name? I mean, there are much better offers on the table." Phoebe spat, making a pouty face that caused boys from other tables to stare. Abercrombie boy gave me a look like, are you seriously gonna let her say something like that? And the answer was, yes. I was going to let her say that. I feel guilty as hell every day and not letting her say things like that about me would just make me feel worse inside.
"Do you not talk or something?" to my absolute horror, Abercrombie boy sat down right next to me and continued staring into my eyes. To tell you the truth, it scared me. It terrified me that he was looking at me. And I mean really looking at me. Normally I can hide behind my overgrown bangs or glasses. But right now, there was no hiding. I felt like I was under the microscope of a scientist who was studying me.
"Yeah… I… you…why… are… uh…" I stuttered, fixing my glasses. I mentally slapped myself in the face, cursing god for making me this awkward in these types of situations. I braced myself for him to tease me, to call me a nerd and a retard, or for him to call over his friends and embarrass me. But he didn't. He gave me an amazingly gorgeous smile and held out his hand. I shook it.
"Cool…" I squeaked. I laughed nervously, biting my bottom lip in the progress. I moaned in pain, and I looked to see Phoebe shaking her head at me in disapproval. I looked back at Jared, and he laughed. Even his laugh was beautiful. God. Why was I born to be such an awkward freak? Why can't I just be regular like Phoebe? And why the hell was Jared talking to me?
"I like that name, Cameron. It suits you." For a second he just sat there, staring directly at me. My hand was still in his, and I was starting to feel uncomfortable. I felt like I was betraying Chaz. I promised him that he had the key to my heart and no one else. (I didn't actually say that, just in my head) and even though i was referring to the guy who has been dating my best friend for three years, I still felt awkward. Little jolts of electricity kept jolting through my body, looking at my hand in Jared's. No, no, no! I told myself, letting out a big sigh. I loved Chaz, and I owed it to him to not even think about anyone else. Right?
"You ok?" He let go of my hand and stuffed it in his pockets. Most of me was relieved, but a small part of me wished he would have left his hand in mine for a little bit longer. I nodded slowly, and looked at my beaten up converse. Is it possible that a guy like him could be interested in a girl like me? I have kept catching him staring at me throughout the day…Was this a practical joke?
"Are you-" i stared in disbelief of what I saw. Jared was no longer there. How did he do that? No ones that fast. I looked around the room full of kids stuffing their faces, and I found no sign of Jared. Where did he go? Even though I knew he was nowhere to be seen, I kept looking. For some reason I was determined to find this boy and get to know him.
"Cam? Are you even listening?" Phoebe asked, waving her hand in front of my face in frustration. This whole time Phoebe's been rambling on and on about some junk with her and her brother. And honestly? I couldn't care less. Don't get me wrong, she's my closest and only friend and I love talking to her. It's just that ever since Jared came over to our table I haven't been able to focus. On anything. My brain just shut down. All I can think about is him and how perfect he is.
"So Chaz and I had such a great time last night.." Phoebe said, zeroing in on him through the crowded lunch room. She flipped her honey blond hair behind her back. My heart thumped in my chest just at the mention of his name, and I thought of all the time in the tree house we'd spent together.
"That's… great." I mumbled, pretending to be the excited best friend Phoebe thought I was. I've always been good at acting, so one of my ways of coping with this whole situation is thinking of it as a role, a role in the most predictable mushy best friend movie the worlds ever seen.
"I know right? It's going to be our 3 year anniversary you know." Phoebe said as she motioned Chaz over, and with every step closer to us he took my heart threatened to jump out of my chest. When he finally reached us, Phoebe pulled him into a serious French kiss which he didn't refuse. Anger and jealousy pulsed through my veins and my fists clenched under the table as I held my breath. That should be me kissing him. Not Phoebe. She doesn't even know anything about Chaz! Probably except the inside of his mouth. Like literally, I think the longest conversation they've ever had has been about three words. And those words are 'wanna make out?'
At least when Chaz and I hang out we actually talk about all types of things.
"You excited babe?" Chaz asked, taking a seat in between me and Phoebe. He even smelled good. Like the ocean.
"You know I am. God I'm gonna starve. I'll be right back." She got up and skipped away to the lunch line, which was on the other side of the long room.
Chaz took my hand from under the table and looked right at me. "Hey Cammie." I could feel butterflies in my stomach buzzing around and I smiled awkwardly. I loved it when he used my nickname, because only he calls me it. No one else.
"Hey Chaz. Looking forward to later today." I said, giving him a small smile. He smiled back, but he dropped my hand. Even though inside it felt pretty bad, I knew he had to do it. I mean, even holding my hand in public is risky.
"Same. Want to come over to my house? Phoebe's not coming over so I thought maybe…" He trailed off, looking at me with his perfect eyes and giving me an irresistible smile. I nodded yes, and picked up my bag lunch at the sight of Phoebe walking back over. Knowing that Chaz is with a girl besides me sucks. Terribly. So the chance of me sticking around to see them together? Not in this lifetime.
When I finally reached my destination of the handicapped stall in the bathroom, I put the toilet seat down and collapsed on top of it, making a loud thumping noise. God knows what other people in the bathroom thought was happening. But I didn't care. I couldn't get what happened with Jared out of my head. How come he left so fast? I was surprised to feel the sadness seeping into me as I thought about him leaving. I ached to see him again, and for some reason I couldn't wait for my lunch period to be over so that I could go to math class. And I absolutely hate math. But I didn't want to go to math class for the math. I wanted to go to see Jared. Tears gathered in my eyes and I couldn't help but let them fall down my cheeks. I felt so pathetic, being so desperate for a guy to actually notice me. I mean I have Chaz, and I was lucky for that, but there I was, acting all needy over some guy I just officially met. He's probably just trying to reel me in and then embarrass me, like every other idiot guy in this school. A memory popped into my head, a thought about the last time I was stupid enough to let someone get to my heart besides Chaz, but I quickly pushed it away. Trusting Chaz and no one else was the only way to make sure I could be safe. The only way I could protect myself from getting broken… again. I'd just recovered from the incident that happened last time. And there was no way in hell that I would was ever going back down that road.
When Math class finally rolled around, I made sure I was the first one there and I took a seat towards the back of the room, where I was safely hidden away from Mr. Reidel's radar. I pulled out my books, and slapped them down on the table, trying to get my mind off Jared. It was probably nothing. Guys like Jared will never be interested in nerdy girls like me. i repeated these words over and over again in my head, even writing it down on the open notebook sitting on my desk. This is a tactic I learned over my years in hell hole middle school and in my beginning years in hell hole high school; Its' called operation Don't Get Your Hopes Up, or D.G.Y.H.U for short. I created this plan when I was being made fun of by some bitchy girls in 7th grade. Why did I create this, might you ask? Because getting rejected for something you really want doesn't hurt as badly when you never expected it to actually go well. And operation D.G.Y.H.U was going great, and I was actually starting to lose the aching desire for Jared. That is until he stepped into the room.
You know those movies? The ones where the girl is daydreaming all about the guy and then everything goes all slow-mo when he walks by her? Well that's what it felt like to me, watching Jared come into the room. It was like all my thoughts stopped, and I just couldn't move. Or speak. Or breathe. To make matters worse, Jared decided to take the seat right next to me. I think there were about five other open desks, but of course, he chose the desk to the right of me. I waited for him to say something to me, but he didn't. He just faced forward and didn't say a word. I wanted to say something, but I couldn't. I'd lost the ability to make sound. All I could do was move my mouth up and down awkwardly, and I hoped no one was watching me and my retardedness. Before I knew what I was doing, I turned so that I was facing him and poked his shoulder.
"Cameron, Hey." He gave me a dazzling half smile that caused other girls to gawk at him in awe. Some even tried to say something, but he didn't respond. He just kept looking at me, waiting for an answer patiently. He acted as if I was the only one in the room, and I loved it. I wanted him to keep looking at me like that forever. Guilt washed over me and I managed to mumble a small hello. Jared stopped looking at me, and was staring at something else. I followed his eyes and I was mortified at what I saw. Sitting there, open to the entire world, was my notebook, and my whole D.G.Y.H.U operation, with my statement about Jared was written four times. I quickly closed it, but it was too late. Jared had already seen everything, and I was horrified beyond recovery. I put on my hood , crossed my arms down on the table, and put my head down, shielding myself away from Jared's confused face. Why does everything happen to me?
I stayed that way, with my head on the table, for the rest of class. You would think that Mr. Reidel would tell me to sit up, but the thing about this hell hole is that the teachers really don't care. As long as you turn in your homework and give at least a little effort, they couldn't care less about what it is you're doing. So when the bell rang, I still didn't move. I wanted to wait until I was absolutely sure that Jared wasn't in the classroom. But when I finally lifted my head up, there Jared was, standing over me and giving me a small smile. God dammit.
I'm pretty sure there's some evil force up in the sky, working against me to make my life miserable.
I put my books away and put on my backpack as fast as I could, and headed for the door. But Jared was faster.
"Can…please…um…move?" Wow. I couldn't even get a damn sentence out! I needed to get out of there, and I needed to do it now. I don't think guys should be able to have this powerful an effect on girls.
"Who ever said I wasn't interested in you?" Jared said, obviously trying not to laugh. I bet he thought this whole thing was just soo funny. I could feel my cheeks turning a bright red, and this only made Jared struggle even more to contain his laughter. I was just so embarrassed, and so angry at myself for starting to have feelings for Jared that I shoved him. Too bad it didn't actually do anything. Jared just full on laughed, and moved out of the way so he could follow me to our next class.
"Cameron I'm sorry ok?" even though Jared was still laughing, he sounded at least a little bit concerned. But I kept walking, as fast as I could, try to lose him. But he kept up.
"Why…why are you talking to me?" I whispered, making sure only he could hear me. I was surprised that h was still able to walk next to me, because of how full the hallways were. Kids ran past us in pairs, couples were kissing around the lockers, and the jocks were bullying helpless freshmen. Somehow, with all the things that were going on, Jared still looked only at me.
"Why wouldn't i?" He had finally stopped laughing, and when I lookd over at him I was shocked to see that he looked… curious. Like he didn't know why I would be so weirded out by him talking to me.
" Guys that… that look like you don't… don't talk to girls as plain as me." I mumbled, continuing my verge of stuttering. Honest to god, I promise I don't stutter as much as I am right now. but its just that when I'm with him… I don't know. I just can't concentrate. I can't think. I'm proud of myself for actually speaking!
"Am I ugly or something? Not cool enough to hang out with the famous Cameron?" He said this sarcastically, and he tried to copy my exact movements.
"It's kind of the opposite really. And I'm not famous."
"You are to me." Ok, I'm not gonna lie, when he said this I totally had this whole awww moment in my head. I was speechless. No one had ever said anything like that to me. Not even Chaz. And especially someone who I'd just met today! When I didn't respond he continued. "And plus, I think I have the right to be friends with whoever I want. We should probably get to class." I didn't even realize we'd stopped right in the middle of hallway until he said these words. All of a sudden the kids who I swear were just running around the hallway were gone. The couples swapping spit by the lockers were gone too. It was just me and Jared.
"Th-thanks." I adjusted my glasses, and I graoned, because I was noticing Jareds lips. I was also noticing how full and perfect they were…. Lets just say I was having some day dreams that I did not want in my head right now.
"C'mon, don't get all mushy on me now. lets go, unless you want to be late miss goody- two-shoes." He smiled at me one last time, and he started to walk. I think he got to all the way to the end of the narrow hallway before he noticed I wasn't following him. "You coming?"
I nodded, because the truth is I was coming. My heart was coming towards him, and it was doing it against my will. The feelings I suddently had for Jared were the strongest I've ever felt. I was attracted to him. I dont mean that I thought he was cute. I mean I was attracted to him, as in I wanted him badly. I could feel the wall I so carefully built to protect my heart crumbling away.