Letting People In.
Resonantly my life seems to be getting a little better, my grades are going from E's and D's to C's and B's, which is surprisingly making me feel a lot better about myself. You see I thought school didn't matter, as long as your committed to getting a job it will just land in your lap and that's not really a good attitude for being 15. Well my thoughts soon changed when I decided i wanted to be a psychiatric nurse, and found you needed to do to 4-5 year course in university to even be considered for the job. That's what woke me up and got me thinking about my future. Do i really want to end up like my mum? No that is my worst nightmare, and always will be. So i got my grades up to scratch, and i now feel I'm not a complete waste of space............
(Picture of Robin)
Buzzzz...Buzzzzzz... My alarm had to go off again, didn't it? Oh God, I was so not in the mood for it all that day, fuck it. Smack. Just 5 more minutes, please.
'Robin!? For fuck sake, get your arse out of bed, you're going to be late again'I heard mum calling.
Damn it, I knew I had to get out of bed, or else she'd get my brother to come up here and rip the covers off me.
Once I'd applied a load of black eye liner and mascara to my face, I picked out black, ripped skinny jeans with an equally tight, black vest. Yes black was my look.
When I got into school, there was the usual look of disgust, as well as fear. I pretty much laughed in their faces before being greeted by a load of misfits like myself; Joe, Chris and Abby.
Joe and Abby had been dating for let's say about a year, but no me a Chris weren't and had never. He was like a brother to me, always embracing me into his arms after I'd had another one night stand. Every time I had regretted it, and every time I did it again, no matter how many times he tried to reassure me I deserved better; I guess I'd made sure no one would ever love me.
'So Robin, what do you think about coming round to mine later to watch a movie? 'Chris said,
'Yeah I don't see why not, that is if I get my paper finished for English and manage not to get court smoking again at lunch'
Abby interrupted before I could even finish my sentence 'jeez, I swear your starting to smoke weed like every day now? I heard it kills your brain cells if you have too much'
'Abby, your way too uptight about these things, stop reading into it and try it already, you no you want to' Joe chuckled before kissing her on the cheek.
The bell rang for first period and I quickly waved them all good bye and told Chris I'd see him in PE later. I only hung out with Joe and some of his mate's second break as the other two didn't smoke, as for first, well I'd be spending that in detention.
As I walked away from the group I noticed some girls starring and giggling at me. Seriously? Don't they have something better to do with their time? It always pissed me off when people judged me but I was trying to change and ignore them, I've found that going up to them so i can scream in there face does not make me feel any better.
With that said i gave them a glare they'll never forget and carried on walking to first period. I've learnt that people seem to fear me enough to fall silent when i notice them yet still have the courage to judge and mock me.
When i got to the class late, i decided to quickly take my seat at the back and hope i wasn't seen.
'Robin, don't you have something to say to me and the class, again' the teacher said in a serious tone.
I replied quickly in an annoyed voice 'umm course, sorry I'm late...again' and then took my seat away from the judgemental faces.
I've always been the girl that has her hoodie up at the back of the class room, the one that never talks and always falls asleep. I guess it was just my way of showing the world I didn't give a fuck. Little did they know, late at night i went onto the school website to find out what I'd missed out on while sleeping in class, well the teachers just couldn't understand how I got the grades.
Grades were the least of my problems when I had the queen interrupting my thoughts every moment. I mean there's always that one bitch in every school that thinks she's all that because she plasters on makeup and wears pretty pink clothes. Katelyn was that one girl, the gossip queen that was not afraid to tell it right to your face if necessary, I swear if I wasn't in risk of becoming expelled, she would have had it by now.
'Hey Robin, you know that guy you fucked last night, did he sneak out the next morning or did he just fuck you in the bush, like the last man did. I mean have you reached 50 guys yet? Because there's always plenty more' Katelyn sniggered across the room to me, allowing the whole class to hear and burst out into laughter.
'Katelyn, we all know you're not the innocent flower you make out to be, the only reason your giving me a hard time is because you're not getting any, so sorry you are sexually frustrated but maybe you should go talk to your man about that situation.' I confidently said in her direction.
Hearing this the whole class went into shock as Katelyn stood up and turned around to confront me, 'you're still the biggest slut in school, I have no idea why guys even sleep with you, considering you've probably got aids'
'No I'm certain I don't have aids or any STD's, Katelyn and I agree I'm probably the biggest slut in school, but that can easily be changed. Unfortunately for you, your face will forever say scrawny little bitch!'
I felt my face redden towards the end of shouting the words at her, before slumping back into my chair to check my phone. Katelyn freaked and ran out of the class room in anger, just for effect.
Well of course the incident was blamed on me, like always. I cannot even count the amount of times I've been sent to the head masters office.
And so my mum was called in to discuss my outrages behaviour, in the hope that one day It will change. As usual they talked as if i was not there, and then my Mum shouted at me for the next half hour before letting me go to third period.
I'll say it now, I've always loved the lesson, not only because it was PE and I was an exercise freak, but because i could hang out with Chris, it wasn't often that it was just me and him.
Apart from the brief pickups I allowed him to give me after one night stands. I mostly blow him off for whatever reason, and later regretted my choice. Yet i found he was never pissed and always stuck around no matter how many times i pushed him away. He was a real good friend to me, sometimes i found myself wishing for more but soon block the thought out of my head.
'Mystery!' Chris shouted across the field at me, being my nickname, I guess because I couldn't let anyone in.
This interrupted my stretches, and instantly made me break into a smile. As he ran over, I noticed he seemed rather too happy to see me and I started to get a little suspicious by the behaviour.
'Christ Jesus, you look happy' I chuckled as he gave me a friendly hug.
'Oi, I told you not to call me that' he smiled
'It will be fun tonight yeah? i was thinking we could go out clubbing first and go back to yours after' I tried to sneak into the conversation.
'Hmm, so you can ditch me again for a randomer, I'll have to think about that' he replied smiling, yet i knew he was being serious,
'Oh common, I said I wouldn't do that again, just for a couple of hours, i really need a drink to block that Katelyn bitch out of my thoughts.'
'Seriously, what's she gone and done now? I swear she's always getting on your nerves'
'Don't worry about it, it's just the usual, nothing i can't handle, so is that a yes?'
'fine, if i have to. Mind you, I'm not carrying you back to my place again, unless you want me to take advantage of you' he said with a cheeky wink.
'You wouldn't dare. Hey, look how behind we are because of you'
i shoved him, while running off. He'd always been a faster runner so soon caught up with me.
After PE, we decided to skip the rest of the day, because who needs French right? We got into town before seeing anyone we knew and were having a right laugh.
It was summer so i decided ice cream would probably be a good idea, so we made our way to a cute little cafe that were selling cheap homemade ice creams. I got strawberry and cream, while Chris decided to get mint chocolate chip cookies, and i found myself wanting his instead of mine.
'You know, if you want some of mine all you have to do is ask' he said laughing.
'Excuse me, I got strawberry and cream for a reason'
'Sure, sure keep telling yourself that' he silently came out with, looking at his ice cream with a smirk.
I suddenly found myself speechless, i just looked at his smile, it was so perfect, with only one dimple, and kissable lips, damn and his sparkling green eyes now staring back at me in confusion.
'Mystery? Are you alive in there?' he said while waving his hand in front of my face.
That quickly snapped me out of the situation, and I found myself launching my ice cream in his face to avoid the awkward feeling and then running off.
Bad idea, I bumped into a gang of boys.
'Hey guys, it's that bitch i fucked behind the club the other night, all nice and sobered up, she barely looks recognizable' he sniggered before pushing me over.
'Get the fuck off her'
Chris calling from the distance was the last thing i heard before being knocked out.
(Photo of Chris aged 16)
So this is my first chapter to my novel and it really came out of know where as I've not been writing for a while. I'm not sure when I'll next update, probably quite soon as i haven't got much on. I'd really appreciate the feed back and if you want to be kept up to date the please let me know in the comment. Please comment if you like it or not so i know, because I need feed back inorder to know whether i should continue the novel or not... Thanks for reading :)