Blissfully Sweet

This is a continuation of Chapter 5...My past or my present? Who'll be my future?

I pulled the cards out of my pocket and chucked them into the bin. We unhurriedly kissed each other and ran to catch up with Phil and Susie.

“I understand what you mean, she really is a fake,” Susie muttered to me as I walked beside her.

“I know,” I agreed.

The rest of the day went smoothly. There was quite a lot of messing about between the four of us and it seem as though we had all known each other for years. I had bought a new pair of Nike football boots for Phil, a matching baby and dark blue outfit for Susie and me along with other things for myself and a silver watch for Dan with ‘I’m 4 U’ engraved at the back of it. Dan bought me a brown top from Matalan, which he said insisted I must wear when go clubbing in the night. It was about 5:30pm and we all decided to go back to my place in order to get ready to go to Club Tric.

“Oi, Dan,” Phil called, “what’s that on your head?” We all looked up at his head. I couldn’t see anything part from his hair.

“Where?” he asked as he reached up rubbing his head.

“There!” Phil shouted while he reached out and smacked him hard on his head. Everyone burst out laughing. He had been playing tricks on us all day.

“Yeah, yeah, very funny,” he said sarcastically. Everyone calmed down a bit but Phil was in hysterics. “Come ‘ere,” Dan shouted as he began to chase him around Susie and me.

“Look at them,” she laughed, “It’s like we are going out with 7 year olds.”

“You can say that again,” I agreed.

“Oh sorry mate,” Dan apologised after he bumped into someone, but although Susie and me saw we were too chatty to notice.

“C’mon you guys, quit playing around or we’ll never get to the tube station,” I warned them.

“Kemz?” a voice called from behind. We all turned around. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

“Mike,” I said as I froze and dropped all the bags I was holding. Of the all people in the world it had to be Mike.

“Kemz, I need to talk to you, you don’t know how glad I am to see you,” he uttered as he walked closer to me. I hadn’t seen him since that night although I said I was going to talk to him about the whole situation. Dan stepped in front of me to prevent Mike from getting any closer.

“Phil. Susie” he pleaded as he looked at each of them, “I need to talk to her. I love her.”

“Sorry mate, but…not right now,” Phil reasoned with him while he tried to divert him away from me.

“Let’s…let’s talk,” I decided. I stepped in front of Dan.

“No babe, you don’t have to. You’ve told him it’s over before,” Dan tried to persuade me as he pulled me back.

“I know, but don’t you think I owe an explanation?” I questioned as I turned around and looked at him. “Please.” He let go off my arm. “Just sit there I’ll be back.” We walked over to the display window of one of the shops.

“I’m sorry,” I apologised. I looked at his feet. I couldn’t look directly at his face.

“Why are you sorry?” he asked as he raised his hand and pushed my chin upwards so I could look at him.

“For deceiving you, then leaving you,” I answered, as I looked him in the eye. He removed his hand.

“You did that because you loved me,” He disagreed.

“I know,” I agreed.

“Then why don’t you come back?” He asked.

“Because I can’t leave him,” I replied as I looked towards Dan. He was looking straight at us like he was ready to pounce if Mike made the wrong move.

“Why?” he quizzed. “You left me.”

“I’ve put him through too much to let him down now. He is my first love and I love him,” I confessed.

“And what about me? Haven’t we been through a lot? Or do you just love him more?” he interrogated.

“It’s not like that, Mike. I love you as much as I love him. It’s complicated. Before you came along, no man had ever made me feel better than Dan did because I never really got over him. When I was with you, I forgot about him and everything else. So how do you think I felt when I was going to your flat to break the news? The contemplation was too much I broke down. I ran away because I hadn’t seen you in such pain before, I didn’t want to see you in such pain and if I’d went back it would’ve make things much harder for me,” I explained.

“Pain isn’t the word to describe it. My heart is broken Kemz. And I’ll just be deceiving myself if I say there’s plenty more fish in the sea, because you’re the only one who could mend my heart, no matter how much anyone else tries,” he admitted. He raised my arm and placed it on his chest, where his heart laid. “My heartbeat’s abnormal and my head’s killing.”

“I want to but I can’t. I’m with Dan now,” I said.

“You’ve got to Kemz. I miss you so much, your face, your laugh, your smile, your touch, and your kisses. I want you. I need you. I love you,” he was pouring his heart out. But I couldn’t help.

“I miss you too, I love you too and I want you too but I want him as well,” I stressed as I placed my hand on his cheek and looked over to Dan, who was on the verge of coming over to us. Mike’s eyes began to water. He held on to me. I could feel tears filling up inside my eyes. I had to keep mentioning Dan’s name since I had got to the point where I couldn’t trust myself anymore because if I didn’t I would have did something stupid like elope with him at that precise moment.

“Don’t leave me Kemz, don’t leave me,” he begged. “Remember you said that you never want to loss me. Tell me what’s changed?” What was it with me and broken promises?

“Nothing’s changed. Just move on, I’m sorry,” I apologised as I began to cry and slowly kissed him on his lips.

“I’m lost without you Kemz,” he cried. I turned to walk away feeling just like I did when I ran away from him but this time Dan was right behind me and I fell into his arms. I was so upset to be turning away from him again and then to be falling into someone else’s arms when he couldn’t. I buried my face into his chest. Dan began to slowly retreat from Mike. “You’ll be with me someday Kemz, I’ll never give up on you,” he vowed. “I love you Kemz, I’ll never stop. You’ll be with me soon!” Susie, Phil, Dan and I walked off silently. I turned my head to look at him. He was completely shattered all because of me. He stood against the window with his head facing downwards. I could hear the sound of his cry resounding in my head. Dan pulled me closer to him.

“Ssh, it’ll be okay,” Dan continuously repeated in my ear whilst he caressed my head.

“He loves me…I love him,” I cried.

“You’ve made your decision,” Susie reassured me, “it’ll all work out in the end.” I slowly began to wipe my eyes. I had made my decision and it was to be with Dan.

A few minutes later, after the atmosphere was less tense, I looked at Dan as we walked down to the subway, “thanks for staying back.”

“Well it isn’t that easy to watch you girlfriend having an intimate moment with her ex,” he confessed. I hugged him. We entered the tube and sat down. For the first time something felt so weird, like I was in the right place but in the wrong arms. But it must have been nothing. Maybe I was just deluding myself to make it feel like what Mike had said was right; I’d be with him soon. I tried to get the thought out of my head. I was with Dan now. I had made my decision and there was no going back.