"Ok, mother, I have to go.. yes, don't worry, I'll be ok!", I sighed, and just threw the phone at my bed.
I miss my mom, my family...and talking to them long distance will not help me in my situation. I' ll just cry until my eyes burst if I don't stop this. You see, I am fresh off the boat, just 2 weeks since I first came here from Manila. And tomorrow, I'm starting as one of the new surgical resident here at UCSF. I am actually scared, this is a MAJOR step in my career goal. Career goal...hah...all I wanted is to be a wife and a stay at home mom, not a slave that the hospital can call anytime, any day, all day actually, to serve all patients. I looked around at my room, this will be home for, say, 3 years...then off to another place. Or maybe I'll just go back home and practice medicine there...hmm...I don't know. Maybe three years is enough to get over Chris. Oh my god, why can't I move on? Tears are welling in my eyes, and I try to hold it back...but I can't, I just can't...
"I love you..", I whispered to his ear. I looked at him intently, wondering if he heard me or not. Chris turned to me and smiled, his lips pouting but his eyes closed. I kissed him, kissed his lips, his nose, his cheeks, eyes...I want him all by myself, and I know he is mine.
"Time to go, baby.", and he started getting up.
"Oh, noo....not yet, I still want to be with you...pleeaasseee....", I begged.
"Those puppy dog eyes won't work, come on, it's late."
I looked at my watch, jeez, it's just 5pm, what is wrong with this guy. Well, I guess he doesn't want to be stuck in traffic, we have a long drive back.
I stood up, folded the towel, and looked at the gorgeous Taal Lake. Picnic is over, he's gonna drop me off at my house soon. At least it still is a good 2 hour drive, long enough to hold hands with my love. Chris likes to go out of town. We always come here in Tagaytay for picnics, Padi's place in Antipolo to eat barbecue and to just look at the view, Laguna if he wants to stay overnight and swim. Heck, even to watch a movie, he drives an hour away from Manila to this mall in Cainta. I don't mind, I guess he wants to be with me in the car longer, talking about anything and everything.
"Have you studied for your test? Remember, this is a make or break for you, baby." I rolled my eyes at him, he's like the older brother I never had.
"Of course!! You know that graduation is for parents, so I don't want them to miss this", I pouted and he held my hand.
This exam will determine if I will graduate or not. Well, it's more than just to graduate, it's to march for graduation with your parents. I want them to be proud of me, I finished medical school without giving them any problems whatsoever. I finished 4 years of college, got my BS degree, and entered into med school. Now, after 4 more years in medicine, I will graduate. Then comes the board exams. After that, I am ready to be Chris' wife, and mother to his children. I smiled, Chris and I will celebrate our 4 years together. And at the same time next week, his birthday. I can't wait to give him my present. It will be memorable, both to him and to me. I promise.