It's been almost a year I'm about to be promoted to my 2nd year of residency training. Life here for me is a routine; hospital, home, sleep, read, hospital, home...and the cycle repeats itself. Oh, and I also started to like the bitter, tasteless iced tea. Thanks to Val, I am now a regular at the corner Starbucks. Jane is a good barista, says Val. When Jane sees me, she knows what I will order: cheese Danish and iced tea, almost everyday, at 10am. After a good 15 minute break, it's back to my dungeon, either the operating room or the ER.
"So where's your boyfriend?" Jane teases me.
"Val called in sick today, hang-over. But don't tell anyone!" I winked at Jane. Then, when I turned around, I almost spilled my tea at this guy, who obviously was not looking as to where he was going!
"Tsk!" He smirked.
The nerve of this guy!! "I'm sorry!" I just said and I walked away. It's pointless to argue, and I am in no mood to do so.
I sat down in my usual spot, the partly hidden table in the corner. As always, I like to put my knees up my chest and hug 'em, and lean on my side against the wall while sipping my drink. This is my corner, where I can have a quiet 15 minute break.
The jerk and his friend sat down near the entrance. I could see him as he animatedly talks to this other guy. I think I've seen him here before, but I did not really pay any attention. He looks good, blonde hair, shaved face...not bad. Nice body, too. Looks like he has big muscled arms underneath that sleeves, maybe he hits the gym quite often. OMG, I almost forgot, I have a pole dancing class today! I need to cancel it, I need to finish my research paper!! Where the hell is my cellphone??? I'd better get going...I stood up, and hurriedly left. I took one last glance at the cute jerk, and he's now listening intently to the other guy's ramblings. Oh, wow, he's cute...but still a jerk.
"Val, I missed you!!" I hugged my friend.
"Girl, stay away, don't you ruin my reputation!!" and he pushed me away, smiling. It's another day again, and we have our usual case rounds this morning. I was paged overhead, so I have to run to OR to see what's going on.
"I need to go, I can't take my break! You go ahead and I'll see you later!" , and I'm off to whoever summoned me. I want to go with Val to Starbucks, but I remembered the jerk hunk. I don't want to see him, yuck! Wait, yuck!? Really, Grace?
I enrolled myself in a pole dancing class. One of the nurses at Pediatrics was raving about it. I got curious, so I went and checked it out. It was interesting, and I believe it is also a good exercise. I have been doing it for almost 3 months now, I could say I'm pretty good at it. I am a fast learner, especially if I'm interested in something. But I think I need another hobby, as this is starting to bore me. I told Val about it, I need a new diversion.
"You need a man, not a hobby. Oh, no...yes, you need a hobby, GET a man!" Val rolled his eyes. He is funny, that's why I liked being around him. He makes my hospital life bearable, and I seem to forget Chris when I am with him.
Well, I always try to make myself busy, so when I get home, there is no more time to think of Chris. I tire myself so that I'll sleep immediately, hence, the pole dancing almost every day. Before that, I enrolled in a swimming class. Then I took driving lessons. Teresa knew an instructor from a driving school that speaks Tagalog (our language) and I went ahead and scheduled lessons from him. I now have a license, but still no car. I don't see a need to buy one at this time, I don't have anywhere else to go. I take BART, the bus, or walk if I am going somewhere. My aunt visits me once a month during my weekend off, and she's the one who drives me to places.
I've always been chubby, Chris says I'm just curvy. I guess so, because almost all my male classmates looked at my chest first, before looking at my face to talk to me. My friends always teases me about my butt, they say J-Lo is my sister. I don't wear make-up, just colored lip gloss. I also wear glasses but not always, my prescription is not that high, anyway. I just wear them during lectures, so I could see clearly what is written on the white board. Fashion wise, I stick to basics. I'm not the type who wears the latest trends. Besides, I don't want to spend that much money, I'm a jeans and t-shirt girl. I can also wear a dress comfortably, I have my ever reliable LBD if the need arises. Before I met Chris, I don't care if my underwear matches my bra. It's underneath, who would see them, right? But he liked lacy lingerie, he bought me a pair one time. I liked the effect on him when I wore it, it made me feel special. And that's where I indulge, up to now. I admit it makes me feel sexy at times.
I guess Val is right. I need someone to take care of me, make me feel special again. It's been a year of loneliness, I want to move on. But I don't want a rebound relationship, and I still have trust issues. Besides, no one has caught my eye yet. Except the jerk.