Random First Lines: It was still before dawn when Rosie woke the next morning, the moon low on the horizon. Reaching out for her... : Fantasy » Read

Welcome Visitor: Login to the siteJoin the site

The Forbidden Love

Novel By: prepPRINCESS
Romance


Forbidden Love describes the forbidden love between a vampire and a human. Fourteen-year-old Jasmine has everything a teenage girl wants: a perfect family, lots of friends, and awesome grades. There's only one thing missing: a boyfriend. But when she meets the mysterious and cute Jordan, everything changes. She gets adventure, excitement, and a boyfriend, but Jordan has a dark secret to hide. Jasmine is determined to find out what it is, but will his secret cost her her life? Forbidden Love is filled with action, excitement, and romance that will keep you reading until the last page. View table of contents...

Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Submitted: Jul 16, 2008    Reads: 483    Comments: 18    Likes: 7   


Chapter 1

POV: Jasmine

Well, time to get up, I thought to myself as I hit the button on my alarm clock as it buzzed noisily. I hated mornings, I was never a morning person. I groaned as I jumped out of my bed and stumbled into my bathroom. I got ready for school, doing all the basics-putting contacts in, brushing teeth and hair, etc.- and then rushing downstairs for breakfast. I greeted my parents as I fixed myself some Fruity Pebbles cereal. My mom was eating some breakfast, while my dad was reading the newspaper.

“Good morning, sweetie, ready for your first day of high school?” my mom asked.

“Yeah, I guess so,” I said, nervous. Luckily, I was an only child: most of my friends have siblings, and have told me all about their experiences with them, scaring me from ever wanting one myself. I ate as fast as I could, then grabbed my backpack.

“Bye, mom, bye dad,” I said as I ran out the door.

“Bye,” I heard them shouting after me as I ran to the school bus that was just pulling up. I jumped on, excited about my first day of school.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

School was pretty fun. Before 1st period, I caught up with all my friends. We had our own little group with all of us popular girls. We were really tight.

Hey, girl, are you gonna try to find a guy this year?” my friend, but not part of our group, Stacy, asked.

“Uh, I guess so,” I responded quickly, then hurried off to first period. There were a few new people in our class, including some new, hot guys. One in particular caught my eye. He was very hot, with short bronze hair and almost honey colored eyes, eyes that seemed strange, I had never in my entire life seen eyes that shade. He had very pale skin, the palest I had ever seen. He was pretty unique. I had the feeling that I was starting to like him. He was everything I wanted in a guy: cute, smart, funny, unique. But all the girls were already over him. I knew it would be hopeless for me to even try to be noticed by him or even talk to him. At lunch, I sat with my friends: Amy, Maria, Natalie, Sarah, and Diana. We were a really close group of friends. We did everything together.

“Hey, guys,” I said as I sat down after I got my food from the lunch line.

“Hey girl, how was your first day so far?” Diana, the outgoing girl in our group, asked.

“Pretty good,” I said.

“Well, any cute guys?” Natalie, the popular and flirty girl in our group, asked.

“Uhm, maybe one,” I said, blushing. All the girls’ heads instantly turned in my direction.

“Who????” they all asked at once.

“Uhm, his name’s Jordan,” I said, blushing even harder.

“Oh, that new really hot guy that most of the girls are stalking?” Diana asked. I nodded my head and began to look over at Jordan, daydreaming. All of a sudden, I was brought back to reality when the bell rang ending the lunch period.

“Come on, girl, snap outta it!” Natalie said, pushing me playfully as everyone started making their way out of the cafeteria. I walked to my locker and began to grab my things for 5th period when I realized, to my delight, that Jordan’s locker was 2 lockers down from mine! This is my chance… it’s now or never! I thought to myself as he walked to his locker and began to grab his books. He looked in my direction, and I immediately looked away, becoming suddenly nervous and shy that he had caught me looking at him. The rest of the day was pretty normal, even though my new crush hadn’t even really noticed me, but I didn’t think he would. I mean, he probably couldn’t see anything past the circle of girls that surrounded him when he walked to each class, and even at lunch. I walked home by myself, wanting time to think. I might as well move on, it’ll be hopeless for him to notice me, I thought to myself. Soon I arrived at my house and walked in, greeting my cat, Princess, as I walked upstairs to my room. My parents didn’t get off until 5:00, so I had 2 hours to myself. I pulled up a word document and started to write. Whenever I’ve got something big in my life going on, it always helps me to vent through writing poetry. I ended up writing a poem entitled: Will He Ever Notice Me? and saved it in my poem folder. I logged on to IM and saw that Natalie, Amy, and Diane were online. I talked to them in a conference for a while, and then logged off when I realized it was 4:30. I still needed to do my homework. I worked on it and finished it just as my parents got home. I went downstairs and helped my mom cook dinner. After dinner, I went upstairs and got ready for bed, while daydreaming of Jordan. I climbed into bed and fell asleep, dreaming of Jordan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

POV: Jordan

I was walking to my 1st class on my 1st day of 9th grade at a new school in Bedford, Indiana, when I saw the most beautiful human that I had I ever seen. I mean she was gorgeous, for a human, at least. I had seen much prettier vampires, but I knew if she was one, she’d be the prettiest. I’m a 100 year-old vampire(though I look around 14-18), you see, trying to blend in with the humans as to not raise suspicion. I looked at her, but regrettably, my vampire tendencies kicked in and I could see her pulse in her neck and her blood running through her veins and I could smell her blood. Her blood was the best I had ever smelled in my whole life as a vampire. I grimaced, because I knew that I could easily kill her, and her being near me was dangerous. I was being stalked by tons of girls today, so she probably would think that I already had a girlfriend or something. I wanted to say something to her as I was at my locker(2 down from hers), but I got nervous. Then I thought I could feel her staring at me, snapped my head in her direction, but she quickly looked away. Maybe she does like me, but that doesn’t make talking to her easier, but still, she’s a human, I’m a vampire, it’s dangerous, I thought to myself as I grabbed my books and walked to my next class. I wanted to wait and gain my courage before I would even dream of talking to her, she was the prettiest girl in the school, making me seem ugly in her presence(and according to all the girls at this school, I’m pretty hot and good looking). I would just have to watch and wait before I could talk to her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


7

Email this story Email this story | Print Story Print Story | Add to reading list

Comments:

That was much better! Great job! There's still a lot of work to be done.

Take a look at my story called 'Into the Night', cause it has a lot of descriptions.

Your charicters are starting to pop a little, but they're still missing something. It's up to you as the writer to figure out what that something is! It our jobs. I would encourage you to look at some of my other storys, and pay attention to detail.

It might help you to see every moment in your story, as if you were watching a movie. But, it cant be just any movie. You have to remember that I cant see the movie. You have to describe everything to me. I dont know if she has red, blond, brown, or purple hair! What color eyes does she have? Any birthmarks? Does she have white skin, or is she another nationality.

Do you understand what I'm saying? Well, if you really reread your story, once for spelling/grammar and once for sentance flow, it may help you to become a better writer.

Always remember that the best writers dont have perfect spelling/grammar. Their storys seem real. Stories have to have some logic. They cant be totally unbelieveable.

For example: In my English class, we had to tell stories about our names. You could choose to make up a story, or tell the truth. One boy told us that he was abandoned in a barn, then five days later the farmer found him. If he was an infant, how does he know it was five days? How would the farmer know? You cant pick up a baby and say 'This baby is five days old!' Stories have to be believable, even fantasies.

Happy writing and good luck!

Posted: Jul 17, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks for your help!

I Really Like this one, but Jordon seems Creepy with all his Teleporting. Suspicious. *Reads next Chapter*

Posted: Jul 18, 2008

Author Comment:

Trust me, he's actually really sweet and not creepy at all, though he may come off like that at first. Thanks for commenting!

ixluvx2xwritex2 has a point! Other than a few minor flaws...It was really good so far! I will have to read on!

Posted: Jul 18, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks for commenting!

Awhh, cute :] I liked it

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it.

Awwwwwww i liked it!

Posted: Aug 6, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks, I'm glad you did.♥

i liked this one better than your first first chap, did that make sence? lolz

Posted: Aug 6, 2008

Author Comment:

Yes, it did, which only you would know, since you're my bff and only u saw my 1st 1st chap,so, yeah, I understand, and I'm glad you liked it!♥

I really liked your story!

Posted: Aug 6, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks for reading and commenting!♥

Good job on the first chapter :]
Off to the second chapter!

Posted: Aug 6, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks for the support! Hope you like the 2nd chapter!

:) I'm loving this so far!

Posted: Aug 7, 2008

Author Comment:

I'm glad you do! Thanks for reading!

Good job so far! I'll have to keep reading! I think your characters could use a little more discription, but other than that, it's fantastic!

Would you mind taking a look at my novel, If Only I Loved Him? Your feedback would be greatly appreciated, basically because it's my first novel.

Posted: Aug 7, 2008

Author Comment:

Awesome, this is my 1st novel, too, so feedback is appreciated. Good luck on writing yours, and wish me luck on writing mine! I'll try to read yours, too. Thanks for commenting!♥

girl
(not registered user)

this story it just the same with twilight:(

Posted: Aug 7, 2008

Author Comment:

If you read on, the plot is totally different.

That was really interesting. I think that your idea sounds really really good, and I'm excited to read more. But I do have a few things I noticed. It's really choppy. You went from one scene to one scene to one scene to one scene. It was like a play. And it didn't make to much sense, and wasn't very fun to read when it was ok she went to school. Then they met. Then she goes to lunch and he says hi. Then he walks her home. You need to put more thought into the story, make more happen. And she met him really soon into the story. You need to take your time, and think it all through. Other than those few things I thought it was good:)

Posted: Aug 10, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks for commenting!

Wow that all happened really fast. It was a good start though. It had a few misspellings. This reminded me alot of the book twilight and vampire diaries if you've ever heard of them. I'm exited to read the next chapter though. So good job so far o and try and make it more descriptive cause like in the beginning it was pretty boring. But i'll read more to see where the plot is going.:)

Posted: Aug 10, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks for reading and commenting!

I am loving the plot, but just a few things. The pacing needs a little work. Don't be afraid to write too much, because as long as the story flows well, it'll read like butta! Also, I've heard of boy-crazy girls, but these characters are something else! It seemed like that's all the dialogue consisted of in the story. Go deeper with your characters. Having a boyfriend would be nice, but strong girls shouldn't make that their main objective. Just a little thing I'm trying to promote. Anyway, nice job, and good story idea!

Posted: Aug 10, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks for commenting!

mandy
(not registered user)

it's awesome so far. i'm gonna read some more!

Posted: Aug 17, 2008

Author Comment:

Great! Yay! I'm really glad that you like it!♥

I liked it...i'm going to read some more. I have to say, its alot like twilight...he looks the same, and said the same stuff as edward. but good.

Posted: Aug 17, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks for reading and commenting!

mizoko
(not registered user)

great job!

Posted: Aug 24, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks! Keep on reading!

Nice story. Its pretty good. You should add a bit more detail though. Anyhow its a really good storry so far. :) Out of 10 it gets a 7.3

Posted: Sep 1, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks for commenting!♥



Add Your Comments:

Your Name:

Spam protection control::

© Copyright 2008 prepPRINCESS All rights reserved. prepPRINCESS has granted theNextBigWriter, LLC non-exclusive rights to display this work on Booksie.com.

About | News | Contact | Your Account | TheNextBigWriter | Advertise

© 2008 TheNextBigWriter, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy Policy.