"Liz, honey, what are you doing?" my mom asked, walking into my room.
I was lying on my bed with the pillow on my face. I didn't answer her.
"You have company, sweetie," she said, sitting down on my bed.
"Who is it?" I asked, taking the pillow off of my face.
"Who always comes?"
I got up and gave her a hug, walking out the door. When I got downstairs, I found Travis sitting on the couch. "Hey Trav," I said, sitting down next to him.
"Whoa, now, what's with the new name?"
"Well, you know how I used to call you Ellie?"
"And you didn't like it?"
"But I don't like Liz."
"Ok…" I said, not getting his point.
"So, since I can't call you Ellie, and I don't like Liz, I'm going to call you Elle."
"You don't like it?"
I shrugged. "S'alright."
"Well, you better get used to it!"
I shrugged again.
He rolled his eyes and leaned back against the couch. "So," he said, "What do you want to do today?"
I wrung my hands, wondering if I should actually ask him what was on my mind.
"Earth to Elle…"
"Elle. It's Elle."
"I don't like Elle!"
"I don't like Liz!"
"Well, it's not Elle."
He raised his eyebrows.
"Hey!" I said. "It's my name!"
He sighed. "Fine, Liz, what do you want to do today?"
"Um, will you promise to do it?"
He frowned. "You know I'd do anything for you."
"Will you take me to a construction site?" I asked.
He frowned. It was obvious he was confused. He didn't know where it had happened. He had no idea what I was actually asking. Some people might think that I'm insane for wanting to go back to the place where it all happened, but I have to see it. I have to. I'm not sure why I have to go back, all I know is that I need to go back there. It was something that had been consuming my mind for the last couple of days.
"Sure," Travis said. "But why do you want to go there?"
I shrugged, trying to smile. "Just feel like it."
"Okay, well, let's go."
I hugged my mom, who had come back downstairs, goodbye and then followed him out to his car. We got in and took off in the general direction. I knew where the house was. I had looked it up on Google Maps. I directed him to the half-built house. When we pulled up, my breath caught. I didn't make any move to get out, just sat there staring at it.
"Get out! Get out of the car!"
I could hear his raspy voice clearly as if he was yelling in my ear. And just like last time, I listened to him. I pushed the car door open and hopped out.
"Get into the house!"
I felt the gun pressing into my back as if it were actually there. I walked forward towards the door. When I stepped inside, it all came rushing in at once.
The reality of what happened.
The pain and suffering.
The utter disgust.
All of it flooded my mind.
I walked over to the post. There was a stain in the wood where I had vomited.
"You stay nice and quiet now, and I'll make you feel real nice."
I shuddered and glanced around the room. Wouldn't they have cleaned this place up? Why was it still so obvious that something had happened? There was blood on the wall and the floor, dried, obviously, but still there.
"I'll make the sick go away. I'll make it all better."
I felt heat on the side of my neck, as if he was breathing down it. Tears were already streaming down my face. I knew it was a bad idea coming here, but I had to.
"Liz? Why'd you want to come here?" I heard Travis ask from behind me.
The second time it happened was worse than the first. I wasn't able to completely remove my mind from what was happening. I was completely there.
"You're so pretty," he whispered into my ear.
I almost puked again just from his voice. I glared at him. I hated this man, hated him with all of my heart. He was sick and twisted.
"So, so pretty."
After he finished for the second time, he lay next to me, holding me. I started crying, but he didn't notice. I then realized that he had fallen asleep. My gaze instantly locked on the gun again. I didn't even think about what I was doing. I shifted so that his head was resting on my chest, as much as I hated it, it was needed. Then, I swiftly brought my knee up and kneed him in the nose. I heard a distinct crunch, and then he was screaming.
He let out a string of curse words and glared down at me, holding his nose. Blood leaked through his fingers. I couldn't help but feel satisfied.
He grinned devilishly at me, taking his hand away from his face.
That was the face that haunted my dreams.
His nose was crooked, blood dripping down his face onto his chest. He bared his fuzzy, crooked, yellow teeth at me. He was sweating and his shirt showed it. Large pit stains showed obviously on his light blue shirt.
And then he did the unthinkable.
He raped me again.
As he did it, blood from his nose dripped down on me.
When he finished, I twisted my body again and puked. Like last time, because of the gag, I couldn't get all of it out of my mouth. The gag made most of it stay in my mouth. The pure taste of bile was so strong that I puked again. I started to choke on my own vomit, and that's when he finally realized that it was time for the gag to come off. He moved towards me and untied it. The second it left my mouth, I sucked in air. I must've breathed too quickly, because I vomited again. He held my hair back as I did.
He began stroking the back of my neck. "Let it out. Let it all out," he whispered in my ear. "We have so much more to do…"
And that's when I slipped into the role. I'm not sure if it was a conscious decision or not, but I did.
When I finished, I turned back to him and smiled sweetly. "Oh yes," I said. "But it would be easier if I had…access with my hands." It killed me to say it, but I had to. I had nothing else to do.
He grinned back at me. "Now we're talking," he whispered in my ear. He kissed the base of my neck and reached into his pocket. He walked around the post and began to unlock the handcuffs.
My eyes locked on the gun again.
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