Hi Friend

Chapter 19

Scha sat in her office with a mixed feeling. Zen’s distraught and sad face keep playing in her head. Even though he tried to act normal in front of her, she could still see the hurt in his eyes. Gosh, she had badly hurt his feelings. She had broken a heart of a man who loves her. The ways he had said and the ways his eyes glow when he told her those words had made her see right through his heart. He had love her with all his heart. If she hasn’t fall in love with someone else she would have accepted his love.

She remember her mom used to tell her, “Love someone who loves you NOT someone whom you love because that loves you will love you with all his heart,” and she knows Zen would do just that, but.......?

BUT how she could love him if her heart is yearning for someone else? Someone else... she chuckled. That someone else didn’t even know her feelings and she didn’t even know if he felt the same towards her. What happen if that someone rejected her love? Will she be as hurt as Zen’s feelings right now? Will Zen laughed at her for rejecting his love and sought for someone else’s love? No, Zen wouldn’t do that. Zen is the most wonderful and charming guy to ever do that to her. If she ever hurt, Zen would be there for her. She knew he would, even though she had hurt him, she knew he would never leave her side. Yeah, Zen is such a wonderful guy and she is such a dork. She admitted to herself. Dee Dee would definitely smack her head for rejecting Zen and all this while Dee Dee was right. Zen loves her

She hasn’t told anyone about Zen confession, not even to Dee Dee. She didn’t want their friends to cast an awkward or sorry look at Zen. Maybe they will be supportive to him and scolded her for breaking his heart but she think that’s the last thing Zen ever wanted people to treat them. Just look at the way he treated her even after she had hurt his feelings. He still treat her the same like he used to but of course this time the glow in his eyes wasn’t there anymore. It’s gone. She knows that he has acted that way because he doesn’t want her to have the guilty feeling towards him. Gosh, she knows that everyone will say that she is so stupid for rejecting someone like him, someone as wonderful and charming as him. He even turned romantic. She smiled dreamingly remembering the romantic dinner she had with him.

She heaved loudly. Does she feeling regret right now? Regret that she rejected him? No, she convinced herself, she’s not, she actually feeling guilty. Guilty of hurting her bestfriend. But how long does this guilty feelings going to hunt her? Everytime she thought of Zen, the memory last night came back to her especially his hurt and sad face. Damn it, she scold herself, she need to do something – something to make him cheerful again and forget about her. Maybe the only way to make those things happened is by avoiding him. Maybe time will heal his feeling and time will heal their friendships back to normal. Yeah, she nodded to herself, she need to avoid Zen and let him heal his heart. That’s the best things to do for the moment until both she and Zen had forgetten about the last night incidents.

Maybe now she should just concentrate on HIM.

HIM.... him who never even bother to reply to her tons of e-mails. Yeah, TONS OF E-MAILS and also her comments on his writings. Even though she had commented on them earlier, she commented again and again and normally he would response but this time it just black. Nothing from him not a single word, ever since the last time when he told her that the girl he admired doesn’t seem to fall in love with him. Is he feeling so badly hurt right now that he didn’t even have to heart to write anything? She need to encourage him to write. If he’s hurt she’s going to be the one to mend his broken heart. She will try to tell him her feelings but how is she going to do that when he didn’t even response to her mail? Don’t give up, she told herself. She need to keep on writing to him until he response to her. Then she will admit her love to him. Yes she will confessed her love to him and she didn’t care if he rejected her later on. At least she would know what he’s feeling towards her. What will happen if he rejected her? She asked herself. No, she would not let the negative feeling control her. He will accept her and if he does reject her, she will deal with her feelings later.

Straigten up, she looked at her computer and begin to type, “Hi my darling friend. Where have you been? Please write some beautiful and romantic poems to me again. I’ve missed it. I missed it so much. If your girl didn’t like to read it let her be. Write one for me please. I’m begging you. You not going to let me down, are you? Please, I’m waiting. By the way since I’m not good in writing any poems and stuff I’m dedicating this song to you. It’s my favourite. Title of the song is ‘My Wish’ by Rascal Flatts. Listen to the lyrics carefully because it is what is implied in my heart,” she wrote and end it with, “Love you and missed you always – Scha.”

MY WISH – RASCAL FLATTS

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow
And each road leads you where you want to go
And if you're faced with the choice and you have to choose
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you

And if one door opens to another door closed
I hope you keep on walkin' til you find the window
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile
But more than anything, more than anything

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish

I hope you never look back but you never forget
All the ones who love you and the place you left
I hope you always forgive and you never regret
And you help somebody every chance you get

Oh, you'd find God's grace in every mistake
And always give more than you take
But more than anything, yeah more than anything

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish, yeah yeah

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish
(My wish for you)

This is my wish
(My wish for you)
I hope you know somebody loves you
(My wish for you)
May all your dreams stay big
(My wish for you)

*****

Laying on his bed, Zen was relieved that he didn’t have to face Scha the whole day today. Scha has been having a whole day meeting with clients to dicuss on her next project, while he is busy with his own project. Zen was thinking maybe she’s trying to avoid him too because she would normally informed him about the meeting before leaving but this time she didn’t. This is what Zen afraid going to happen when Scha knows his true feelings. She told him that she wanted them to remain friends but she’s the one who been avoiding him. Shouldn’t it be the other way round?

Good thing he was so busy with his own project and its help him to stop thinking about Scha. Thankfully, Luna is also around and she has been a lot of help. She wasn’t in tonight because she has a fashion show to attend and he regret that he had denied her offer to follow her. At least if he did, he wouldn’t feel bored right now and starts to think about Scha again. Thinking about Scha really hurts right now.

Ignoring the hurt and the frustrations he’s feeling, Zen got up from his bed and sat in front of his computer. Something is pulling him to open his writing’s website. He hasn’t been writing anything for nearly a week now. Reluctantly, he log-in and saw a new message appreared on the screen indicating that there’s a new comments on his writing. Open it up he saw a comment coming from Scha herself.

It’s reads “Hey friend, I missed your poems.”

Looking at her comments, reminds him to all her e-mail to him which he didn’t response. Should he open and read it now? He asked himself. Can he read her e-mail now knowing that she’s in love with Jeff? Can he go through with her bragging about her love to Jeff? Zen sighed. Maybe he should just delete her mail and forget about it. Never response to her e-mail ever again and forget about her. He need to move on he told himself. Yes, that’s what he’s going to do. DELETE HER MAIL AND CLOSE HIS ACCOUNT ON THE SITE FOREVER.