I met my dad when I was eight.
A man pulled me out of the back of my mother’s car. My leg was broken in about 60million pieces. He pulled me out of my mother’s car and he asked me where my parents were. I looked back at my mother who lay in her seat. She looked broken. She looked so broken and she wasn't moving. So I pointed to my mother like an idiot. The man that was helping me looked, like an idiot and he lifted me and carried me away from the car. Instead of walking, he ran. Then, there was fire. We both sat crying together and, eventually Beth came. She started crying and panicking and then, she did the craziest thing ever, she let me sleep over her house.
Even though I’m the same sex as her she’s always treated me as if I’m not a human. She doesn't give too much of a shit where I belong or who takes care of me. But, she let me sleep on her floor beside her couch. She called my dad that night and the two argued over the phone and her stupid boyfriend came over.
In the middle of the night, as I slept, he touched me in several places so that summer, Jessie Gorman shot him in between his eyes.
My father is Jessie Gorman.
I met him at the airport the day after my mother died and he gathered me up into his arms and I'm convinced that he's loved me since that day. He called me doll and princess and every awesome name you could ever imagine. He loved me and my older brother Theodore that seemed to float around in my father’s life since birth.
I never thought it was fair. That Jr. has known my father longer but, I’ve never actually said much about it. Besides, I’ve always been daddies little girl.
Then, Jessie Gorman shot him in the side of his head just above his ear. And his princess found him stretched out on the ground leaking when she was 16. Jessie Gorman left his very own daughter to his men, the men that killed people. He left me to Jessie Jr. who has an acute problem with sex.
So, I ran away. I ran away with my best friend Lisa.
Lisa and I have been friends since I came here. Her father is some type of drug lord. He would usually stop by and bring a couple of half-naked girls and they would violate these girls and my father would let Jessie Jr. violate them. Lisa and I called them Barbie dolls because for long periods at a time our fathers would play with them behind closed doors.
Now I know that they were only sluts.
Lisa lies on my lap on the train that seems to go nowhere and she plays with the small string on her bracelet. Some thug she'd been a little interested in gave it to her. She said he reminded her of her father. She turns forward to look up at me and she asks me where we're going to go and I tell her that I don't know. I tell her I don't know and it's about time for us to get off of the train. She links arms with me and laughs shuffling her feet.
"Lenni let’s go party." She whines pulling me. She drags me forward biting her lip. I tell her we shouldn't because then we'll spend all of our money.
See, that’s my problem. I usually go out and buy really expensive drinks to attract really attractive guys. Those guys only sleep with me for a night usually. Once, just before leaving me, a guy told me that I was awesome and punched my shoulder like I was such a great sport.
“We can hide the money.” She cackles beside me. “We can hide it in my hair.” She giggles tucking a dollar into her thick curls. I smile to her and I pull her neck into my elbow kissing her cheek.
She asks me what my ultimate plan is and for a second I freeze because I only ran away to get away. There has never been a plan. I bite my lip and I look around the dark streets speckled with randoms and I laugh. I tell her that the plan is to go party and I think that she’s more than happy to agree with me.
So, we party and the only thing I remember from that night is the leather jacket that peeled through the crowd to catch me before I ran away.