It was all a dream
-everything that happened before now.
-everything that lead up to it
all up until I woke up
Then I returned.
To the Ground
There was a foot that shook in the corner of my eye. I wasn't watching it directly but I was watching it with the corner of my eye. It held a blur, it's very own blur. It shook fast. I was staring at a blank sheet of stock white paper. I remember this moment as if it'd only happened seconds ago and I'd only just had time to take down the contents of it's existence.
When I looked up from that sheet of paper, some sense of time reset. I felt less like I hadn't been myself watching that foot shake. I felt like the me buried underneath me had come back when I stopped watching it.
I looked around the classroom and I bit my lip. I bit my lip to check if I'd been dreaming because in any world, when I didn't feel so alone I had to have been dreaming. This feeling was the feeling of the sun shining on your face on the first hours of summer. It was like the sound of your favorite color. It was finger painting on a never ending canvas or a head massage. It was like everything that I've ever felt was coiled up into my face trying to burst from my cheeks and forehead.
He stared at me with that side way smile and I smiled back at him because my body made me. I had to. I was genuinely happy. I was happy because he noticed me that day. The day was January seventeenth of 2013. My finger tips felt like ice sickles as they tapped against my cheek. I was trying to hide my astonishment. And when he walked to me he smiled that sly smile and I remember knowing that he would destroy me sooner than I could even expect.
He touched my arm and pinched the wrinkled skin in the pit of my elbow together, making it comfortably fit into the vat of his hand. I was holding in a breathe so that the moment would last longer.
So my breathing became more condensed and the palms of my hands became clammy against the side of my body and the book I held. He leaned in closer to take in the perfume that I'd put on that morning. I thanked the moon and the sun for my decision. His eyes met mine as he pulled away and he slid his hand around the book. I knew the cover was moist with the excitement of our touch. He flipped through it skipping over highlighted phrases and love notes.
"Do you want to go to a party with me tomorrow night?" he asked me as he handed me the book. I grabbed it and hugged it up against my chest as I slowly nodded. I'd have to think of some way to get away from my parent because we were going to have dinner then. We were going to have dinner and talk about stuff when I wanted to be out with him having fun and getting to know him and... and falling in love. I'd be trying to fall in love that weekend. And I even told him yes even though I should have said no; and if I would have said no then I would have never found that dream, wrapped in deep red wrapping paper. I tore into it like a child on Christmas. I tore into the dream that started later that week in the distant morning wrapped in his arms.
I woke in his arms after telling my parents that I would be going to sleep in my car if I got too drunk. I lied to them and slept in his bed with him. I could tell you all how it happened but that would have to be slammed up against the pages of another chapter of this book, because that makes the moment of my dream. Now all that I can tell you is that I accepted his invitation with a head nod and I wrote my number in blue ink against his wrist and he told me to spell my name out for him. That's how he remembered me; through my hand writing.
Character photos were requested and I thought that I'd do them since I haven't done them in forever so I posted them for those who are interested!