Today has been pure crap for me. My head wasn't in school, my
mind was on Caylee. How bad I want her back, I don't want to lose
her. Mackenzie tried cheering me up. That night because it was a
Friday I went to the beach bonfire with the rest of the gang.
"Hey Ash." Allie said when I showed up I could tell she has been
texting Caylee "Sup?" I asked and I went to the guys "Hey Ash!
Long time no see!" Nick said, I use to come to this thing every
weekend and I would get tore up. "Want a beer?" Nick asked he had
a Budlight in his hand, I had Caylee's voice in my head saying
"Don't do it" But because I'm trying to forget about her "Yes." I
said and he handed it to me. "So what made you decide to come
tonight?" Nick asked "Oh I needed a change. I needed a break." I
said "You and that uptight chick break up?" Nick asked "She isn't
uptight." I said "Yeah." Mackenzie said and I shot her a look.
"Sorry. But you're fair game now honey." Mackenzie said and I
just shook my head.
By ten o'clock I was already wasted. It has been since June
since I stopped drinking so the beer really got to me quickly.
Mackenzie walked up "Dude, you're crunk." Mackenzie said "Nope."
I said "Go home, you're drunk." Mackenzie said and I shook my
head. "Can we go walking on the beach?" I asked and Mackenzie
nodded "Did you make up your mind yet?" Mackenzie asked "No I
haven't." I said "But you should have." Mackenzie said "No."I
said and she nodded. I looked at my phone and it was vibrating, I
looked at the caller ID "Caylee" "Hello?" I asked "Hi." Caylee
said "Are you okay?" She asked "NO. I mean yes." I said "You're
drunk aren't you?" Caylee asked "No. YEs." I said "Forget this.
I was going to give you another chance but now no." Caylee said
and she hung up. I looked at Mackenzie "I blew it." I said and
she handed me a cup "Vodka." She said and I gulped it down.
I woke up the next morning in my own bed. With a pounding
headache and an upset stomach. "Ash?" Aunt Alice asked "Yes?" I
asked even though it killed me "We need to talk." She said "How
did I get home?" I asked after the vodka I don't remember
anything so far. "Mackenzie and Nick brought you home. Uncle Carl
is on his way up." She said "How many beer did you drink?" Uncle
Carl asked "Five that I know of, one thing of Vodka." I said
"What made you decide to drink?" Uncle Carl asked "Caylee and
Ashton are no longer a couple." Aunt Alice said "Son, that is
still no excuse." Uncle Carl said "I know. She hates me even more
now." I said "Well you are going to be mad at us." Aunt Alice
said and I looked at her "No cell phone, no car keys, no going
out, school and here. That's it." Aunt Alice said "For two
weeks." Uncle Carl said and I nodded I deserved that. "Can I at
least text Caylee a message?" I asked "YEah." Aunt Alice said and
To Caylee:I am so sorry about all that has happened. I'm
grounded for two weeks, but once I'm ungrounded I'm bugging you.
I want us to work out. I know you are mad at me right now but I
truly do love you Caylee. You are all I want. You are the girl
for me. I was stupid. I shouldn't have kissed Mackenzie, she's a
friend. You are my best friend, my lover, my soul mate, my better
half. Please forgive me. Anyways I will text you when I'm
ungrounded. I love you Caylee.
I get woken up at five am to a text, I hung up on Ashton last
night after he was drinking. Ashton: I am so sorry about all that
has happened. I'm grounded for two weeks, but once I'm ungrounded
I'm bugging you. I want us to work out. I know you are mad at me
right now but I truly do love you Caylee. You are all I want. You
are the girl for me. I was stupid. I shouldn't have kissed
Mackenzie, she's a friend. You are my best friend, my lover, my
soul mate, my better half. Please forgive me. Anyways I will text
you when I'm ungrounded. I love you Caylee. I rolled my eyes at
the text, but I do want to talk to him. I do love him. I slowly
got up and I put my contacts in and I change into my dance
clothes with my arieal shoes and I go leave a note for my mom.
After I leave I go to the dance studio and I put the Give Me
Love song on and I close my eyes and I begin working on my dance
move for the audition I'm working on. I push myself to my limits
and then beyond that. I don't even realize when somebody walks
in. "You are for sure going to get in!" Madam Casey said and I
looked up "Sorry, I didn't think you would mind." I said "No, I
have always told you girls you are welcome anytime." She said I
went over to my phone and looked it was nine am, I have been
working on my dance for three hours. "You are welcome to stay."
Madam Casey said "Thank you but I need to go home." I said "Care
to run it one more time? I came in half way." She said and I
nodded, I closed my eyes to picture her not being here. I went
through it as if I was right in front of the judges. "You did
great! You are going to do great!" Madam Casey said and I nodded
"Thank you. I will see you around one." I said and she smiled at
I go home and all the family including Lauren is at the
breakfast table "Morning." I said and they smiled. I sat beside
Liam and Lauren "Guess what." My mom said "What?" I asked "Jason
is coming today." My mom said and I nodded, Bryson, Sean, and
Landon all smiled at that. "Good." I said and she smiled at me.
"What time? I have dance from 1-3." I said "Around four." My mom
said and I nodded. After breakfast which I didn't touch anything
but my orange juice. I went to my room and Lauren followed me
"Are you okay?" She asked me "Yes." I said "Caylee Marie don't
give me that bull of an answer." She said and I smiled at her
"This is why you are my best friend." I said and she smiled at me
"No I'm not. Ashton texted me this morning. He's sorry, he
loves me. That line." I said "It's not a line." Lauren said and I
rolled my eyes at her. "Don't disagree with me. I'm pregnant."
Lauren said and I giggled "Yes you are. Hope!" I said speaking to
Not only was I without my technology devices I had to do yard
work all day with a major hangover. I let Hoss outside all day
while I did the yardwork, it's October but it's still in the high
70's low 80's. No matter what I'm doing Caylee is still on my
mind. I just hope I can work it out with her when I'm ungrounded
finally. A car pull up, a car I recognize as my mother's and I
gulp. "Ashton Jacob Wakefield." My mother said sternly and I put
down the tool and I looked at her "Yes ma'am?" I asked putting on
my southern charm although I know it wouldn't work. "How could
you? What were you thinking? You saw me. You know how hard it
is." My mom said "Yes ma'am I know. I screwed up." I said "I'm
just glad you didn't drive home." She said "I'm sorry mom." I
said "Please don't do anything like that again." My mom said
"Yes ma'am I won't." I said and she smiled at me "How long are
you grounded for?" She asked me "Two weeks" I said "Not long
enough." She said "Mom don't!" I said and she laughed at me "I
know. I know." She said and I smiled at her "I love you mom." I
said "I love you too. I have to pick up your siblings." She said
and I waved good-bye.
It's Friday night and I'm off of work, so I'm just hanging out
with Caylee in our bedroom with our fake babies. I'm in the
rocking chair next to the baby crib "Can you believe next week
I'm twenty weeks?" I asked and Caylee smiled at me "I know. This
year is flying by." Caylee said "Do you think this will work?" I
asked "Lauren you worry too much. Yes it will. You have love and
support from all of us." Caylee said and I smiled at her "I mean
my own mom hasn't even contacted me yet to see how I am, how her
grandchild is, what her grandchild is. Your mom on the other hand
as already went out and bought everything Hope is going to need."
I said and Caylee smiled at me. I haven't talked to Nate since I
told him the sex, he has avoided me which I don't really mind
because I don't want him around Hope. It feels good spending some
quality girl time with Caylee, no guys, no work. "Do your
dance!"I said and Caylee nodded and she put on Give Me Love, and
she worked on her dance and I giggled at her.