I'm walking home with Caylee, Lauren, Anderson and Chelsea
and of course the babies. "That was a very good dinner." I said
"Care to head to the beach?" I asked again "Parenthood calls."
They all said and I nodded. We went to the house and I kissed
Caylee goodnight. I went back to the beach where my old group
was. "Are you going to drink man?" One guy asked me "His tight
wad of a girlfriend won't let him." Another said "My girlfriend
does not control me. I just don't want to drink." I said "Well
you should." He said "No. I'm just here for some fun." I said
"Drink is some fun." He said "I don't drink anymore man." I said
and they just rolled their eyes at me. I saw Mackenzie though
"Hey Ash! Where's your chick?" She asked "Oh she's home." I said
"Well try this." Mackenzie said and she had something in her hand
which appeared to be a joint."No Mac." I said "It's not bad." She
said "Just one?" I said and she nodded.
One led to more and I texted Aunt Alice that I was spending
the night at Jake's a place I haven't been in over a year. "Drink
too?" Mackenzie added "No drinks." I said and she nodded. I went
to Caylee's instead and I climbed up her window and I smiled at
Caylee "Hey baby." I said "Ash, you stink." Caylee said "No I
don't." I said and I looked at Caylee "Can I kiss you?" I asked
"Sure." Caylee said and I could tell she was starting to wonder
about me. But I kissed her and kissing led to more and before
Caylee could protest I was on top of her and we did it. I knew I
didn't had anything protection on but I had a major buzz going on
and I didn't want to tell Caylee that. "Ashton you're buzzed."
Caylee said "I had a joint or two." I said "Get OUT!" Caylee said
"OUT!" She said and I didn't protest. I actually did go to Jake's
where I worked on my buzz some more, I wanted to stay on this
buzz because I knew I was in trouble with Caylee.
After dinner I came home with Lauren and Anderson. Anderson
went to take a shower and Lauren and I were sitting on the couch
with the girls in our lap "My Maddie girl!" I said and I kissed
Maddie's cheek who giggled "I love this little girl." I said "I
love my baby girl too." Lauren said and I giggled at her. After
awhile Lauren wanted some icecream so they went out to go some
icecream for all of us. I put Maddie in her playpen with the baby
monitor on, because she was already asleep I didn't want to move
her just yet. When I went to my room Ashton had climbed up the
window and I knew something was up.
" Hey baby." He said giving me a creepy smile "Ash, you
stink."I said "No I don't." He said and he looked at me getting
closer "Can I kiss you?" He asked "Sure." I said unsure but he
kissed me anyways and with a bit of force he laid me on the bed
and I could tell he was in a mood. I tried pushing him off of me
but he wouldn't listen and wouldn't move. All I could smell on
him was smoke, he didn't drink but he has a buzz going on. Once
he finished "Ashton you're buzz." I said "I had a joint or two."
He said "Get OUT!" I said "OUT!" I said and Ashton didn't protest
he walked out the front door and I changed into my night clothes
and I felt violated. I knew Ashton was going to apologize
tomorrow, but saying I'm sorry doesn't cut it. I don't want him
to be like this. Drinking is something I disagree with since my
dad died but I don't want him doing drugs either.
I'm feeding Maddie her final bottle before bed when Lauren
and Anderson came in "How was ice cream?" I asked "Good. Was
Ashton here?" Lauren asked me "Yes. Lauren can I speak to you?" I
asked "Yeah, Anderson honey. Go feed Hope in the bedroom please?"
Lauren asked and Anderson nodded "I'm here for you Cay." He said
"Thanks." I said and he walked upstairs with Hope. I'm still
feeding Maddie "Ashton, came in. He's buzzed. He pushed his way
on me, and we had sex." I said "How do you feel about that?"
Lauren asked me "I don't care for it. I don't like Ashton when
he's like this. I don't like that. I can't be honest right now."
I said and Lauren nodded "You need to be honest with him. I know
it's scary and hard." Lauren said and I smiled at her.
Ashton's and Caylee's Pov:
The following morning while Caylee was up after Maddie woke
her up and Maddie was down again Ashton came over. Caylee stepped
outside on the porch with the baby monitor beside her. "We need
to talk." Caylee said "I'm sorry." Ashton said "Sorry won't cut
it. You used me, you basically raped me. I protested and told you
to get off. You wouldn't. I don't like you drunk or high. My
father died because of a drunk. Your mother is a drunk and a drug
addict. Recovering but still. I love you and I don't want to see
you head down the same road baby. It scares me." Caylee said and
Ashton looked at her "I'm sorry Caylee. I didn't mean nothing."
Ashton said "That's the thing, you never mean it. But you do.
You're not nice when you are drunk or high." Caylee said "I"m
sorry won't fix it, will it?" Ashton said.
"Saying I'm sorry will never fix it. You were buzz baby. It's
scary." Caylee said and Ashton looked at Caylee"Are we still
together?" Ashton asked "I just need my space right now. You hurt
me worse than you could imagine." Caylee said "I understand
Caylee." Ashton said "I sure hope so." Caylee said "Can I kiss
you good-bye?" Ashton said and Caylee softly kissed Ashton's on
the lips softly "Go, your Aunt knows. So go." Caylee said "I'm
sorry honey." Ashton said and Caylee watched as Ashton walked off
the front porch. Caylee stared at him as he walked away. Caylee
knew she was going to work on her dancing today.
Aunt Alice met me outside "I'm not even going to tell your
Uncle Carl. I'm the only one who knows. As long as you are in my
house this summer you will be drugged tested now. You will not be
coming home drunk or buzzed. I'm glad you didn't. But no drugs.
You don't want to end up like your mother. Now you will be doing
yard work today. I am disappointed in you Ashton." Aunt Alice
said and that hurt worse than anything "I'm sorry." I said "I'm
sorry won't cut it. You could have hurt yourself or worse
somebody else." Aunt Alice said "I really am." I said "Ashton,
you are a respected man. Don't ruin that. Don't end up like your
mom." Aunt Alice said and with that she walked inside and I knew
it would take awhile to win her back. Even longer than Caylee I
While I'm picking up the yard, I let Hoss out and we're
cleaning up the yard. I don't even noticed Caylee, Lauren, and
Chelsea leave out. I'm just focusing on the yard. Anderson walks
up to me "Not cool man." Anderson said "I know man. I'm not proud
of myself either." I said "You hurt Caylee man." Anderson said
and with that I didn't see it coming but Anderson punched me hard
in the face. "What the heck?" I asked "Don't hurt Caylee."
Anderson said and he didn't even help me up but he walked away. I
could feel the blood gushing from my nose. I went inside and
cleaned my face "What happened?!" Savannah asked me "I hit a
tree." I said "Ah nice." Savannah said I knew she didn't believe
me at all. "Ashton, are you done yet?" Aunt Alice asked "Cutting
grass now." I said and she nodded.
Around seven I noticed Caylee, Anderson and Lauren walk up
with the two girls. "GO ON." Lauren told Anderson, she was
twisting his arm "I'm sorry." Anderson said "Not a problem man."
I said "Come on." Lauren said and I looked at Caylee "Cay?" I
asked but Caylee didn't respond to me. "We can talk when you get
back from your dad." Caylee said and I nodded at her. She was
walking back to the house, she was holding Maddie in her arms
now. I knew I hurt Caylee beyond words. I could tell Caylee has
been dancing today, she had the dance look on her face and that
just made me feel bad that I hurt her. I went inside and went
into my room with Hoss following me, I was leaving tomorrow for
my week trip to my dad's.