I live in an exhausting place. People here suck. Just plain walking as if we're all living alone without knowing someone out here exists. I live alone, I mean, I'm forever alone.
"We're over Jane…" the last words I heard from him that cost my heart to not stop bleeding. Have you ever been broken hearted? Giving your entire damn shit to that particular person and saying… "I don't need anything in return!" but then after all…you'll be thinking like "What the hell? I gave him everything and now this? This is how he pays back?" Sounds like BULL… Girls really are dramatic persons in the world. No matter how strong a girl is, she'll never gonna make it through without crying.
I've had 7 boyfriends but I seriously loved number 7. The 1st and 2nd, I met them online. 3rd, he's my classmate in sophomore. The 4th and 5th guys are both basketball players. 6th, the hunk heartthrob at school and the 7th Ferol, he's my best friend who became my lover. I, honestly, underestimated love and I took it as a game. Love is a game, indeed, a deadly game.
When I started loving Ferol, more than as my best friend, I told myself to take this feeling with all my earnest intent. He cared a lot. Courting process was never easy for him. He never looses his patience. Guys are like that. They will do anything just to get your sweetest "Yes" and because he's my best friend, I'm complacent. I can be my ugliest with him. What's weird is, I got hooked with his pink purse. I never encountered a boy in my generation using such thing. Ferol told me that it was a free stuff he got inside the cereal box he bought. How he loved cereal! I don't eat cereal, for me it's like vomit. When we're together, he gave me the liquid milk and he'll eat the dry crispy cereal like a retard. I loved him because he appreciates little things around him.
Like typical couple we are fond of watching movies, horror movies. And unlike the usual, he's the one who got frightened easily. His favorite hiding place? my armpit. He's a nerd. A very good student! He worked very hard to achieve good grades while me just doing nothing. Beauty became my weapon but the truth is I'm not brilliant in academics. I failed many times and knowing my "Derp-ness" is clearly disgusting. Ferol never took me for granted. Calling me 5 times a day is actually too much but when you're in love, too much is not even enough. I've had so many wonderful times with him…and out of the billions; the one I wouldn't forget is when we walked together, holding hands in the street. It isn't that normal because 6 meters before we reach the mall my slippers cut off. I didn't expect him to lift me. We where like a newly wed couple at that time. I hugged his neck and hide my face because I got so shy. I told him about it.
"What's shameful is when you walk barefooted out here…with that dress! (I wore plain blue dress)" everyone was watching as he was smiling, lifting me through the place where slippers were displayed and he bought me a pair of it. It was special. But, those moments became the best memories I have with Ferol. Who said that breakup is that easy? Damn it! You'll just smile at first, but you'll feel the pain when you realized that it's all gone...When you imagine, the pillow became him. But then, when you don't move on…you'll stuck yourself to that freaky shit place.
In my room, I leaned on my chair as I'm blankly starring at the ceiling…when my phone rang and when I am about to answer…and all of a sudden, I dropped my phone because of great shock.