I accidentally dropped the spoon I was holding and hear it fell on the table.
"Run Away?" I asked, whispering. Images immediately came to my mind, me packing my bags and putting them in his car. Then, we'll be driving ourselves to nowhere, without direction, but having fun. The thought of being with him every single day, waking up and seeing his face sleeping, him holding me and hugging me. He and me, together.
I blinked and looked at him.
Today is friday. Tomorrow will be their wedding day. Why now? I thought. I can't seem to find the words to say. My mind is saying No but my heart keeps nudging me to say yes.
"I would love to hear your answer." Mike said calmly. He was looking at my eyes and I was just sitting their looking back at him.
Run away? the thought came to mind. It was like I'm making the biggest decision of my life. It's like the choice of doing what you want or doing what you need.
"I just can't live a life without you. I can't stand their on the altar saying vows to someone that's not you. And I can't certainly take the fact that I'm getting married and you're gonna take pictures of the wedding. Lorraine knows that its you I like that's why she is torturing the both of us." Mike said. He then reached for my hands and I gladly allowed him to hold them.
"Witch." I murmured. Mike giggled and I can't help but manage to laugh too. Seeing Mike so relax and happy makes me want to immediately run away. But, something is holding me back.
We were silent for a while. He's just sitting there, waiting for my reply.
I looked outside the window and saw that the sun was shining but rain clouds are starting to build up.
Run Away? the words came back to my mind. This will be all over the news. Wedding of the year: a disaster. What would his family think? What would our lives be after the happenings? Well, we might be happy but what is the long term effect of running away? It would be a disaster.
I know that if I say yes, everything would not be the same. This will kill Mike's reputation and his family at the same time. He would lose too much if I would say yes. I would be selfish if I say yes.
"You won't say yes, wouldn't you?" Mike said. I looked back at him and saw that he was also looking outside.
"Mike. It's just so difficult." I said, silently. He was still holding my hand when he looked at me.
"I just want to be with you." He said. He's eyes were starting to glisten and I can see the fear in it. "I can't live a life with you."
I closed my eyes and came to a decision.
"I won't." I took a deep breathe and took the courage to look him in the eye. I owe him an explanation.
"Believe me, I want to. But, I just can't. You would lose everything if you would choose me. Your family, your mom, your business. Everything. I can't be selfish. I can't live a life without you too, but I can't also live a life where we will regret forever." I didn't know how but a tear escaped from my eye.
Mike closed his eyes and took a deep breathe.
"I can't force you, right?" He asked, not looking at me. I simply nodded and released his hands from mine. No words escaped from out mouths at that very moment. After a couple of minutes, which seemed like forever, Mike spoke.
"I hate to say this but.... Goodbye." He said this, his tone cold and empty. I looked back at him and was surprised that he placed his hands on the back of my head and pulled me closer to him. In an instant, his lips were touching mine and I didn't object.
After the kiss, he left without a word and I was left there standing, alone in my kitchen with a broken door and a much broken heart.
I placed my camera inside its bag. I can't believe I'm doing this, I thought to myself. I looked at myself at the mirror. I was wearing a peach colored casual dress. It has a sleeves top, its skirt was flowly and just ends above my knee. I partnered the dress with a simple black open toe wedge. My hair was in a messy bun since I don't want it to disturb me while I take some pictures of the wedding.
Yes, it's already saturday and I still would want to come and take pictures of the wedding.
Are you out of your mind, Sam? My mind asked me. I shooked my head and looked at myself again at the mirror. I'm only doing this because I'm doing the witch a favor. And besides, I love photography and would want this famous wedding to be a part of my portfolio in the future.
Are you that naive? My mind screamed at me and I closed my eyes shut. Can I do this?
I suddenly had the urge to call Justin. I need him. I dialed his number and heard that his phone rang.
"Sam! Are you going to the wedding? Tell me you're not going. You're killing yourself!" I heard him with his loud voice saying over the phone. I grimaced and waited for him to calm down.
"Okay, I'm calm now. speak." He finally said and I smiled.
"I think I'm killing myself actually. I am going to the wedding. I just can't miss the opportunity of taking photographs of the famous wedding where I can use it as my portfolio someday. " I defended myself.
Justin was silent on the other line. "I think I can do this." I manage to assure him even though I'm not sure myself.
"Do you want me to come with you?" Justin asked and I immediately answered.
"Yes, please. I do need someone." I confessed.
"Alright, I'll come after I finished doing some errands." Justin said. "Okay take care of yourself, see you later."
Then the call ended. I took in a deep breathe and then took my camera bag to go to the mansion, where the wedding will be held.
It was already 2:00 pm when I arrived at the venue and I saw that only a few people where there. However, every one in the area was dressed like they were elites, some high class people. There were old ladies that are dressed in classy dresses while there are women my age who were dressed very elegant. Everyone seems to be happy. The place was really nice since it was a garden wedding. The gray mansion can be seen at the back of the aisle while the altar was placed on one of the cottages in the garden. The place was set like one of those wedding you see in movies.
I wonder where Mike is, I thought. He's probably inside a room now getting dressed. Mike, I'm sorry, I whispered.
I walked towards the lined chairs and I placed some of my not so important things on one. I then started exploring the place and took some candid shot of the people around me. Every passing minute, more people are arriving and later the seats were filled. I saw the hired professional photographers setting there gadgets to capture everything perfectly. I took some shots of the flowers that were lined up along the aisle and some wide angle shots of the whole place.
Just then, as I looked at the view finder of my camera, I saw Mike. He was standing at the end of the aisle and I saw him always glancing at his watch, showing no emotions. I froze. I was standing beside one of the flower pillars and I can't seem to move. Mike was wearing a gray tuxedo and a gray bow tie. He was looking gorgeous.
I didn't realized I was staring at him when his eyes met mine. I was so surprised that I suddenly placed my camera in front of my face and pretended to take some shots of the people nearby to hide my reaction, anxious and confused at the same time. I was about to look back at him when I saw him walking along the aisle.
The wedding was starting. Everyone looked at him as he was walking down the aisle. Photographers started clicking their cameras but I can't seem to find the courage to take a picture of him walking down the aisle. I held at the flower pillar for support since my knees are getting weak.
Suddenly, I felt a hand in my arm and it was trying to prevent me from falling down. I looked up and gasped.
"John!" I stood and immediately hugged him. He told me to be quiet and emphasized that the wedding is starting.
"What are you doing here?" I whispered as I squeezed his hand. He smiled and whispered back, "I'm your bestfriend right and I know that you'll come here and kill yourself. I won't let that happen. I was about to board the plane but I can't leave you behind. I mean your pretty wrecked up and I'm here to help you."
My eyes were glistening and I tried hard not to cry. I looked up at my bestfriend and whispered thanks to him. He smiled at me.
Just then, I heard the most dreadful music, the bridal song.
I looked at the aisle and there was Lorraine, in a white gorgeous dress. Her dress was fully beaded like she was a princess. She was smiling and was very happy. She then walked down the aisle as people were taking pictures of here. The media which was swarming at the corners of the place was also filming her.
I just stared and suddenly felt John squeezing my hands. I squeezed back.
I gathered all the courage and strenght that I need, I lifted my camera up to my eyes and started taking pictures. If I'm going to use this for my portfolio, I need to focus.
Lorraine reached the altar and her mom gave her to Mike. Mike stiffly took her hands and Lorraine's mom was wiping away tears. Mike and Lorraine walked up to the altar and the priest smiled at them.
"We are gathered here to day...." the preacher started his speech.
This is it. He is really going to get married. I closed my eyes and took a sit in one of the chairs. John walked up to me and sat by my side.
"Are you alright?" He whispered. I looked at him and smiled. I nodded.
"You know, when the right opportunity comes, I think you should grab it." He said.
"What do you mean?" I asked. I looked at him and he was smiling.
"You'll see." He said. He then looked toward the altar and listened.
I looked at the altar and wondered what did John mean. I scanned the area to see if Justin has arrived but I can't see any signs of him. So, I took my camera and took pictures from where I was sitting.
"Is there anyone who does not approve of this two from marrying?" I heard the preacher said. My eyes widened. John was smiling at me and signaled me to look at the altar.
Is this the opportunity that he was talking about? I asked myself. I looked at the altar and stared at the preacher.
"If anyone does not approve, speak now or forever hold your peace." The preacher said and I remembered Taylor Swift's song. There was a pause from the crowd and I saw that Lorraine was smiling. Everyone was starting to look at each other as if waiting for someone to stand up.
You know, when the right opportunity comes, I think you should grab it, the words of John was resonating in my mind. My hands were shaking and I can feel my knees are getting weak. I looked at the altar and saw Mike, his eyes looking at the ground. Hopeless.
I saw the preacher about to say something and the next thing I know, my voice resonated in the whole area.
I heard my voice. My eyes are closed and when I opened them, I saw the terrified faces looking at me. First, I wondered why they are giving me such unfriendly faces but then I realized, I was standing and everyone was looking at me, even Lorraine and Mike. The preacher's eyebrow raised as he looked at me.
"I need to say something.." I said out loud, my voice a little shaky.