I'm not going to say that it didn't hurt when Damian told me her forgot; it did, but I knew it didn't mean a lot, so I decided to push all emotions and feelings out of my head as I made my way back to the front of the Home Ship. I'd often tried to convince myself that I had better things to think about, more important things, but the annoying thing about liking someone, is that they never leave your head. Whatever they do, say, don't do, don't say, they all circle your head. It doesn't matter if you don't want them to.
The sun wasn't relenting, beating down its rays on the hard ground, heat waves rolling up from the rough dirt. I could almost feel the air reverberate around me, as though the heat was filling the whole atmosphere with beats. There was no life, though. The plants, stripped of all water, lazing around under the sun. I heard no birds, no rustling from the bushes.
As I rounded the broad corner of the monstrous metal ship, I felt the normal feel of the community start to surround me. As I neared the gates, more and more people appeared, until streams of men and women were ploughing large crates and bulky carts of goods in and out of the ships. I rarely ever saw this many people. We all had set jobs. Jobs that we'd been destined to do since the day we were born. Some of us teenagers were having a future a cook, or a maidservant, or a hunter. I'm part of the next generation of carpenters, Damian's going to become a transporter. Our jobs will be completely different.
I shook my head and surreptiotusly joined a dispersing crowd of people my own age, disappearing back into the ship. I avoided the gaze of passing guards and the current of people walking in an out of the gates. I hurried in, keeping my head down, eyes glued to the floor. People swam past me, barely even noticing that I was there, which is what I wanted, of course.
Soon, the number of people started dwindle as I made my way further into the back ways of the ship, where my type of people lived. I knew each and every person who lived down here, as I would do for probably the rest of my life. We will all have the same jobs, same future, same death.
I quick-walked past every door; you wouldn't have been able to tell where different rooms where if it wasn't for the large numbers slapped straight in the middle of each on of them.
678, 677, 676, 675, 674, 673...
672. My little family room. Technically, it was a tiny collection of small rooms joined together to create a feeble excuse as a house.
There were no secrets in my little house, no privacy. That's how its always been, that's how it always will be.
I pressed my fingertips into the sensitivity pad loacted to the left of my door. It registered who I was from the lines on my fingertips, there was a lock and a click, and the door slid open. I walked over the threshold, the door instantly sliding shut behind me.
I could hear my aunt from the room next to me, her small bedroom, chattering to herself. I've never directly asked her why she talked to herself so much, but I'd pretty much figured it was because she sometimes got lonely and she wanted to fill the silence, but I also thought it was because she did it to keep herself distracted. My aunt got kind of depressed sometimes.
As I passed the moth-eaten rug and couch to my dingy bedroom, I tuned into the hum of the Interconnected Radio- a small device that everybody had to have; constantly feeding us vital information from the main desk.
I half-sighed to myself, taking in the same, ordinary surroundings.
Making my way into my bedroom, I quickly glanced across at my hanging, vintage mirror. The only thing I'd inherited from my mother, along with a silver pendant that was always strung around my neck. A pale, small face stared back at me, blue eyes lost of all emotion, blank. Dark waves of hair framed my face, falling messily down my back. I couldn't hide the slight hint of darkness underneath my eyes, my chapped lips, my slumped figure.
I shook my head dissmissively and flopped backwards onto my bed.
I'd waited for Damian for so long. Why? I asked myself. We were closer when we were younger, but now, maybe I shouldn't be so clingly. My expectations shouldn't be so high. I had little to no chance to ever being as close as I was to Damian. There were so many other girls, closer to being rich than myself. I was just his friend, someone for him to confide in. I guess I should be grateful for at least that.
I closed my eyes against the hazy heat and sighed once more, my breathing the only sound in the room. The hum diminished into the background, I no longer could hear my aunt. I was sleeping in a dreamy haze, surrounded by a thick mist, hidden behind bulletproof glass. I felt... almost safe here. Where my thoughts couldn't interrupt me.
"Aly, for the last time, will you wake up!"
I felt myself being shaken violently. I snapped out of my sleepy daze, my eyes flicking open, looking up at my aunt. I blinked slowly once, feeling rushing back through my body.
"Finally!" My aunt through up her arms into the air exasperatedly.
".. Wh-what?" I slurred, feeling the life rush back into my head.
"You're needed, what did you expect?"
My aunt made her way out of my room, turning around before she left, to say one last thing:
"Oh, and Aly, next time... save the sleeping for night time."
The door closed behind her. Of course, I was needed. Duty time again.
I groaned, and fell back onto my bed tiredly.