Touching. I was touching her hands, no, holding. I had confessed three days previously to my local priest that I was a lesbian and that he could pray I could actually have the courage to tell my family. I knew they wouldn't approve of this. They had been trying to set me up with a rich, self-centered boy called Richard Vancover. Yes. He was absolutely cute, but if he had a pair of breasts and didn't carry a dick in his pants, I might have considered going out with him. Yet my feelings were locked on someone else; Roxanne Pikkett. Her strawberry, ginger ponytail was the first thing I saw, when I first met her in the 5th grade. I was not fully aware I was gay at the time, but I knew I strangely not attracted to boys. I was partnered with Roxanne for a field trip to an old, abandoned house, that had so many antiques, it was turned into a museum. I had been looking in a particular bedroom on the 2nd floor with Roxanne. I messed about with the bed covers on this massive, king-sized bed. We pretended to be man and wife on our honeymoon. Roxanne had made a joke saying, because I hadn't fully reached puberty, I had to be the man. We danced around and was having fun. I now have that day replaying in my thoughts whenever I am down.
I was 16 when I realized I was gay. It was at a wedding party, my brother, Jon's. I invited Roxanne over, mostly so we could get drunk and hopeful puke over my new sister-in-law's wedding dress. She had came in a black dress and pink leggings. It suited her well. I wasn't really into the whole 'Dress To Impress' thing. I just worea pair ofskinny jeans, a baggy topand a black pair ofsneakersto the wedding and reception.
"You would have looked prettier in you dress." My mum nagged.
"Why can't you be more womanly like your sister?" Complained my dad.
I was never interested in all that 'Pretty Pink Princess Fairy' shit. I was just...me. Back to the party; Roxanne and I had carried two bottles of Vodka to my bedroom and locked the door, so no one caught us in the act. We got abit dizzy after a few mouths full, and that's when the alchol started to mess with me. I remember, Roxanne was laying on my bed, admiring the poster drawing up on the ceiling. I stood infront of the bed, just looking at her. She leaned forward and realized it too. We were in love. We couldn't believe how blind we had been all these years. After that everything was dark. Everyone had gone home, but Roxanne. We were lying under the covers, naked. Chest to Chest. Toe to Toe. Palm to Palm. Lip to Lip. She spent the night with me in my bed. It was the first time I had a lesbian experience with somebody. It was the first time I had been this close to somebody. And most of all; It was the first time I loved somebody.
When me and Roxanne graduated from college, we wanted to spend time with each other, where no one could find us. Sadly, one of Roxanne's relatives passed away in Brazil, so her and her family had to go down there for a few months. In that time. I was in the dark.
My annoying, over-protective parents were surprized I hadn't found a boyfriend, so they sent me on a blind date. They made me wear this ugly, blue dress that sparkles on it. I think if I threw up on it, it would have made it look better. They also dyed my lovely black hair, to a ridiculous blonde. I hated being blonde. Once at this dinner date, I saw this 'prince charming' my parents had been bragging about. He had very shaggy, brunnette hair that covered his eyes abit; he wore a tight tux, that showed off his amazing athletic body and his bulge that everyone could vividly see.
At first it was kind of weird. I was dating the wrong gender. Whenever he took a bathroom break, (he had been drinking too much of the water, just because itwas free) I would stare at all the beautiful woman in the restaurant and imagine a seductive night with them. But then I realized I was already taken by Roxanne. Finally the dreadful night ended and he drove me to this cliff that had the whole view of the city. It was beautful. I had never realized how amazing the street lights made the city look. We gazed over this beauty in his red Range Rover. I could see he was doing the old 'Pretend to yawn while putting arm round girl's shoulder' trick. I didn't want to tell him I was gay. I could see he was a really nice guy, and judging by the dent in his pants, he really liked me too. That night I done something I would regret and never forget. I lost my virginity.