Beauty in the Breakdown
by alice oiseau
*
*
I mustn't sit and linger,
Don't let the memories
crawl unto my canvas.
The teardrops can't be worth the cry.
*
My love,
These dreams turn to nightmares.
Memories of a past life
are haunting me...
And now they have found you in my mind,
Now they have pricked you with poison.
*
I awake to find you by my side,
But unable to physically touch,
It hurts almost too much...
*
Perhaps you aren't my prince,
but rather my knight.
You tell me to find him,
and I promise I will try,
Though I believe I have found him,
but it's hard,
when it is he who denies.
*
Always I will love you,
with promises to meet,
but also with promises
to keep my heart open.
*
I will walk forward.
Haunted.
Frightened.
Never alone,
but I will walk.
*
I have to move on,
but don't let go of me,
don't stop holding me,
don't stop loving me,
Please.
Don't ever stop.
*
*
*
Stephanee
(not registered user)
No long analysis this time, but you're lucky you barely escaped ^^
I really like the part about walking on with an open heart. It's okay to not let go while you still need the hand to hold. A good prince will hold you for as long as it taked. But keep your heart open, and one day you might find yourself in a place where you don't need that steadying hand anymore.
I like the pleading tone of the last stanza, I think it shows the vulnerability you're feeling and contrasts sharply with the strength the prince encourages you to have.
At first I wasn't sure if I liked the title, because I didn't think it fit the rest of the poem. But then I sat and pondered for a while and I think actually I do like it because it can be interpreted 2 ways. First, "Beauty in the Breakdown," like there's good that comes from every bad thing, and there's beauty even in the most painful breakdown. And second, "Beauty in the Breakdown," like expressing the poem's subject matter: Beauty suffering in the midst of a Breakdown.
I thought this was a lovely sad poem, Alice. It expresses both despair and a little bit of hope. I think Pratibha said it so well when she called your poetry both "simple and complex."
Stephanee :)
Posted: Jul 29, 2008
Oh, a beautiful poem Alice. I love the first stanza and the lines:
I mustn't sit and linger,
Don't let the memories
crawl unto my canvas.
The teardrops can't be worth the cry.
The second stanza seems to say that a pain from a previous experience is preventing you from moving forwards and believing in someone or a dream. It’s as though you are afraid of being hurt. Could it be distance which is the cause of pain, for this is the image we have from the next stanza. The next couple of stanza’s are interesting. I get the feeling of unconditional love, maybe friendship which says I love you, but don’t hold back for me, keep your heart open suggests this. For me the last few stanza’s reinforce this point. I have to move on, but I will always love you. Its as though there is some barrier that can’t be over come which forces two people apart even though they love each other. Oh, I can sympathise with this Alice, but true love never dies, and no barrier is unconquerable. Ah, a beautiful, lovely and sad poem. But as always wonderfully written!
Posted: Jul 30, 2008
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