Imagine if you will, a very cold winter night. An ice storm is going to hit over night. You curl up in bed under your sheets all nice and warm. You wake up shortly before dawn and walk outside. Everything is blanketed in white powder and clear crystal. As the sun comes up over the horizon, you feel a warmth like no other in the sheer beauty of the view you see. And it is just truly amazing. Can you feel that warmth? Can you envision this beautiful January morning? I can. I've seen it before. And it's absolutely awe-inspiring. And that warm feeling? I feel it every time I see you, every time you lean on my shoulder, every time I think of that night we had together. That time just between us frozen in time, preserved like a diamond in our minds. And it's our memory alone. I got chewed out that next morning for staying out late. But it was so worth it to share that time, that evening with you. I have no regrets.
Imagine if you will, spending the night out in the country. It's a calm evening, a slight breeze, just enough to make the outdoors comfortable. You're lying out in a patch of grass, looking up at the stars. You see constellations, galaxies, a satellite every once in a while. It's so clear that you feel like you can see the entire universe from that little patch of grass. The stars are shining, silvery glimmering dots in a dark blue/black sky. The sheer intensity and vastness makes you feel bare, small, exposed. You feel like you have nothing to hide as you stare out into the universe, as it stares into you. And it's comfortable. You're not scared but you welcome it. That's what it's like to look into your eyes. I see the absolute beauty in them. I can see your true intents as you see mine. You know me more than I'd like in as short of a time that we've known each other, but it's comforting. Because then I have no front to put up. I can look you in those amazingly clear eyes and bare myself, my true self, to you and I'm not afraid of what you will see. Because you understand. You know what I'm like, what I am. It's overwhelming but absolutely calming.
Imagine if you will, standing in a clearing in a forest. The forest itself is quite thick with trees, but the sun still shines through. All the greens are glowing around you. You hear the natural sounds of life thriving around you. The forest literally breathes as a breeze comes through. The leaves rustle and birds shuffle their wings. You stand there amazed at how life goes on, knowing all of the issues outside of the forest. It's shocking how beautiful life is here though it's almost a living hell outside. But this forest, it gives you hope, it gives you strength, it convinces you to go outside for awhile. And you do so. Because you know you can always come back in, and the forest will be waiting. You feel temporarily invincible and you stride outside of the forest. The horridness hits you and you take a step back. You lack back into the forest as a breeze comes out, pushing you along. You continue walking into the chaos. You soon come to live in the chaos and feel an undying urge to return to the forest that you've grown out of accustom to. So you step back in. The chaos continues to weigh in at your heart but you don't feel scared. You know you'll have to go back, but you aren't afraid. That's what it's like to be near you. It's a comfort to know you're there. And with that slight comfort, I know my problems don't stand a chance. I can go day to day dealing with each blow as it comes to terms with my body. Because I know that that smile will still be there when I return. I know it's worth it.
Imagine if you will, a small room. It's empty, devoid of any decor or livelihood. No windows, no doors, no vents, no way in or out. It's pitch black, no light to see anything. There's is no coolness, the room is fairly warm. You can't tell day from night nor how long you've been here. You continuously imagine anything that can keep you happy but soon enough, you lose hope of being happy ever again. Can you imagine how awful this feels? Can you sense the loss, the desperation, the sadness. Then add to it tapping. There's tapping on the walls, of varying depths, loudness, speed, repetitiveness. Now add on top of that a swirl around the room you catch a glimpse of what it is. It's a series of pictures depicting anything and everything. Can you sense it? That's what my heart is like. It's dark, it's messed up. The tapping? That's my friends and family trying to get me out of the mess, trying to get me see whats outside. The pictures? Those are all of my choices. They haunt me and brag to me and laugh with me. They remind me of everything I've done and try to keep me from screwing up. This image is my mind. It's insane in there. Now, you see a small hole on one wall it seems to lead outside, like a keyhole. It's shaped like a blade-wound. The question is, "Can you imagine hurting me, using that key, to unlock the door and get me out of this insanity?"
Imagine if you will, a blue sky, a green field, mountains in the background. A perfectly peaceful picture. Now, imagine if you will, the two of us in that picture, sitting, talking. Resting together and loving life. Can you imagine that?