Simles
are greetings that
can make a day brighter
a weak heart feel so much stronger
and make a rain cloud vanish from the sky.
So I will greet them wearing one
in hope of seeing them
look at me with
Smiles.
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Welcome Visitor: 
this rictameter poem turned out wayyyyyy different then the poem i was supposed to write. at first i was writing a regualr poem, then i started writing in rictameter about another thing,but that wasnt working out, so then i suddenly wrote about smiles. =) crazy how some things work out. i hope that made sense. enjoy!
~Lemon
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Submitted: Jul 11, 2008 Reads: 58 Comments: 13 Likes: 4
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Comments:
awwwww! Its so cute!!! I love it!
Posted: Jul 11, 2008
haha
cute
Loved it
:]
Posted: Jul 11, 2008
It's very cute, and it made me smile! :D
Posted: Jul 11, 2008
it is sooo cute i love it:] it makes me smile
Posted: Jul 11, 2008
This is really nice poem.Smiles can really make your day nicer. :)
Posted: Jul 11, 2008
This is very good.
*smiles*
THey brighten up even the darkest days.
Love Always,
Erin
Posted: Jul 11, 2008
CUTE AS U ARE...
YES I HAVE THIS HUGE SMILE AND A BUG HUG FOR YOU...
Posted: Jul 11, 2008
*smiles* Good job. I really enjoyed the circular ending.
Posted: Jul 11, 2008
that's sooooooooooo sweet!! ^-^
Posted: Jul 12, 2008
awwwwwwwwww, how adorable. I love smiles:P hehehe, and you deserve a nid one for this poem! :D
Steph(:
Posted: Jul 12, 2008
very cute poem! Love the structure. Good stuff!
TRHC
Posted: Jul 18, 2008
SMILE!!!! :D
hahaha YAY!
lol
i love smiles :) seeee! hehe ^^
such a cute little poem. heart warming and it certainly can make anyone SMILE!
Posted: Jul 18, 2008
The rictameter poem is an interesting challenge. To start, please correct "simles". Avoid the passive voice: "Smiles are . . .".
Show me don't tell me. Show me how a smile makes a day brighter.
Who is "them? Be specific.
Your poem has so much potential. The rictameter form suggests a mirror and it's reflection. Hmmm . . .
"So I will greet them wearing one
in hope of seeing them
look at me with
Smiles."
Do you see it? The structure of your poem providing a metaphor for you poem's content?
Just some thoughts. :)
Posted: Jul 30, 2008
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Love, Poetry, Life, Death, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Hope, Sad, Sex, God, Horror, Hate, War, Humor, Hurt, Sadness, Loss, Dark, Depression, Fiction, Heart, Family, Faith.