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Will hopefully get a band and get recording this. I already got it planned out as a song. :)

as usual, straight from my experiences. View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Sep 15, 2008    Reads: 37    Comments: 3    Likes: 1   


Floating in my head
Are all of these words
Choice words
That I shouldn’t have said
 
But honestly
I really don’t care
About you
Well maybe
 
You shoulda let go, you shoulda let me down
You shoulda gone away, and just let me drown
You shoulda thrown me out, when you had the chance
But you kept it up, and killed this romance
 
I swore I’d love you
Till I die
That promise won’t be broken
Even after goodbye
 
You shoulda let go, you shoulda let me down
You shoulda gone away, and just let me drown
You shoulda thrown me out, when you had the chance
But you kept it up, and killed this romance
 
Now I feel nothing
I’m empty inside
I hope you’re happy
Without you in my life
 
You shoulda let go, you shoulda let me down
You shoulda gone away, and just let me drown
You shoulda thrown me out, when you had the chance
But you kept it up, and killed this romance


1

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Comments:

Nice Rob. Nice.

one alteration I'd make though: The second last stanza, last line. It would read better as "Without me in your life" instead of "Without you in my life". That or change the previous line to a first person narrative. I'd just to make the lines flow better, since they seem like they should be about the same side of the story.

( Whoops. And there I go violating the "No talkie" rule. :| )

Posted: Sep 16, 2008

Author Comment:

it's all good. thanks for the advice, but i meant it to read like that. it's supposed to read "without me in your life"

I just realized that I forgot the "T" in "It'd". xD oh well.

Posted: Sep 16, 2008

Author Comment:

oh wait, what the f***?
i was pretty sure i originally wrote it as "without me in your life"
wow, maybe i changed it subconciously.

oh wait. i don't even know what i meant to write.
okay, nevermind. i guess it works for me either way.

Posted: Sep 16, 2008



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