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Glass Child

Poem By: lunalupinacci
Romance


For the someone that I love...maybe one day I'll give this to you.
Until then, my heart is yours. View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Oct 10, 2008    Reads: 38    Comments: 3    Likes: 1   


Please don’t lose hope in me out there                    

Your eyes go from blue to purple to green

I can’t touch you through the glass plane

But I can see you sitting, so I stare

 

Our world is equivalent of a million tiny bubbles

I blow with the breath you breathe into me

You can look but don’t touch

You can touch but don’t make the memory

 

So many things to remember

When I have enough on my mind already

I want to spin but not get too dizzy

Spin with me and let’s do it steady

 

We can go from sunlight streaked with amber

And swim through the stories that we’ve told

And behind my eyes the moonlight spills glitter

And everything we touch, it turns to gold

And, oh 

You can believe it

You're not that far

You just cannot think too hard

We can be soaked green as Peter Pan

I shiver as your fingers brush my hand

Don’t worry, don’t wonder.

 

I’ll talk to you on a painted doorstep

I’ll walk with you and never stop, if that is what you want

So I want this to be all that I see

I want all of this to become me

 

I want to soak this in like an empty child

I don’t claim perfection even as I’m standing on it

I don’t call flawless when I touch it

The porcelain mathematics, such a small bit of this

 

It’s something like a simple state of being

You touch it . . . and the bubbles pop

You look too carefully . . . but I, you wouldn’t dare

And I could spin this earth into my hands

In this shimmering, crystalline air


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Comments:

Oh dreaminess...I'm spinning in dreaminess. Love your writing, love your construction, your cosmetics, your word choice, your breadth and depth.

Perfect.

Posted: Oct 12, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you SO MUCH, love....I do like reading your comments, they inspire me and help me to do better (:

Just give it to him, who cares...do not spend life, waiting on a moment.

Posted: Oct 12, 2008

It is a pretty poem, but your use of connective conjunctions at the beginning of the lines weakens the meaning a bit. I would recommend changing that. Other than that this is a soft and beautiful poem.
Michelle

Posted: Oct 15, 2008



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Love, Poetry, Life, Death, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Hope, Sad, Sex, God, Horror, Hate, War, Humor, Hurt, Sadness, Loss, Dark, Fiction, Depression, Heart, Family, Faith.

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