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Fault line.

Poem By: puddleofink
Romance


Harpoon at the ready one end tied to your heart, your the anchor im the shark....you found the fault line to my heart...theres plenty more fish in the see it seems you have your eyes set on me...this is a song/poem/lyrics...hehe enjoii! View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Aug 16, 2008    Reads: 82    Comments: 15    Likes: 5   


Hello there, Im another fish in the sea,

Where plentiful, all colours shapes and sizes you see,

Harpoon at the ready, One end tied to your heart,I catch your eye

And you begin to hunt.

Your the anchor, im the shark

HereI am across the tide,

Before we've met, once or twice.

Beautiful,I onceheard you sigh.

Causingtidal waves as your ship glides, ever so closer to my side

Eyes wide open, looking down

You see a short cutto hunt me down,

You take your aim, and shoot at me fast,

Hook line and sinker you tug at my heart,

Your the anchor, and im the shark.

You've found the fault line to my heart.


5

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Comments:

this is beautiful, and a winner-would make great lyrics for a song-I think this is really well-thought out and well-written :D
*Meg*

Posted: Aug 16, 2008

Author Comment:

aw wow yeah i thoughtr it was good to be honest and considering i wrote it down at 10:50pm last nyt i think it turned out good hehe! thanks heaps for the comment oh its written to the same tune as the plain white t's song i have above it so if you can imagin the tune and lyrics as one youll get it real good hehe! thanks again my friend -RENEE

oh hay raisin hehe its not to the tune of the plain white t's hehe sorry woops i think i need a nap!

Posted: Aug 16, 2008

wow this is really good
:]
and i agree with raisin about it being able to be a song
beautiful work
loved it

Posted: Aug 17, 2008

Author Comment:

hay thankyou heaps! im so happy people like it! Ciao!

THAT WAS A BEAUTIFUL POEM.
NICE JOB.

Posted: Aug 17, 2008

Author Comment:

hey thanks heaps! i reaqlly appreciate comments like yours! Ciao!

This is intersting and very good!! Awesome job!! i lvoe it!

Posted: Aug 17, 2008

Author Comment:

hay kool thanx!

hunterkyrie
(not registered user)

That's sweet. Very cute. =)

But the rhyme scheme seems a little off. It does look like you have a good flow in some parts. But then others, it seems to break a little. Here's a good tip. when you are writing a poem with a rhyme scheme. Read it aloud to yourself and see how it flows when you're speaking the words.

Posted: Aug 18, 2008

Author Comment:

well not everyones perfect, but to me this sounds good as it is but hey thanks for pointing it out, its quite hard to find words that ryme especially when i wrote it around the whold fishing theme... ciao!

scince hunterkyrie reckons its good but rhyming enough i will edit:

You take your aim, and shoot at my heart,

Hook line and sinker you tug at my heart,

to this:
You take your aim, and shoot at me fast,

Hook line and sinker you tug at my heart,

Posted: Aug 18, 2008

I thought it was good ^-^
Great job, and well done!

Posted: Aug 18, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks thanks and thanks again! hehe

love it! i love the metaphors you used! "another fish in the sea" its awesome how you used that to relate to everyone and said how we are all different. great job hun!

Posted: Aug 21, 2008

Author Comment:

hehe thanks hon! hehe you are so kind! have a brilliant day!!

i love your style ^^,
sorry if all i did was to read this poem...
i don't have much time for the others
i hope you understand....

Posted: Aug 22, 2008

Author Comment:

o.k! thanks heaps anyways feel free to read anythnig anytime!!

A great poem, loved the flow of it! ;) ~ nixie

Posted: Aug 23, 2008

Author Comment:

oooo! thanky!!

a wonderful poem , really enjoyed it . added light to a very dull yorkshire morning .

Posted: Aug 27, 2008

Author Comment:

hehe kool im glad you enjoyed this hehe ciao!!

Wow, beautiful. I liked the rhyming, poetry doesn't need to rhyme in any particular way. The ending was fantastic; really finished the poem well.

Posted: Sep 10, 2008

Author Comment:

awwww i love your lovely comments

hi! renee. this must be the only anchorman who'll fall hook, line and sinker for the 'shark'. but then, this is romance so all is fair in love and war. u've made sharks seem tamer and sweeter. keep it up. lol. ;-)

Posted: Sep 15, 2008

Author Comment:

hehehehehe thanks heaps for the lovely comment bubbly!!

I was very impressed with your thought process and how you followed through. great job!

Posted: Oct 20, 2008

Author Comment:

im glad i impressed you hehe ciao! thanks



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