i wrote this after i was dumped, its bout dieing.
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Submitted: Aug 24, 2007
Reads: 228
Comments: 26
Likes: 9
life is slipping by me
i know it is behind me
giving me the kiss of death
my pulse growing less
i wish she knew i loved her
i wish it was how it were
poison running through my veins
oh it hurts so much pain
i stare up at the sky
tears running down i start to cry
i start to feel i can fly
everything passing me by
i enter the light up so high
now i know how it feels to die
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Comments:
wow! thats is a stunning poem... love th choice of words and rhyming. amazing 5 stars
Posted: Aug 24, 2007
What up reaper. Another good portrayal skimming across the emotional horrors we all face at some point in our lives. This is another one of yours that not only is good as is but is and excellent outline for a short story.
Posted: Aug 24, 2007
wow, suicide? very powerful piece, emotionaly felt. don't go there again hey? you ok now? thanks for sharing-:)
Posted: Aug 24, 2007
Ur Best.......
Posted: Aug 25, 2007
i think this is my best poem ever
Posted: Sep 27, 2007
Kristy
(not registered user)
Wow u Have plenty of Talent I could neva do nething Like This Its awesome I hope u continue and If I didnt know u any better I would seriously say ur a professional writer LOL
Kristy
Posted: Oct 4, 2007
Okay I need some feedback it was good but did the reaper kill him with a kiss or ripped his soul out of his body, by the way very nice peom. You rock.
Posted: Oct 13, 2007
Wow, great poem, hope your're better now though!
Posted: Oct 18, 2007
Love the poem, Glad your all better now!
I cant believe I havent read this one yet, I thought I read them all... I guess I'll have to go through and read the ones I havent read yet!
Though I have to say it is one of your best!!!
Like Robert said, It does have agood plot that could be turned into a short story!
Posted: Oct 21, 2007
Well, this is great. You are an amazing poet. I cant wait to read more.
---Kcy:]
Posted: Dec 31, 2007
It's amazing what we can write with raw emotion :S I have something similar to this, but it's not about dying, it's about rejection on a spiritual level. I haven't posted it on Booksie, maybe I should to show a darker side to me.
The grim reaper taking away his soul makes me think of J.K. Rowling's Dementors as they give the kiss of death that sucks out their victims souls. I loved it very well done, one of your best pieces that I've read yet.
~DarkFairy~
Posted: Mar 4, 2008
Sometimes when you get dumped by someone you love you feel like you really are dieing. That there is no way you can move on and that being alive is worthless. I really hope you didnt feel like that becasue whoever did dump you didnt see you for who you are. I liked this one. It really brought out the emotion you were feeling. And I'm glad your alright. =) Again I like it. =] Its surprinsing that its your first cuz it seems like youve been doing this for a long time.
Posted: Mar 6, 2008
Who would dump you? You clearly have a great talent and your a excellent BEST FRIEND!!! Seriosly im not kidding... Nice poem!!!
Bowchickawoofwoof
Posted: Mar 11, 2008
What depth you have for someone so young. This poem is powerful, because it is a common theme which we can all relate too. I felt your pain, but I hope that you know that it is always there loss. I look forward to satying in touch with your thoughts.
Cheers, Kerry
Posted: Mar 11, 2008
this is an awsome poem and i agree this is one of the best. (i read all of the other ones with galih last night and they are wicked)
Posted: Mar 15, 2008
i love this poem.
it was great.
Posted: Mar 20, 2008
i kno. don't ppl get sometimes that u just write a poem for the fun of it. (most of mine are based on the truth of my life tho) i really liked this poem reaper. plz write more. i can see how ppl say it's got a good story line but, i can't think of a story for it.
Posted: Mar 24, 2008
Awww Well Done Hun,
You've Got Alot Of Talent
x
Posted: Apr 9, 2008
As I watch him die,
tears like the river I am,
I wonder if,
the woman he loves,
can feel his last heartbeat.
I think and watch,
does she turn her head,
does stop with her life
and cry?
And as I look, seeing
him fly away,
I feel like she is not
worthy
of the love he is dieing for.
For I, too,
am dieing of love.
Keepers' River
Posted: Apr 17, 2008
Thank You Ben for no typing up emo crap for months!Phaise the Lord!...eh? And this is a message for anyone else who comments this: Goth (Emo) poems are the most stupid, bad, sick type of poems! It's good Reaper you don't do them anymore!Thankyou!...eh?
Your's truly...Don Vito Corleone.
Posted: Apr 24, 2008
i love this.
Posted: Jun 18, 2008
that's real sad
sorry to hear about it though =[
Posted: Jun 20, 2008
That's a very nice poem, though i enjoyed HOWL a bit more. I'm happy that you're better now, cause dying for others is a waste of good blood.
(black humor of a wierd mind, don't ask)
:)
Posted: Aug 16, 2008
all i can say is wow!!!
you're very talented, i'd appreciate your comments or critique on my writing :-)
Posted: Aug 19, 2008
OOOOO that i heart tuching i hope she can see how much u love her to u have a good heart u keep up the writeing u a grate write heart touching ur a real writer.
Posted: Oct 20, 2008
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