Elegy to Her

Just another lonely angel, locked in this self-imposed cage

My companions corked sadness, bottled-up rage

Watching, waiting, sitting sullenly on my ass,

Hiding behind my flimsy shield of brass

Wasting away, succumbing to my fears

Falling back into the same routine, scared to shift gears

I can no longer shed tears,

As I look back through the wasted years

I just cannot bear to let go,

Can’t bear to hear the lonely “no”

I didn’t think it’d ever happen, my heart feel so sore

The skies have opened, icy rain begins to pour

Can’t I do a single thing right,

Am I really this dim, and not that bright?

I can’t hurt a fly, I’m a peaceful dove

Just out looking for some form of belonging, some catastrophic love

So many thoughts swirling through my head,

So many feelings of dread

I’ve looked back on this life I’ve led

Can’t we all forgive, can’t we break bread?

You used to hold me so close, I could barely stand

My knees shook, and began to grow weak

My heart’s beating like a drummer in a band

Just what is it that you seek?

I used to feel like I could fly high above the ground,

Now though my mouth moves, I can’t utter a single sound

I got a taste of paradise, and now you expect me to let it slip away

I’m beginning to fall, but with no idea which way I’m starting to sway

And though I pleaded her not to walk away,

Now I shall rue my stupidity of that day

I could be standing at the top of the world,

Instead of sinking farther down into the mud

And maybe I’m just crazy,

But even now when I think of you my mind goes hazy

Truly, the loneliest and saddest words I will ever know,

“it could’ve been me, if only it was so”

 I don’t want to become no Holden,

But you’re more than that Phoebe upon which I lean

Reaching out for that golden ring

You’re a majestic and just queen

While I am no king

I leaned on you when times were hard

We stood together, though you were so tall

And though you were towering high over me

You were one of few who reached out,

To pick me up fall after fall

I’ve faltered and failed,

And not once did you give up, never bailed

We stood arm in arm, and looked into each others eyes,

And for once I dropped my guise

I crawled out onto a limb so thin,

Told you who I am, what I’ve been

How long I look back, only time can tell

Left with one option, return back to my protective shell

But one day I shall again arise

Soon after that last tear dries

For it does not matter how slowly I go, so long as I don’t stop

When, and only when, it is dark enough can we see the stars

And I will then finally be soaring once again high as Mars