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Everything's Going Wrong... (Poem)

Poetry By: TakeMeAsIAm
Romance



I'm so confused... What can I do now, when everything has gone to hell?


Submitted:Jan 29, 2010    Reads: 787    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   


Everything's Going Wrong...

***

I love him,

And he knows that now,

But he loves her,

And I'm just the second choice.

Everything's going wrong...

This isn't where I want to be.

I want to be her,

But for her sake

I don't want to feel what I feel.

I love her as much as I love him,

I lover her more than I want him,

So I won't take him.

But I have always done everything

For someone else,

And never for my own happiness.

Everything's going wrong...

I love her,

But I love him too.

What is more important to me?

Her?

Or him?

My friend?

Or my love?

Everything's going wrong...

I shouldn't want him;

He belongs to her,

And he belongs with her.

I helped them,

I gave him to her,

So why do I feel this way?

Everything's going wrong...

Mixed messages are everywhere;

Does he want me?

Does he love her?

Who does he want?

But that doesn't really matter

Because I gave my word;

Without her consent

I won't have him.

Everything's going wrong...

I want to take him

If he offers,

Which he shouldn't,

But he might.

But I want to keep my word,

And I want to keep her,

So I can't take him.

But I still want him.

Everything's going wrong...

Time will tell

What happens now.

Does he want me?

Time will tell.

Does he love her?

Time will tell.

Can I have him?

Time will tell.

I don't want to wait;

I want to know.

Everything's going wrong...

This isn't where I want to be,

Treading this thin line

Between him and her,

Keeping both happy

While sacrificing myself.

I haven't been able to say

The words "I'm happy" and mean them

In my entire life.

I have a chance,

A small chance,

To be able to say it,

But is he worth

The loss of her?

Everything's going wrong...

My heart is torn in two,

And I fear my body is following.

This line is the blade of a knife;

One false step and I bleed,

More, and I'm cut to pieces.

This isn't what I want.

I want them to be happy,

But I also want to be happy.

This is the blade I stand on;

My happiness on one side,

Her happiness on the other.

Everything's going wrong...

I'm almost willing to sacrifice it all

For myself.

But I can't;

I love her as much as I love him,

And I don't want to lose her.

But we can't stay

In the precarious position

We stand in now.

Everything's going wrong...

I can't walk this path,

But I can't take the other,

And if I carve my own path through the woods,

Then I will be hurt much more

By the thorns and branches.

I can't go that way,

And I can't go the other way.

Backwards is impossible,

And the path I am on ends.

Everything's going wrong...

I gave him to her,

But now he might leave,

And where does that leave me?

Next in line, next in line I am,

But I gave my word

Not to have him without consent

That she will never give.

Everything's going wrong...

I am not without hope.

Consent is a possibility,

So small as to be almost invisible,

But still a possibility.

But if consent is not given

Where do I stand?

If he wants me

Do I walk away?

If he pursues me

Do I turn away?

But this is barely a possibility,

Hardly seen and barely acknowledged.

Everything's going wrong....

No, no, no!

No possibility, forget it!

It is him and her,

Her and him,

And in this equation I do not exist.

It is him plus her,

It is her plus him,

And I am nothing but a stray mark

On the page of their lives.

Oh, everything's going wrong!





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