For this our heart is faint;
For these things our eyes are
dim.
-Lamentations 5:17
What does she want me to do?
Does she think I can read her mind?
No matter what,
she always has some kind of problem.
If I call her, then she picks up the phone
and sits in silence,
leaving me to talk mostly to myself.
And if I don't call her—
then that's even worse!
If I don't call then I get accused of being
drunk, lazy, forgetful, insensitive, aloof, uncaring
etc…etc…etc…etc.
I get accused of having orgies with super-models—
at two in the afternoon!
Like yeah, right, they just flock to my $12 an hour.
If I say I'll stay over at night
then she always has some excuse—I'm tired, my head hurts,
I have work (like I don't) my best friend called—
but if I say that I Won't come over that night
then she starts accusing me again of being drunk,
lazy, forgetful, insensitive…etc..etc…
and she starts dreaming up those orgies again.
If she would just tell me what she wanted,
or what she didn't want, I'd either do it,
or not do it. But then at least I'd know.
Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one
who is even trying in this relationship.
He can be so dumb sometimes—
really, he can be. It's like
he doesn't even care.
How much more obvious do I have to make everything?
Does he think that I'm his mother?
He calls me at the worst times—
like he's the only one with something to do,
he's always interrupting me, cutting me off.
And sometimes, he doesn't even call at all!
Even when he promises that he will.
He claims that he just forgot, or that he was busy working,
but I know that he's not always busy at work.
I know he has friends that he goes out with at night—
his buddies he calls them,
not that he I ever get to meet them,
(It's O.K., I hate them anyway)
and he gets drunk with them
in bars—sometiems at 2 in the afternoon!
And I've seen his phone,
all of those numbers in there.
I know that there are other women that he talks to.
Pretty girls too, prettier than me,
and I know that he wants them more than me.
And he acts surprised, and feels hurt,
when I sometimes don't let him come over and sleep with me!
Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one
who is even trying in this relationship.
She better watch out,
because one day I might decide she's not worth the aggravation
and just leave her ass.
I'm not afraid to be alone—I'm my own man.
He better watch out,
because one day I might decide I can do better than him,
and dump his drunk sorry ass.
I'm not afraid to be alone—I'm my own woman.
Yeah,
that's what I'll do—
leave the bitch!
Yeah,
that's what I'll do—
dump the bastard!
But I think I love her,
but I think I love him—
sometimes,
we guess.
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