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If the Moon should Break

Short Story By: air
Romance


This is a Challenge by FunnyBunny. to write a story with the phrase; 'By the night, by the starlight, the twinkling of hearts would be our solemn vow' ^_^
yes isn't that a beautiful line she gave me?
so how come it took me so long to write it? lol, well my computer crashing, weather too nice to stay inside, and some of lifes chaos of course lol ^_^
Lien let me know if it's ok ok? I'm not sure if it canreally be titled a story sinse it's really more poetic like. if not I'll redo.
well ok, here goes it, hope you like ^_^ View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Jul 10, 2008    Reads: 55    Comments: 8    Likes: 12   


As two young star gazers made vows to each other

they could see thier selves on the other side of the moon,

as two elderly people still deeply in love,

for as they made thier vows,

time was naught~

*

"If the moon should break from our sentiments alone,

I would endeavor to catch every last moonbeam

that shattered exsistance as we knew it to be,

and start again"

cried the boy,

"The dusty night would go on shimmering

in the deepness of silent whispers in thyne ear."

*

"By the night, by the starlight, the twinkling

of hearts would be our solemn vow"

*

And not to be forgotten were the melting moments

into stars that had not yet shown,

as the young man said:

*

"Joy, was not the freedom I had,

but, the ever intermingling with you"

*

The two did not know the world had ended,

and yet thier love had not.


12

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Comments:

Very romantic.
You really understand poetic nuance.
Beautiful.

Posted: Jul 10, 2008

Author Comment:

lol, I do? well I loved the phrase she gave me, I mean with a phrase like that it was already spoken in romantic nuance you know? so putting into story was the actual effort.
thanks hun....be good, love, love...

Joy, was not the freedom I had,
but, the ever intermingling with you
eeeeeeeeeeeek! Katie! I think this was beautiful!
My heart is racing!

Posted: Jul 10, 2008

Author Comment:

hahahahahah, ya didn't she give me an awesome phrase? I mean that phrase: "By the night, by the starlight, the twinkling of hearts will be our solemn vow" lol, ya that mostly right there does most the work you know? how could lovelyness not come out of that? lol, but ya, most usually I connect with the freedom of attachments to be joy, and then here I changed to meaning that joy is more special with a certain someone. hahaha 'eeeeeeeeeek' lol ya, thanks alot sweetie, now calm down a little ^_^ lol

a beautiful write, Katie... just beautiful!! You are right... it is much more poetic that a short story... even in the lay-out structure that you chose, but a real, honest to goodness, GEM!!!

What a glorious revelation about true love... that even if the world should end today, true love does not!

Peace and love, Katie.....Jerry xoxo

Posted: Jul 11, 2008

Author Comment:

awwwww oh ya, isn't that so special? I mean just think how much love would have to be there to not even notice that the world was gone? wow, to think that that essence alone could permeate space to no end. ahhhh such bliss, heheheeh ^_^
well yes I was so excited to get those phrase's she gave me, I actually went: "whew" lol, cause I really wasn't ready for a challenge jsut yet, so why I took it on I do not know. though i finnally found some time (that was hiding in my closet) lololol, ya I finally found some time there and so here it is lol ^_^ ^_^ ^_^
thankyou Jerry, Jerry ************** :)

This was absolutely breathtaking. You are such a good writer. You did a wonderful job on the challenge.

Posted: Jul 11, 2008

Author Comment:

*giggles* oh thankyou Susan, but credit must also be due to FunnyBunny, without her phrase it would not have been.
I think it would impossible not to write a beuaty out of that phrase *smiles*
have a warm and lovely day ~katie

A very lovely and inspiring line she gave you. I can just imagine you closing your eyes and letting your typing hands do all the work, the words just pouring out of you. This has a very rhytmic cadence to it. I can hear a soft piano in the background of this, maybe a little soprano saxopohone. (Ahhh, that's just the musician in me)
Nicely done Katie. I did find a typo for you though (leave it to me to ruin it for you, eh?), The very last line, you spelled "thier", instead of "their".... Don't you remember "*i* before *e*, except after *c*".

MA

Posted: Jul 11, 2008

Author Comment:

ahahahahahah oh good! I was hoping either you or Anna would let me know ^_^

I'm glad you can put rhythm to it, now can you make it so the rest of us can hear it too ^_^ lol.

one of these days I will attempt to download music, (one of these days maybe) lol.

so anyway I was jsut not sure if it would pass for a short story or not you know?
Thanks sweetie, hope it's not too hot where you are, here it is blistering.......like fire --oh-no......:)

i have always been intrigued by starry nights full of promises...the phrase given by her is not only beautiful but also intense...and the way u have described in the poem it touched everyones' soul...

Posted: Jul 17, 2008

Author Comment:

aww, thankyou Pratibha,,,, I hope all is well with you today,,,I'm glad it turned out well ^_^
~katie

Katie, Awww, a breath of fresh air.. I enjoyed the love in this piece, because true love never glows dim.

Posted: Aug 4, 2008

Author Comment:

hahahaah ^_^ yes, yes, isn't it sweet! ^_^
thank you so much Vee.

this was wonderfull! i am speechless! even though it did not rym or anything like that i lvd it! i voted for it and made it a link! i luv how u began with peaple - other people exept ur own feelings! wow!

Posted: Aug 11, 2008

Author Comment:

gosh Rose thankyou very much, not sure if I have ever been on someones link before. cool! ^_^
I am very happy that you liked this
~katie



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