Lonely is the man without…
By Sreekumar Nair
“Every day I wake up
Then I start to break up
Lonely is the man without love
Every day I start out
Then I cry my heart out
Knowing that its cloudy above”
Then, this particular song was something of my life. Boredom bought this song moaning through my lips. A struggler I was. Desperate to find someone in that chat room who would be my friend as long as he or she wish .Irritation got better of my attitude and I started throwing slangs at the girls for they did not chat with me .Never mind few slangs bounced back to me.Girls aren’t polite as they say. They make a better game player. They understand well who the main man of the team is and they would rather stick to him till she needs him. A loser I was so there was no question of girls sticking their ass to me.But still I was there; because suddenly I realized the fun in having arguments with people of chat rooms; you are a girl for a guy. This is a policy .A policy for desperate guys who don’t possess that knack in them to impress a girl so easily. So they tend to become a girl, teasing guys secretly and squeezing out the fun in understanding more desperate guys. But then I had already applied such role in disguise to kill my time long long ago and I found no fun in it now anymore. So I was here to chat with anyone. If he is guy, be professional and talk technical. And if I hit a girl, be a flirt. This was my common rule.
But then rules are meant to be changed. As I said, I was here today to abuse girls. Hardly you could find a girl in chat room now a days and even if you do find them, the first feeling of it would be that she is a fake. Chatters generally don’t believe each other. They all know that if they happen to hit a jackpot getting the numbers of opposite sex their fun is limited to a short period after the first date .A short fun that is. Then comes the reasons for excusing each other off their lives. Girl would say “I enjoyed being your girlfriend a lot but my parents are not happy with this” and guy would say “my parents are not happy with this but I enjoyed a lot being your boyfriend”. Both will understand each other or call it compromise with each other and move out finding their next jackpot. A true- love story!!!
Ha! So let me come to my story. Today I was here to throw slangs at girls because as I said I was enjoying it.There are lots of things one would enjoy being in a chat room. Say for example, commenting on people in public chat room. You call a girl bitch and she would wink her emoticon eyes. Don’t you think it’s cool? Stay cool that is the magic to get recognized in public chat room. Then you would find people waiting for you again the next day at the same time just because you winked your eyes when you were called a bitch. Never be angry. Angry people don’t have place anywhere let alone public chat rooms. Sort out things cooly.There lies the magic .Use of emoticons is such a fun that it brings completely a different meaning to a conversation. But I was in no mood to bring emoticons in my chat today just because as I said earlier today I was here to throw slangs at girls.
Hitherto, I was stubborn to stab a girl with slangs and bring my victim bowing down at me in this heated chat crash. Until this time that is. My eyes fell on a typical ID, part of which was spelled wrongly but the arrangements of fonts looked pleasant. Perhaps intentionally spelled wrong. Weren’t those two words gorgeous I would had used the most disgusting slangs on the user of that particular ID. Who is she? Kute Angel? Hell!
Firstly, I’ll let her know how to spell"cute” correctly and if she acts too smart she will get to know who I am.
I asked her to spell cute correctly and within no fraction of a second she showed me her tongue. I was about to throw slangs at her when she pouted her tongue, then she laughed. Something I felt, good or bad not sure though. Perhaps she was a kid who doesn’t like being commented and who would reply to teases by waving her fingers above her ears and make a pig of her nose. And she was doing something like that.
Sure, she has a big tongue and she wouldn’t stop arguing. It’s going to be fun.
I wasn’t sure of her age. Only girls would think of keeping such an ID coz they always live in the world of fantasies. But still it was a god damn freaking chat room filled with crazy people so part of me wasn’t yet sure of her sex too. Age and sex were to be discovered.
“Speak English I don’t understand your emoticons” I said
Indian kids aren’t that perfect with their English.
She laughed out loud and asked what was my age followed by a question mark and then concluded it calling me “grandpa” followed by the second question mark.
Never mind she has got a style.
“Grandpa my ass” I said.
“You sound like one you ass” she said.
Sure she is not some kid. She is wild.
So that was the way it all had begun between us.
I had a feeling she was not a kid but even if she was, then she was a kid who is pissed off with herself being a kid and desperately counting the days for her first period.
“You are a pathetic worm crawling on the floor to reach a bottle of milk” I said to see how she would reply.
“Oh hell, you are so sick. From where do you get such sick stuffs? Go away” she said.
That’s it. My plan was executed and I understood she could never be a boy. Boys generally don’t respond this way to such comments. They would rather write something that would bring the one at the other side to write something weirder. Something uglier. Something more dirty. Boys are rebels after all and they manage such shows playing it dirty. But she seemed just concerned.
From where do you get such sick stuffs?
There was something interesting about her. You are a guy teasing a girl and if she insults you, surely you are going to screw her. No doubt. And if she smiles back you’ll perhaps feel sorry for her or fall for her .But you tease a girl and she shows her tongue you’ll feel like you should tease her more. You’ll find something cute in her. Something that you want to see again. A comically angry expression .You’ll feel the girl is angry but still you will enjoy playing it because you will have it decided subconsciously that in the next moment you will lose the argument just to make her happy. Ask a kid to share her lollypop and you’ll enjoy it more when she say” no” and start minding her own business. No doubt you will drag the request then.
I was dragging my beg. Millions of “sorry” were sent to calm the angry cute little devil in her. My magic of flirty words workedand she managed her reply after sometime asking me not to smoothen her with soap and it’s alright.
She called me “dude” and said I talk like an old man. She would call me villager and call herself a “goody good girl”. If I was the devil then she would be the fallen angel on earth who would save people from me.Whenever she was fumed I would ask her to relax and she would say "Alright relaxing...relaxing”. I was told of her name as “Anjali” at the beginning but soon with the proceedings of the chat she dropped me her Facebook email ID and It was given to my understanding that her namewas Akshatha Netra that I could never get to my brain and was nicknamed by me as Amaylo.
And there by began our distant friendship passing not a single day without writing emails to each other. Till today.