What the crap kind of line was that? "Emotionally invested." What the fuck. Either you feel something or you don't. His eyes flick back toward me, but I turn away. I don't want to look at him. Not now, maybe not ever again. I can't feel his stare on me. He gave up on me too. Great. Just fucking great. I stand up. "Emotionally invested." What a crock of bull. What he really wants is a commitment and I can't give him that. Frankly, I'm not sure he deserves that.
"Where are you going?" He asks. His voice cracks. He's weak. My hand grasps the door handle hard, but I don't turn it. I don't turn around either.
"I'm leaving." I say.
"I can see that. Where are you going?"
"Does it matter?" I decide to hit him where it hurts. It will make it easier. I'm not cut out for his touchy feely-ness. "You pull your metro-sexual girly emotional shit on me." I say before adding. "I can't be with someone like that. Like you." I pull the door open, and i'm gone. The night air hits my face, hard and crisp and cool. A new beginning, fresh and full of spirit, full of possibilities.
I take a step into it, and suddenly I am being drug back. His hand is wrapped tightly around my bicep, his fingers thick and strong, and hot with rage. He forces me back into the the coffee shop with ease and tosses me into a chair like one tosses a discarded coat.
"What the Fuck?" I say, I start to stand, but then he is there, in my face. His hands wrap around the arm rest of the chair, and instinctively I arch my back, forcing some distance between us but he doesn't accept the boundary and draws in closer. His lips are so close to mine that I can feel his heated breath there. My heart, I realize is pounding in unison with those breaths, quick, hard.
"You don't get to leave just because shit is getting real." He says. His voice shakes. His arm shake, I imagine his knuckles are going white, but I can't bring myself to look. For the first time since I met him, his eyes finally look alive. If he backs off now, If the fire in his eyes extinguish, my insides will turn to ice. I'll leave again. I can't let that happen, not when there is this... this creature inside of him. I have to find out if it is a monster or something else. It feels like something else, something I've been missing, something i've been craving. I crave him now.
He looks down and I feel my heart give a panicked leap. No, don't loose the fire now. I press my lips against his. We've never kissed before. Not like this anyway. Before I know it his fire ignites, the chair is gone, and I am on my back on the dusty floor. He straddles me and again I am mesmerized by his eyes.
"Sex isn't going to change the fact that we need to talk." He says, pinning my arms above my head. "Things need to change."
"I know." I say. But we'll talk later.