I sat in bed, crying.
It hurt so much. I hurt so much. My heart, my
soul, my pride.
I lay back limply, something inside of me had
cracked, I felt like I just couldn't give a shit about anything
anymore. Life isn't worth it.
I closed my eyes, sleep, sleep will heal
I remembered that cold November, it was raining
and we had no umbrella. Me (Miri) and my boyfriend Mike, holding
hands. Our breath came out in clouds of mist, cold, warm hands
clasped together. We were soaked that time, our clothes clung like
skin to our bodies, clearly showing our body shapes. I glanced at
his muscular chest and blushed. He saw me blushing and grinned. His
beautiful lips stretched into a beautiful cheeky curve.
He leaned down to peck me on the lips. Soft and
warm. I felt as if he loved me and I for sure loved
He can't have though. No one could cheat on the
person they love like that.
He had slept with my best friend three times
during our relationship and yet... I forgave him, I forgave him and
tried to act as though nothing had happened, I even forgave my
"best friend". They had seemed so sincere in their apologies, I
couldn't have turned them down and... And if I had... I would be
I would be so alone, no boyfriend, no best
friend, sitting alone in class, sitting alone in lunch. I could
clearly imagine the countless boring days that would be sure to
I sighed and tried my hardest to wipe his face
from my mind.
I fell asleep.
A dark horrid sleep, the type of sleep were you
are afraid to dream for fear of re-opening wounds with the images
so likely to appear, the type of sleep were the only thing about it
that really resembled sleep was the closed eyes, were you can't
wait for the alarm to ring and for your eyes to snap open
Tick tock.Tick tock.Tick tock.Tick tock.Tick
tock.Tick tock.Tick tock.Tick tock.Tick tock.Tick tock.Tick
tock.Tick tock.Tick tock.
I half smashed the alarm clock as I clambered
out of bed.
The mirror is a cruel thing.
Pale skin, eye bags, red eyes.
And I still can't believe he dumped me, threw me
to the ground and set me on fire.
Sleep doesn't heel wounds, time in a persons
mind does. I don't have time. By the time I'll be healed I'll have
white hair and shrivelled skin. Scars aren't named scars for
I begrudgingly edged away from my horrid
reflection and got ready to brush my teeth and prepare for a day of
salt and vinegar to be massaged into my wounds.
I cringed and threw my phoned back onto my desk.
I fucking hate myself for feeling guilty. Why did I always feel as
though I had to apologise!!!
That's right, I told myself, she had it coming,
I mean, she wasn't the sexiest bitch on the planet you can do
I broke up with her for a reason, because I
fucking hated the way she kept trying to get me to go out on dates
with her and shit. So yes, I cheated on her with my ex, but it's
not like it's the first time! I mean, there was that time with one
of my classmates, a one night stand, but she does t know about
that, but I also slept with her best friend and she didn't seem to
It's not such a big deal anyway whys she got to
have such huge commitment issues?!
Still she had a pretty good figure for a white
girl... An e eyes were big with long eyelashes... What the fuck am
I thinking, she needed a nose job and a boob job to get match my
And she was pretty annoying somehow to, she kept
trying to get me to pick her up, no for fucks sake, you live like
half a mile away and what on earth is the point of it?!!
She always came near my house for our dates, and
so she should! She was the one who always wanted to go on them, I
had better things to do so why should I have had to put in all the
Well whatever, she's outa my life now, time to
hit a joint with me and ma real friends bitch.
I grabbed a slightly weird smelling towel and
headed off to the showers.
After a good rub down I pulled on some baggy
jeans and a loose denim blue T-shirt, a gold necklace and my usual
I grabbed a basket ball and 20 quid and stuffed
them both into my pocket (just kidding).
I picked up my mobile.
She kissed me lightly on my lips, soft and warm
like a cushion, soon we delved further and our tongues entwined, I
got a buzz like nothing I got from any other slut. But I wouldn't
have cheated on her had she not saved her virginity until 16... 16
mate you gotta be fucking kidding me... That's two years! I'de be
18 by that time!!!
But still remember that look of horror on her
face as she snapped open my mobile with out my consent, it had been
vibrating for a while.
[Two missed calls and a text;
Dana - Did that sex last night mean we're
getting back together?
She cried and yelled at me. Her face was
distorted in pain. I didn't know what to do, how to deal with the
situation, I had never felt guilty like that before, to be honest
it scared me sort of.
All I could say was "we should break up" only it
didn't come out like I wanted I to, it had sounded less cruel and
heartless in my head.
She stopped sobbing but her tears continued to
roll silently off her cheeks.
She fell utterly silent and looked me dead in
the eye, I looked away.
She wiped away her tears and but her jacket back
It was almost as if her footsteps where just as
silent, I felt as if I had gone deaf. Not quite, pit pat, pit pat,
pit pat, kachink.
And she was gone.
And I was gone.
School was dreadful, not the place to heal a
heart break. All day long I just felt like such a
I had nothing and no one.
Even my heart had given up on me.
Everything had go e wrong today. I was so clumsy
and I tripped multiple times.
Jeez, anybody would think I had stolen Karma's
boyfriend and that she now had a personal grudge against
I absentmindedly whacked my arm into a pilar and
cursed (rather unladylike I know) as my school bag went skidding
across the floor, spewing all it's contents as it
I sighed, today just wasn't my best
As I leant in to pick up my notebook, a slender
pianist hand leant in before I could reach it and picked it
I looked up and glared, ready for someone to
laugh at me and throw my note book to some other dumb jock to piss
My face however softened.
He was Asian with olive skin colour, ear
piercings and crow black hair that was messy like Harry potter
Before I realised it I was to.
He felt different from Mike.
More compelling, more charming, more honest and
way more handsome.
His eyes were a twinkling dark green, clear and
Oh no you DON'T! A voice in the back of my mind
shouts at me.
Your supposed to be recovering from a from
broken heart. What broken hearted girl would fall in love the next
Then I realised I was staring, and our hands
were touching, soft. Then he realised to, blushed and jumped back,
as did I, twin reactions.
I giggled, he chuckled, an then we both broke
out into torrents of laughter.
Why? I don't really know, it just felt like I
was overcome with euphoria. And those eyes, they had shown the same
suffering and betrayal I ha experienced, and our bags spoke for
Students and classmates stared, we picked up the
contents of my bag, they stare some more, we held hands, they're
eyes were practically glued to us as me skipped down the hall with
triumphant little skips.
We didn't care what they thought or the rumours
they might spread.
We glanced into each others eyes and I could
tell he was thinking along the same lines as me.
Lets just cherish the moment.
--Four years later--
Shit I can't believe that bitch kicked me out!
As if it was her apartment to begin with!
I strolled down the street, I'de better hook up
with some new chick soon or else...
I walked past Primark and down into
I got myself a black coffee as usual and sat
down in my favourite seat, across the room I could see a beautiful
girl with long red died hair and olive coloured skin. She had such
piercing blue eyes and everything about her brought back
Shit! What memories though?
And then I remembered.
Mira... No Miri? Yeah now I remember, that girl
really loved me. She would be an easy win...
Man she had grown up, she had some nice curves
and everything about her drew attention to herself, I could see
people staring... Cowards.
I walked up to her.
"Hey Miri" I smiled "long time no see
"Hello uh... Matt"
"Uhh I mean... Mika..." She caught my glare "or
"Uh yeah hey Mike" she smiled sheepishly and got
out her phone to text.
"Your really beautiful now you
"Thanks" she said, she didn't even look up from
the bloody mobile. Pissed I just got straight to the point. "You
wanna go round to the pub for a couple of drinks or
She turned her head up so quickly it surprised
"No" then got up and left.
What the fuck?! Who the fuck did she think she
I walked back up the road and saw her again,
this time through the window of Primark.
I was about to yell what the fuck was that for
when I saw a tall Asian guy with crow black hair walk up to her and
peck her on the lips.
That was my day ruined because of that bitch.
Why would you choose him over me!
A black cloud practically floated above me head
and scared the living daylights out of the pedestrians and I could
see them edging a few metres from me.
Fuck why was I so pissed?! A snickering little
voice in the back of my head laughed a high pitched laugh and spoke
"jeleouse little bitch now are we?"
I practically thumped myself.
My shoulders hunched All the way as I walked to
the bloody pub I groaned as a black cat tiptoed across my